Crush rejects me - Advice!

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I don't know why I can't do it face to face? I feel like something bad will happen if I do. I actually always think that something bad will happen if I socialize with someone. I don't want them to talk about me again... I don't want to be known as a creep or a stalker...

Just try at first to say hi to people then make small talk and ask questions and then develop them into conversations. What difference does it make to you whether someone mentions u in another conversation? And nothing bad will happen if you talk to someone...tbh ur more at risk of becoming a fb stalker than a creepy guy in real life.

Reply 21

Moura

Original post by Anonymous

I always hope that she will change her mind and actually message me back ;/. I doubt that though... I have actually got worse over the last few days: i can't seem to control my emotions. I really like her (I actually think i've fallen with love with her to some extent) She is absolutely perfect and i can't help myself but think about her.
I don't know how to deal with this. She's in my class on Monday and it's going to be awkward as ****. I don't want her to feel awkward around me... I just really like her.

wasnt it already awkward that you'd speak to her over facebook bt never speak in real life even though she's in your classes?

Reply 22

DeProfundis1

Original post by Emily.97

Would definitely agree with kkboyk in terms of using distractions. This is slightly different, but I was really sad today, and I noticed how much of an effect it had when I stopped dwelling on my thoughts and just looked at some funny video on youtube. You'd be surprised.

Sorry to hear that you were feeling sad! :hugs:

Reply 23

Zarek

Original post by Anonymous

Basically, about a week ago, I finally bucked up the courage to ask my crush. I have had a major crush on this girl for a whole year: she was perfect in mind (sounds pathetic, i know). Basically, after a 2 months of talking to her on FB, i finally asked her out (i am a shy person irl, i never bucked up the courage to talk to her face to face... Hence, the rejection) - I don't have a lot of confidence when it comes to girls really... I never have and never will. Anyway, lets get to the main point. I made this thread to get advice. Since the ordeal, i have been upset about it and beating myself up over it. Can someone give me some advice on how to deal with my emotions please?

Keep your spirits up mate and don't blow things out of proportion. Blow outs are a way of dating life and guys have do get used to them. This won't be the last. Although it hurts like hell you just have to adopt a plenty more fish attitude. But with tenacity and resilience success and joy does come. Pick yourself up keep going and find the courage to ask a girl out face to face. Being shy is a disadvantage in dating but everyone finds a way through this such is the drive to find love and get your oats...

Sorry, only just saw the bit about Aspergers. I don't know much about this but can imagine it makes things even more difficult. Perhaps seek out a support group. As far as I am aware this condition is not an insurmountable barrier to relationships.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 24

bullsizzle

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you for the advice. I know I tried, but i am the kind of person who never gives up. Even though people tell me i can't do something or can't have something, i really keep working before i get it. In this case, i actually feel defeated as i never usually have crushes on girls really. I don't interact with girls alot.

Can i be truthful with you all?

When i was younger (age 14), i had a super crush on this girl i met at our local youth club. I really liked her, but after a while she kept bitching about me to her friends and calling me a creep. Since them, i have had confidence issues with the opposite sex. Because of my experience with girls, i have struggled since then (a bad start - created a phobia), it's like a have a phobia of talking to the opposite sex face to face... Because of that one issue!

Original post by Anonymous

Guys let me give you a golden piece of advice that turned my teenage and uni years around...i too was a shy guy...and short too so i struggled with my confidence...
What is confidence? The knowledge that we are in control of a situation and we know what we are doing...so how to become confident?
Simple, as with everything else it takes practice....which leads to experience....so how do we practice you mght ask, some of us struggle just to talk to girls so how the hell are we supposed to practice with many girls...
the answer for me lies in the laws of attraction...we are only shy around somebody we are attracted to, but somehow less shy around somebody we do not have feelings/lust for...so my solution is to drop your standards...flirt/talk/bang away with girls that normally you would have zero attraction towards...do this enough and you will magically find that the experience you have built up will help you be more relaxed and confident when it comes to chasing/courting/flirting/banging the girls you are actually attracted to...not to mention develop skills and techniques both social ones and bedroom ones that will come in useful when interacting with women in general...also reading neil strauss helps too :wink:

good luck!

Reply 25

Anonymous #1

I'm in her class tomorrow and I really can't face seeing her. I am still heart broken that she rejected me. Any advice on what to do?

Reply 26

gazy2k

Remain civil, if still say hello if she talks but dont go out of yor way for her for anything, distance yourself and dont speak to her as much or not at all. Ive been rejected endless of times and its nit a good feeling knowing you like the person and built yourself up to do something about it.