Thinking about going to see an escort

I am 18 and have never had a girlfriend and have never even kissed a girl. My social life is non-existent at the minute and I can be really shy and socially awkward at times. I start uni in September and want to have had at least some experience with women before I go. I am thinking about going to a nearby city and booking an escort for a few hours. What do you think about the idea? If you think I should do it do you have any tips for the night, e.g. what I should and shouldn't do etc.

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Reply 1

connor-96

Original post by theo1jinx

I know you don't want to hear that it's not a big deal to be a virgin, so I'm just going to say that you shouldn't see a prostitute because you're worried that girls don't like you because you're a virgin. If you do it, do it for you, not for them.

It's not creepy, you're just horny, it's totally natural. I'm just not sure the feeling of inadequacy you have can be solved by seeing a prostitute. If you're uncomfortable about girls not finding you attractive, how does seeing a hooker help? She's paid...so I don't see how you get validated by her having sex with you. She basically HAS to sleep with you, whether she finds you attractive or not.

Just try and relax. I know it seems like everyone can tell, but they really can't. It's nothing to be ashamed of, really, and it doesn't mean you're not attractive.

I'm a girl, so I have zero experience with prostitutes, but from what you've said, I just don't think it will make you feel better. If you think you're unattractive (and trust me, you're not, your prose is too telling for that), I think finding a girl to be in a relationship with, who sleeps with you because she likes or even loves you, will make you feel much better than finding a hooker.

Thanks for your advice. Going to see an escort will also be about helping me be more comfortable around women because I am quite shy and can be quite awkward around women so it's not all about losing my virginity.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by connor-96

Would not recommend. You will feel empty and worse after. It's very artificial.

Reply 3

Zechs

Original post by theo1jinx

I'm a girl, so I have zero experience with prostitutes, but from what you've said, I just don't think it will make you feel better. If you think you're unattractive (and trust me, you're not, your prose is too telling for that), I think finding a girl to be in a relationship with, who sleeps with you because she likes or even loves you, will make you feel much better than finding a hooker.

She basically HAS to sleep with you, whether she finds you attractive or not.<<< No she does not even a hooker can say no to you.

I'm a girl, so I have zero experience with prostitutes<<<< You are a girl who has zero experience with prostitutes and who lost her virginity to a hooker? Even though you have the male sex sign on your name?

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 4

Zarek

I would say don't do it. The sex will be **** and the fact the girl doesn't actually want to have sex with you counts for a lot - it's only really losing your virginity if there is mutual desire in my book. 18 is ridiculously young to get so depressed and frustrated that you resort to this. I was 22 before I touched a boob and things blossomed thereafter. Work on getting a proper relationship.

Reply 5

SceneKid17

Dont do it! you'll regret

Reply 6

lilymoran

Like anything else, practice makes perfect. You need to practise your social skills with women ie join clubs where you will meet them. Then you can talk to them on topics of mutual interest and gradually develop a relationship.

Paying for an escort will not help you to gain confidence with women at all. It will only confirm you in your already strange ideas about them. Women are real people, you know, like you. Would you pay someone to be your friend? Probably not because it wouldn't answer - nor will paying an escort help you to relate to women.

It is worrying that you have such a 'mechanical' attitude to women that you think it will. It will only confirm you in your negative ideas. Do you not know or care that many of these women have been traficked? Does it not bother you that you will effectively be using the power of her pimp to enable you to force yourself on her? Not many women would contemplate having a relationship with a man who has paid for sex because they have the imagination to understand just how awful it is often for the woman.

Think if this comes out in the future with a woman who you want to have serious relationship with, you may have shot yourself well and truly in the foot. It is your lack of sympathy or empathy , I would guess that is proving the obstacle to your having successful relationships with women.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 7

Josb

Original post by connor-96

Wait for your fresher weeks. :tongue:

Reply 8

Zarek

Original post by Josb

Wait for your fresher weeks. :tongue:

Mind you, I found this a water water everywhere, but not a drop to drink experience.. But it was fun.

Reply 9

connor-96

Original post by pickup

Like anything else, practice makes perfect. You need to practise your social skills with women ie join clubs where you will meet them. Then you can talk to them on topics of mutual interest and gradually develop a relationship.

Paying for an escort will not help you to gain confidence with women at all. It will only confirm you in your already strange ideas about them. Women are real people, you know, like you. Would you pay someone to be your friend? Probably not because it wouldn't answer - nor will paying an escort help you to relate to women.

It is worrying that you have such a 'mechanical' attitude to women that you think it will. It will only confirm you in your negative ideas. Do you not know or care that many of these women have been traficked? Does it not bother you that you are effectively be using the power of her pimp to enable you to force yourself on her? Not many women would contemplate having a relationship with a man who has paid for sex because they have the imagination to understand just how awful it is often for the woman.

Think if this comes out in the future with a woman who you want to have serious relationship with, you may have shot yourself well and truly in the foot. It is your lack of sympathy or empathy , I would guess that is proving the obstacle to your having successful relationships with women.

I don't have a "mechanical" attitude to women nor do I have a lack of sympathy or empathy. The escort will be about me becoming more comfortable around women because I am shy. It is not just about losing my virginity.

Reply 10

Profesh

Original post by theo1jinx

I'm a girl, so I have zero experience with prostitutes

Original post by theo1jinx

I lost my virginity to a hooker too and I cant say I'm proud for it.

