Emotionally needy girl..

Until recently I had been dating this extremely emotionally needy girl and she was just... impossible. She was fine at first, but as time went on she became more and more dependent on me, she would call me like six times everyday, leave me a dozen texts and would freak out if I couldn't answer them. It got worse and worse and she would spend all day crying and saying it was my fault when I didn't do anything. She started threatening to kill herself if I didn't do things she wanted.

I tried to be understanding and had a lot of sympathy for her but once it got to that point I realised she isn't capable of being in a relationship so ended it. Has anybody ever been in similar position to this? What can of mental problems does this sound like, how can people act this way?

Reply 1

phunky_fresh

Nope but sounds like you dodged a bullet there.

Reply 2

username360639

Original post by Anonymous

Until recently I had been dating this extremely emotionally needy girl and she was just... impossible. She was fine at first, but as time went on she became more and more dependent on me, she would call me like six times everyday leave me a dozen texts and would freak out if I couldn't answer them. It got worse and worse and she would spend all day crying and saying it was my fault when I didn't do anything. She started threatening to kill herself if I didn't do things she wanted.

I tried to be understanding and had a lot of sympathy for her but once it got to that point I realised she isn't capable of being in a relationship so ended it. Has anybody ever been in similar position to this? What can of mental problems does this sound like, how can people act this way?

That's a bit extreme that she would kill herself if you didn't do what she wanted. You tried to be with her and be understanding but you decided to end it. In my opinion you made the right decision.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 3

miser

I was in a similar situation. It started off okay, but as time went on she was becoming emotionally manipulative similarly to how you describe. She had an array of mental health problems - depression, PTSD, and possible diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD).

I came to the exact same conclusion that you did, that she wasn't capable of having a relationship. I don't think these mental health problems were exactly the cause of it, but they probably fed into it. I think she was just, as you say, emotionally needy.

In my case it was like she wanted her life to always be dramatic, with her the constant centre of attention. I think she used these problems in order to spin a narrative to others that her life is difficult so that people felt sorry for her - PLOM (poor little old me) syndrome.

I think you did the right thing, since accepting that kind of behaviour from someone also enables them to continue with it. It's not fair for her to have tried to manipulate you in that way, and it's important to look out for yourself as well, since I know how much of an impact having that kind of person in your life can have.

Reply 4

Freudian Slip

Original post by miser

I think you did the right thing, since accepting that kind of behaviour from someone also enables them to continue with it. It's not fair for her to have tried to manipulate you in that way, and it's important to look out for yourself as well, since I know how much of an impact having that kind of person in your life can have.

I have a BPD diagnosis - similar sounding to OP's ex-girlfriend - and agree completely with this, in spite of it. :yep:

Reply 5

James Milibanter

Original post by Loafing.Charizard

That's a bit extreme that she would kill herself if you didn't do what she wanted. You tried to be with her and be understanding but you decided to end it. In my opinion you made the right decision.