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I'm sexually harassing my male teachers?

Not sure if this is the right place, but the other day a female teacher came up to me and told me that my low cut vest top wasn't appropriate for school (I'm in sixth form so no uniform). She told me that she could see my bra and cleavage and that it could be seen that I was harassing male teachers and making them feel uncomfortable by wearing revealing clothes. I had no idea that my clothes would be seen as revealing and am now really self conscious about what I wear. Am I really harassing men by showing my bra/cleavage?!

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Reply 1
Avatar for grapes12
grapes12
8
No. The teacher that told you this is bang out of order. Men should be able to control themselves, who cares if you've got a bra strap out? We all wear them, does that make us sexual harassers? No it doesn't.
Someone in my school was wearing a baggy jumper which just ended where the trousers started on the hip. When she bent over to pick up a cable she dropped, you could see her lower back. She got sent to isolation for it. Schools nowadays are ridiculous and I often find that teachers will be wearing clothes more outrageous than we do! The length of a teachers skirt a week ago had the most exposed girls shocked, and did she get told off? No she didn't.
bottom line is, if your male teachers can not control themselves around children then they deserve to be in a prison. Wearing a top with cleavage exposed is not sexual harassment, provocative or "asking for it" in anyway. Its your actions that determine these, not your clothes.
Reply 2
Avatar for Ndella
Ndella
18
Nope. If the teachers feel "offended", it's their problem. They shouldn't be looking at students that way anyway.
Nope your not, they shouldn't be thinking like that in the first place, they need to control how they think and feel I guess:smile:
Original post by grapes12
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Original post by Ndella
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Original post by Khadijah489
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I feel like y'all know some magic way to just "turn off the sexual attraction part of your brain temporarily"...

I just don't see the why the OP needs to wear the clothes she does. Does it not just make a difficult and underpaid job more difficult for no reason at all?
Reply 5
Avatar for grapes12
grapes12
8
Original post by TorpidPhil
I feel like y'all know some magic way to just "turn off the sexual attraction part of your brain temporarily"...

I just don't see the why the OP needs to wear the clothes she does. Does it not just make a difficult and underpaid job more difficult for no reason at all?


Why would it be difficult? If you were walking around exposed im sure girls would have the decency to give you some self respect. At the end of the day she was not walking around naked, she was wearing clothes which covered up. I wear cleavage tops all the time, it doesn't mean im begging for sex now is it?
Sexual harassment is a verbal or physical thing. It is not whether you decided to wear a low cut top that day or not.
Its people like you who encourage rape culture.
As there are no uniform rules, they had no right to say that to you. You should put in a complaint.
I deffo agree with you on that, in my opinion I don't think she was doing any harm
Original post by grapes12
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Original post by Ndella
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Original post by Khadijah489
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What a load of crap.

OP you should be wearing suitable attire to school and you know it. Sexual harassment doesn't mean something has to be acted on. Oh, and for the record, it's likely that a female teacher said something to you because it's been brought up during staff briefings or departmental meetings and numerous male teachers feel uncomfortable with both the way you dress and go about doing things. Sorry, but in this world, teachers, especially male ones, will do whatever they can to put as much distance between them and the students as possible to avoid becoming the next person accused of something. Sad, but that is the country we live in. A country whereby now you even look at someone the wrong way and all hell breaks loose.

Honestly, if you are dressing in such a manner, those higher up in the school should be sending you home until you turn up to school in appropriate clothing.
Original post by grapes12
Why would it be difficult? If you were walking around exposed im sure girls would have the decency to give you some self respect. At the end of the day she was not walking around naked, she was wearing clothes which covered up. I wear cleavage tops all the time, it doesn't mean im begging for sex now is it?
Sexual harassment is a verbal or physical thing. It is not whether you decided to wear a low cut top that day or not.
Its people like you who encourage rape culture.


Jumping to extremes much?

I said it just makes it more difficult than it needs to be. It's just awkward for no good reason.

I'm obviously not saying it's justified for him to make a move on her just because of the clothes she wears lol...

Some 16 year olds are ****ing sl000ts though and they just make people's lives miserable for no reason other than themselves getting a small high off of teasing people.
Original post by TorpidPhil
Jumping to extremes much?

I said it just makes it more difficult than it needs to be. It's just awkward for no good reason.

I'm obviously not saying it's justified for him to make a move on her just because of the clothes she wears lol...

Some 16 year olds are ****ing sl000ts though and they just make people's lives miserable for no reason other than themselves getting a small high off of teasing people.


I can understand what you are saying if the girl was promiscuous and causing trouble, but it sounds like the thread starter was minding her own business before being approached like that. I think its wrong, its not as if she was indecently exposed, she just had a bit of cleavage out and it is perfectly normal for girls to dress like this. It is not promiscuous at all.
Original post by TorpidPhil
I feel like y'all know some magic way to just "turn off the sexual attraction part of your brain temporarily"...
I just don't see the why the OP needs to wear the clothes she does. Does it not just make a difficult and underpaid job more difficult for no reason at all?


