Getting rid of fat BF/GF

Maker

If your BF/GF was not fat when you got together but put on a lot of weight afterwards, want would you do?

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Reply 1

shawn_o1

it would be a very bad relationship if you were only attracted to her body rather than her heart

Reply 2

Flame Alchemist

Original post by shawn_o1

it would be a very bad relationship if you were only attracted to her body rather than her heart

True, but it's likely it'd also turn into a bad relationship if you found yourself no longer attracted to your partner.

I see two possibilities: a) the relationship would be so strong I'd no longer care, or b) I'd sensitively raise the issue if it became a significant health concern.

Reply 3

Rum Ham

This happened in my relationship. My bf was thin when we first met and within about 2 years, he became overweight. He blamed it on the fact we had moved in together and got takeaways a lot. 4 years on he is still this size. His weight and appearance doesn't bother me, the only worry I have is that his weight will affect his health. I wont ever dump him for being overweight or for not looking like the guy he was when we first started dating because I fell in love with him for more than just his looks. If his personality and attitude changed then I would dump him because that is the part of him I truly love and fell for, not his body.

Reply 4

Greg Jackson

Original post by shawn_o1

it would be a very bad relationship if you were only attracted to her body rather than her heart

lold hard

Reply 5

iamvick

I have to agree with the above comment.
Yeah it's not all about looks, but I can understand if you no longer find yourself being attracted to them if it's a significant amount of weight gain.

I think going about it in the kindest way possible is the best bet. Suggesting doing things together is probably the safest and gentlest way to introduce the idea to your partner such as:
- suggesting you guys go to the gym together.
- suggesting you both start eating a bit healthier

Make the focus be about getting healthier rather than losing weight. You might find yourself gaining some healthier habits at the same time!

Reply 6

JunkoR.

Still be with him/her

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Reply 7

Protégé

Depends on whether the attraction is there or not. Still, I'd try and go to the gym with her or something rather than throw her off completely.

Reply 8

Juicy J

I'd do nothing. It's her body, her choice. My girl put on a little bit of weight but she's still beautiful and sexy as ever (if anything, she's sexier now compared to before). It's a non-issue. Only problem is that it affects her a lot, it doesn't bother me in the slightest but it's a problem for her.

Reply 9

Viridiana

I'd probably ask them to get their **** together, gladly help them with that, too. IDK, I'm the kind of girl who was borderline overweight (according to BMI, I was really fat visually though) when she entered her relationship, and three years later borderline underweight, training regularly at a football club, jogging etc. and generally having quite a healthy lifestyle.
Then my relationship went to hell and I've put on some weight again lol, but now I'm comfortably at the bottom of the healthy zone so it's alright.
I'm just the kind of person who is motivated by having a comfortable life with a partner, and I find myself overindulging and not exercising when I'm sad and lonely. So I don't get the people who get lazy when they're stable with someone and don't want to be attractive and healthy for their partner...

Reply 10

Awesome Genius

Place a weighing scale next to the fridge.

Reply 11

Zaffre

If my partner gained weight and it made me question our relationship, I'd break up with them. If our compatibility is apparently dependent on physical appearance then it's not going to work out - we're all going to get old and ugly eventually :tongue:

Reply 12

liindie

Weight isn't actually an issue for me. In fact, I kinda prefer a little something to thin or muscular. (soft bear hugs :innocent:

) And if he gets me and I get him, I'd still be with him no matter what.

But what would concern me would be the health problems that come with the something something. Diabetes, heart function, fatty liver, indigestion, heartburn and so on.

I'd suggest having or preparing your significant other healthy homemade food that tastes awesome (plus you get to practice cooking. win win) or maybe workout together (double win win).

I don't think it'll be the wises to flat out say they're fat or dump them for being so. But, once you've tried and they still refuse to look after themselves and it's a huge issue for you, then I guess breaking up would be best. Not the fact that they gained weight but because they refuse to care of their own life. IMO

Reply 13

CharlieeB

Tell her she's fat.
Not that it's a health concern or you're worried about her well-being. Just tell her she's fat. She'll be running to someone more caring in an instant! :slap:

Reply 14

RoyalMarine

I would dump her. I have an athletic body and abs, I deserve hot girls.

Reply 15

TorpidPhil

Original post by CharlieeB

Tell her she's fat.
Not that it's a health concern or you're worried about her well-being. Just tell her she's fat. She'll be running to someone more caring in an instant! :slap:

Hmph. I can't help it if I'm blunt.

I suppose future partners of mine would have to appreciate my bluntness with regards to their defects.

I mean, I just can't stand all this nonsensical pointless wasting of time when it comes to tip-toeing around issues.

WHERE IS THE ****ING MONEY.

Why are you gaining loads of weight? What is the issue? Surely you don't want to right...? How can I help?

And then I'll help. I'm REALLY good at helping. If I want to get something done, I get it done, whether that something benefits me or it benefits someone I want to benefit doesn't matter.

Surely that can't be such a bad thing? To me it sounds superior to the time-wasting you would rather advocate.

Reply 16

CharlieeB

Original post by TorpidPhil

Its not "toe tipping" around issues. Being concerned about your loved one's health or mental well-being is a different issue to; you're fat so you're ugly and I'm not attracted to you any more.

Different things. If you love someone why would you want to hurt/upset them? And if you are in a relationship for any other reason besides this you need to rethink your life. :noway:

Reply 17

JunkoR.

Original post by RoyalMarine

I would dump her. I have an athletic body and abs, I deserve hot girls.

You deserve a plastic

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Reply 18

SweatyColon

Trail of sweets which lead outside the door and then lock it when they follow the trail. Thank me later OP.

Reply 19

TorpidPhil

Original post by CharlieeB

Fair point. Removing the health thing from gaining weight would make me much less willing to raise the topic.

I probably still would though, but then I would for fashion, or if her new hairstyle was not up to scratch and so on. I'm just rather vain that way and also quite a perfectionist. Wouldn't want to be doing myself up and having a girlfriend that looks like she can't be bothered washed her face every day.