He keeps calling me a "slut"

If he is doing this at work or university report him for sexual harassment. Slut-shaming is the male response to sexual rejection so don't be surprised if this guy wants a piece of you and like all men he thinks with his penis.

Reply 41

username47781

20

Tell him you don't like being called that even as a joke, if he continues after that though i'd question why you are still friends with him.

Reply 42

BayHarborButcher

17

What if he genuinely thinks it's a joke?

I call my female friends slagss all the time because, you know, fun and banter??????

Reply 43

Daenerys...

2

Original post by BayHarborButcher

What if he genuinely thinks it's a joke?

I call my female friends slagss all the time because, you know, fun and banter??????

Sexual harassment is not banter. It's sexual abuse.

Reply 44

Maradiah

2

Ignore him honey...hes probably just jealous that your getting action and he isn't ... chin up :bigsmile:

Reply 45

username47781

20

Can we please keep this on topic, also Health and Relationships is not a place to debate, if you want to do this then please go to the debate and current affairs section, thanks.

Reply 46

The two eds

4

Original post by Anonymous

One of my male friends keeps making derogatory comments about me, in a jokey way, but it really offends me.

I know you're probably thinking "Oh, lighten up!", but it's starting to annoy me so much.

He'll drop into conversation that I'm a "slut", a "dirty girl", "filth" etc, which is really frustrating because I'm nowhere near "slutty"! Even if I were, it's just an unacceptable way to talk to about somebody.

How can I make him understand that it's upsetting me?

But surely if you are sleeping with countless men at the same time, that would make you a slut?

Reply 47

PangXie

9

Bit unfair to condemn the guy when OP hasn't yet told him it upsets her (as shown in this thread, it's acceptable in friendly use for some).

I like the suggestion on the first page - act mildly offended and say "hey, too far". If he continues after that then he's a tool.

Reply 48

iammeyouareyou

13

Original post by BayHarborButcher

What if he genuinely thinks it's a joke?

I call my female friends slagss all the time because, you know, fun and banter??????

Agreed. This is the type of thing people would class as "banter", although some may be more sensitive to it than others.

OP, if it offends you then you will have to tell him that. Telling people on the internet about it won't solve your problem.

Reply 49

BayHarborButcher

17

Original post by iammeyouareyou

Agreed. This is the type of thing people would class as "banter", although some may be more sensitive to it than others.

OP, if it offends you then you will have to tell him that. Telling people on the internet about it won't solve your problem.

Exactly, I don't understand how people are so quick decide it's sexual abuse?? In friendships you have banter and that tends to involve name calling. not because you genuinely mean it -_-

Reply 50

BayHarborButcher

17

Original post by Daenerys...

Sexual harassment is not banter. It's sexual abuse.

Oh lighten up, you really think I sexually abuse my friends? It's mutual, I get called a whore or something of the sort and I retaliate. Both parties know it's just fun hence the guy in this case may think this except here the banter isn't mutual.

hey slut

Original post by Anonymous

One of my male friends keeps making derogatory comments about me, in a jokey way, but it really offends me.

I know you're probably thinking "Oh, lighten up!", but it's starting to annoy me so much.

He'll drop into conversation that I'm a "slut", a "dirty girl", "filth" etc, which is really frustrating because I'm nowhere near "slutty"! Even if I were, it's just an unacceptable way to talk to about somebody.

How can I make him understand that it's upsetting me?

i have the exact same problem! at first i was like "yeah haha right"
but its gone too far.
i'm planning to confront him next week

Reply 53

Robbo-92

14

Wow, some people amaze me.

I wouldn't call anyone a slut even if we were the bestest of friends who joked about each other's sexual behaviour on a regular basis, for me it's just unneeded.

As for what to do I'd go with the option on page one, just say that he's taking it too far and should stop calling you it as it's getting annoying etc, if he keeps calling you it I suppose you could take it further.

Reply 54

Anonymous #3

I'd tell him you don't like it and he shouldn't be talking to you/about you in that way. If he doesn't stop, you can just call him a f*ckboy whenever and he'll realise he doesn't like it so he'll stop

Reply 55

Zechs

14

Original post by Anonymous

One of my male friends keeps making derogatory comments about me, in a jokey way, but it really offends me.

I know you're probably thinking "Oh, lighten up!", but it's starting to annoy me so much.

He'll drop into conversation that I'm a "slut", a "dirty girl", "filth" etc, which is really frustrating because I'm nowhere near "slutty"! Even if I were, it's just an unacceptable way to talk to about somebody.

How can I make him understand that it's upsetting me?

The people you define as friends in your life really needs to be re-evaluated at some point.I can't imagine for any reason whatsoever calling a female friend a slut.

What you need to do is put your foot down and let him know how you feel it's that simple and be really serious make sure he gets the message no cute girl act no more. Show him the women you are, that you are a person who deserves respect. Even say it loudly in front of another person if needed just to push that message in his mind further. Plus that way you would also have a witness to anything you say to each other.

Edit:

A few of the male posters are labeling this behaviour as simply a joke,a bit of banter between two people. Clearly though the girl has spoken about how she does not enjoy the label being used by this male towards her so she herself and yes the most important person here is the OP, she has described it as a negative it affects her. So learn to take her view into consideration when commenting not just your experience.

Other males/females have also claimed he is doing it because he wants sex with her. Now if this is true not to say that these two groups both speak from the same camp,however, if this is true that it's cause he wants sex from her then it is right that some people even the OP can label it sexual harassment because he is pestering her. Now perhaps OP has not put her foot down enough to let him know but this does not change the fact that if she or anyone else reported him he could be accused of sexual harassment.

So those posters who think it's just banter with a friend think very carefully because peoples friendships can change very quick and it does not take much for someone to get you in trouble if they so desire, especially between men and women.

Now I am not encouraging the OP to report him, I don't necessarily think it's required if she voices her feelings and he respects them. That's the first step she needs to do, most things can be solved through simple dialogue. I suspect the guy does not know how you feel OP so at least let him know before deciding on taking it any further.

(edited 9 years ago)

He keeps calling me a "slut"

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