Funnily enough yes, that's exactly what you can, and should do.
I work in a school for kids with moderate to severe learning disabilities, and I've had a similar discussion with the psychologist there who teaches Sex Ed. It is hard because the children often lack the ability to dissociate themselves from sexual stimuli, whereas the rest of us can. So yes, a professional teacher should prevent himself from being too aroused by some cleavage. :rolleyes:

Unless you cannot?
Original post by grapes12
I can understand what you are saying if the girl was promiscuous and causing trouble, but it sounds like the thread starter was minding her own business before being approached like that. I think its wrong, its not as if she was indecently exposed, she just had a bit of cleavage out and it is perfectly normal for girls to dress like this. It is not promiscuous at all.


Not saying she's evil or immoral for it. Maybe she doesn't realise how attractive she looks when dressed like that. I mean, obviously she knows it's attractive which is why she does, but maybe she doesn't quite appreciate how awkward it can be for sex deprived 40 year old men :tongue:

If several other male teachers have raised the issue as I assume they have then she probably is dressing inappropriately and I really do not think getting rid of her liberty to dress in such a way is that much of a loss for the reduction in general awkwardness tbh.
Original post by Twinpeaks
Funnily enough yes, that's exactly what you can, and should do.
I work in a school for kids with moderate to severe learning disabilities, and I've had a similar discussion with the psychologist there who teaches Sex Ed. It is hard because the children often lack the ability to dissociate themselves from sexual stimuli, whereas the rest of us can. So yes, a professional teacher should prevent himself from being too aroused by some cleavage. :rolleyes:

Unless you cannot?


No, not really. I mean, obviously I can actively distract my mind, but it requires me to actively constantly do that. That's mental effort far better to spent elsewhere. I mean, it's not like I just flick a mental switch and then I can stop worrying about it - I make myself asexual for 8hours and then go back to being sexual again afterwards.

It's actually something that deeply annoys me because it's just not explicit arousal that causes problems from this, but it also causes a lot of prejudice and biases and irrational thinking.
Where what ever the **** you want to wear. She is not your mum to be making comments about the way you dress and besides teachers should not be looking at you in that type of way anyway, and if they are thats not on you, its on them. men need to control themselves!
That female teacher is so in the wrong, it aint her place to be making comments about you.

You are not sexually harassing anyone. Wear what you want
I don't think it is "sexual harassment", however, I think the school is within their rights to ask you to dress professionally and appropriately for school.
Original post by Twinpeaks
Funnily enough yes, that's exactly what you can, and should do.
I work in a school for kids with moderate to severe learning disabilities, and I've had a similar discussion with the psychologist there who teaches Sex Ed. It is hard because the children often lack the ability to dissociate themselves from sexual stimuli, whereas the rest of us can. So yes, a professional teacher should prevent himself from being too aroused by some cleavage. :rolleyes:

Unless you cannot?


I couldn't agree more

Original post by TorpidPhil
Not saying she's evil or immoral for it. Maybe she doesn't realise how attractive she looks when dressed like that. I mean, obviously she knows it's attractive which is why she does, but maybe she doesn't quite appreciate how awkward it can be for sex deprived 40 year old men :tongue:

If several other male teachers have raised the issue as I assume they have then she probably is dressing inappropriately and I really do not think getting rid of her liberty to dress in such a way is that much of a loss for the reduction in general awkwardness tbh.


Who says she dresses that way to feel attractive? I know from my own experience that my mornings are so rushed I pick up the first thing I see and put it on, sometimes I look awful and sometimes I look decent. A lot of my clothes are low cut and this is just the type I wear, I find it comfy and especially during the summer (I live in Germany) it is extremely hot, so I would not want to be wearing turtlenecks. Everyone has their own individual style and what they feel comfortable wearing it doesn't mean that it is promiscuous in any way and professional teachers should be able to control themselves.
Original post by Twinpeaks
Funnily enough yes, that's exactly what you can, and should do.
I work in a school for kids with moderate to severe learning disabilities, and I've had a similar discussion with the psychologist there who teaches Sex Ed. It is hard because the children often lack the ability to dissociate themselves from sexual stimuli, whereas the rest of us can. So yes, a professional teacher should prevent himself from being too aroused by some cleavage. :rolleyes:

Unless you cannot?


You can't be held to account for your thoughts though. Whether or not you find someone attractive is instinctive, and involuntary.

It's whether those thoughts are acted on in any way that causes problems. Imo, provided teachers (whatever gender) always act appropriately around their students it shouldn't be an issue.
Your teacher sounds slightly strange...
I agree with the teacher. It's implied not to go to school dressed inappropriately.

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