Experienced or not, you may wish to consider practising psychiatrists.

Reply 11

lilymoran

Original post by connor-96

To improve shyness you need to practise your social skills. There is no other way.

Going to see an escort is the antithesis to developing your social skills. It will not help you be more comfortable around women because it is teaching you to treat them disrespectfully and that you don't need to make any social effort.( precisely the problem you have.)

I repeat, the very fact that you are contemplating going to an escort shows the extent of your problem - that you think there is a quick fix to be had rather than that you need to alter yourself and be genuine in your attitude towards women. You will be making things worse not better.

Reply 12

*Dreaming*

Original post by connor-96

You're 18 and a virgin, so what? Despite what you may think, there are a significant number of 18 years olds with no sexual experience. I was one of them.

Don't get a prostitute just because you want experience with women before uni. This sounds like maybe you are worried about being a virgin due to what girls may think? From a female perspective, knowing a guy has been with a hooker is a bigger turn off than him being a virgin.

If you want to do it, then who are we to stop you? But I can promise you that doing it won't make you feel more experienced or attractive- you will still be the same the next day, just with the knowledge of how it feels to be inside a woman's vagina. That, and your wallet will be a lot lighter.

And fyi- you don't really have to do a lot. I think she does the majority of it- it's her job afterall.

Reply 13

lucy-96

I would personally say don't do it and wait, plenty of people at uni are virgins. You just need to talk to women more which should be easier for you when you start uni.
If you do decide to do it then I would just say use protection and make sure the person you contact is actually the person they say they are.

Reply 14

connor-96

I' still unsure on whether or not to see one because the cost isn't that bad I can get one for around £120 an hour and was thinking about getting one for 2 hours but I am still unsure if I will regret it or not. What are some more opinions on whether or not I should go and see one and why?

Reply 15

Europhile

If you're going to do it, then do it. It's hardly crime of the century and people do it all the time.

Reply 16

InnateRambler

At the end of the day it would be up to you, nobody can stop you (unless no escort is willing).

I'm also incredibly awkward and girls/women always have been, despite having being with or just known said women I'll still be awkward around them, its just a thing. It's nothing to be ashamed of, I still feel awkward with my female friends who I have known for years, I've even felt awkward when in a relationship! Eventually I kind learnt to block out my internal screaming during social interactions of any sort, but nothing terrifies me more then a girl/woman saying 'Hey' to me, I just freeze up and turn into a stuttering idiot, I get better the more I talk but that awkwardness will always be there, its just your shyness/anxiety and its a part of who you are, its never going to leave you I'm afraid. Trust me I know.

As others have said seeing an escort why maybe a experience, enjoyable and help you feel better about yourself, it would only be in the short term as it is a business and you are their client, it would generally be a 'fake' scenario compared to what you would be faced with usually. It would also take more than a few hours with an escort willing to accept your money to get over your social anxiety with that one woman, never mind any others.

You may be feeling sexually frustrated or just overthink what it will actually be like etc, I feel I can safely say that in the 'moment', it becomes a very natural thing that your rarely actually need to think about, if you get to that stage with any girl/woman your awkwardness tends to break (if your like me however you'll spend too much time feeling awkward afterwards).

I hope this gives you an answer other than 'don't worry about being a virgin' as I understand its not all about that (but everybody else is right, not having had sex by 18 is not the end of world, I only stated actually in university, sex came about a year later, so you don't need an escort for that reason either).

If you want to go see an escort but are trying to justify it to yourself and others, then you already made your decision. If your genuinely asking, I hope I've helped with giving you some answers.

Reply 17

connor-96

Original post by InnateRambler

Thanks for your advice, it has helped. I still haven't decided if I am going to see one or not but your advice has been helpful.

Reply 18

LTG

Paying a woman to have sex with you will not improve your confidence it will just make you feel worst. Start talking to girls and eventually it will happen.

Reply 19

InnateRambler

Original post by connor-96

Thanks for your advice, it has helped. I still haven't decided if I am going to see one or not but your advice has been helpful.

I'm glad you think so :smile:

, if its okay I'll just add a bit more (sorry).

Honestly you probably won't feel much different afterwards if you do, especially in the long-run (I'd be surprised if you did), I'm also just thinking you can probably spend that money on something else.

I think you feel a much greater sense of personal growth and achievement if you don't go see an escort, because even if you get that short-term 'boost' after seeing one, you'll feel even worse if you get knocked by down again. I used to think about to, a lot, but I'm glad I never did as I would of realised I didn't need to.

I also didn't see that you were starting university soon, I'd be surprised if you didn't come out of university with at least one good relationship, as it is a place you will grow and mature the most in terms of social skills and anxiety, and its not all about sex for everybody so don't be thinking about escorts because of that, some people are rampant bunnies yeah, but this is because they are experiencing it themselves for the first time also), university is a place to gain experience in all things, academically, socially, romantically, personally.. I think your wrong to think you need to experience with women prior to this, I never did and I've developed in a lot ways while being there, just ignore that voice in your head that tells you what other people or thinking, its wrong and your own worst enemy.

I think your not thinking about it just as a physical need which I admire, your thinking of trying to overcome your social anxieties, I'd recommend not going to see an escort, go to university, meet people on your course, in societies (join societies!, I waited too long to do that and regretted letting my anxiety stopping me from going to any in the beginning) and you will genuinely feel more confident talking to people (women included) and more than likely develop a romantic relationship at some point during your degree.