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How do you know when to end a relationship

I have been with my boyfriend over a year and recently we have had quite a few problems.

I am wondering what to do. On one hand I do love him and I feel comfortable with him. I feel a connection with him I haven't really felt before with anyone else. It feels right when I am with him. It feels wrong to imagine not being with him and find someone else.

On the other hand we have issues around trust on both sides and a few other issues that I don't see a solution for. Another bad thing is that I have told my friends and family about some of our problems and they think I am better off without him which sways me towards break up as they could be right and I feel stupid moaning about someone and hearing that and sticking by them anyway.

I am not really sure what to do. How do you know whether its best to end something or work on it?
I don't expect you to post problems on here but with little insight to the problems you are having with him, it is sort of difficult to offer any real advice... I mean the trust part is key, if you aren't 100% comfortable with him and him you, I can see it going down hill... I think you should talk with him though personally.
Reply 2
Original post by DannyGeldart
I don't expect you to post problems on here but with little insight to the problems you are having with him, it is sort of difficult to offer any real advice... I mean the trust part is key, if you aren't 100% comfortable with him and him you, I can see it going down hill... I think you should talk with him though personally.


Problems on both side really, I find he interprets my actions and words all wrong. Eg. if I dont answer my phone whilst I am in a club with my friends it means I am either pulling someone or would prefer to talk to other guys than him.. which is completely ridiculous as I never talk to guys when I am out anyway let alone 'pull' anyone even when I am single. He also interprets other things I do and say wrong and won't believe me when I explain it and accuses me of playing mind games even though I genuinly don't.

We are both wrong in the way that we have said things to hurt eachother that we don't mean in the heat of the moment. There are also situations where I think he just does things to be difficult. Eg. Told me he doesnt want pics of his ex on his phone and i say it makes me.uncomfortable and he says he will delete them when he wants and wont be told what to do by me... even though he originally says he doesnt want them..
Reply 3
Your bf seems to be quite insecure and confusing. I guess the best way is to have a open heart talk on the matter. Reassure each other's trust and try to move forward, either with or without him.

Communication is key, be honest and say what you really feel.
Reply 4
Original post by liindie
Your bf seems to be quite insecure and confusing. I guess the best way is to have a open heart talk on the matter. Reassure each other's trust and try to move forward, either with or without him.

Communication is key, be honest and say what you really feel.


He is. I just dont know what to do. My friends and family think he is too stressful and I can find better. I would feel stupid to remain with him but I do love him and I make mistakes too..
If you don't have trust in the relationship then I'm afraid to say that it might mean there is no future for you. Unless you can somehow have a heart to heart with him and he is fully reassured.

Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship and without it, the whole thing can easily break apart. Good luck :smile:
Reply 6
This is the terrible thing about relationships and break ups. There are conflicting cant live with em can't live without em feelings. This leads to all the angst too. I guess you know when you know it's time to break up. The secret is probably not to soldier on when you know in your heart it's going to end. Good luck.
Reply 7
Original post by Zarek
This is the terrible thing about relationships and break ups. There are conflicting cant live with em can't live without em feelings. This leads to all the angst too. I guess you know when you know it's time to break up. The secret is probably not to soldier on when you know in your heart it's going to end. Good luck.


Thanks for the reply. I am confused as hell. I cannot cope with all of the conflicting feelings. Most of the time I love him and want it to work and not to end and then I remember all of the bad things he has said and done and I doubt it can work. :-/
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the reply. I am confused as hell. I cannot cope with all of the conflicting feelings. Most of the time I love him and want it to work and not to end and then I remember all of the bad things he has said and done and I doubt it can work. :-/


Let this also be a tip to you - unless you are sure you're going to end it, don't reveal all the issues to your family or friends (unless they can forget about it) - sometimes we argue and tell our friends/family things that impact their views for good. It can be very difficult to sway a close friend or family member back if they believe ur partner is an arse.
Relationships are all about compromise. Don't give in too easily.
I think you should talk to him about how you feel, especially with regards to the trust issues. If you can't work it out then perhaps it's best to end the relationship, but I'd recommend talking to him and trying to work it out first.

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