Family dilemma? No idea what to do

I'll try and sum up everything as swiftly as I can but its still probably going to be a long post, so I'll apologise in advance!

Basically, I'm a 19 year old girl, living at home with my dad. Mum and sad split up when I was 16 and since then I've hardly seen my mam, considering she lives 10 minutes away. I literally came home from school one day, during my GCSE exams and she was gone. There in the morning, poof by night. Maybe she forgot to tell me she had a new house. She hasn't supported me in any way aside from putting money towards a car for my birthday, aside from that, my dads paid for everything else in supporting me, as well as paying loads of money towards divorce settlements and such. A lot of stuffs gone on between her, my dad and me and I'm not really sure what to do anymore. Me and her are complete opposites and we don't get on for most of the time. If we're together we either don't speak or we end up arguing, it's not great.

When I was 17, my dad told me that one of the main reasons my parent split up was because my mum had been married before she met my dad, she also had a baby boy who will be about 14 years older than me, I think. He always said that I have the right to know about not being an only child but she always failed to tell me about him. Either way, a couple of months ago I found loads of papers in a drawer about him and thought it was a good time to bring it up to mam. So when I did, she didn't know what to say and she pretty much expected me to get over it because "it's in the past." That was the tipping point of our relationship.

The second reason we aren't close is because of her drinking. She's always drunk excessive amounts of alcohol, but no one would know or believe it. It's not like she would be out every night, it was just her drinking alone in the house watching TV. The problem was that it wouldn't just be one or two drinks, it was always one or two bottles. She'd hide alcohol from me and dad, top bottles up with water etc, she also got really verbally aggressive towards dad when drunk and it caused a lot of problems. She made promise after promise to me, knowing how much it hurt me and she still doesn't think she's done anything wrong. She makes out as if I'm the ****ty daughter and she's an amazing woman, and people seem to have that idea that I'm the one in the wrong, and it's not like I can prove myself to any of her friends, mainly because I'm really quiet compared to mum and they wouldn't believe me anyways. tonight is the third night in a row that she's called me up and can barely make out a decent sentence and it's not really fun having to talk to someone like that all the time.

The third reason is that back in November, mum had gone on holiday with a "woman from work, who had family out over there." When she'd got home from her holiday, she had told me that she hadn't gone away with a woman from work, she had gone away with her boyfriend to meet his family, who she had been seeing for the past 9 months. She told me that the reason she never said she was seeing anyone was because she didn't know if it was going to work out, I'm thinking after nine months you're going to have a fairly decent idea on whether things are going alright or not. Anyway, he proposed to her when they were away and she said yes. Keeping in mind that he is 36, the age gap between me and him is exactly the same as it is between him and my mum.

After all all the lies, the secrecy, the arguing, I can't even look at her in the eye anymore. She's planning on moving away soon halfway up the country, so I likely won't see her much at all. I have two questions,
1, should I go to the wedding? Even though I feel completely uncomfortable about the whole situation,
2, should I stay in contact with her? I don't want to, and as awful as it sounds, I'm past caring. I don't want to be around this woman anymore, I honestly don't but she's still my mother. I really don't know what to do.

Sorry about the length of the post, just I haven't spoken to anyone about any of this as I'm really quite embarrassed about all that's gone on, so I guess having varied opinions from people who don't know me/mum will be much appreciated. Thank you. and if you've got to the end of this post, thank you for reading it!!

Honestly even though i can totally understand why your past caring, I personally think you should go to the wedding, even if that means turning up for 10 mins, because she could always use that against you in the future if you dont go maybe, hopefully not but better safe than sorry.
If you want to cut her off, then that's up to you but she is your mum,i think you should contact her atleast once a year just to quickyl catch up, you be the bigger woman!
Goodluck and honestly there's nothing to be ashamed of, not everything always works out great and that's ok!

I am just going to say it. Her mother is a selfish, alcoholic, whore. The company her mother keeps doesn't seem to be much better. She shouldn't have anything to do with her. I think she needs to get angry at her "mother" and tell her where to go. Then from this point of emotion realise she will be in a better oposition to move forward. Just make sure her "mother" doesn't make it about her. This will involved emotional, verbal and physical intimidation of your "mother". Can you do this?

Personally that's what i would do, although I'm sure i would have told her to f*** off earlier in the stage
It's my opinion and what I would do if i was in her shoes, she doesn't have to take it if she doesn't want to

I'll try and sum up everything as swiftly as I can but its still probably going to be a long post, so I'll apologise in advance!

Basically, I'm a 19 year old girl, living at home with my dad. Mum and sad split up when I was 16 and since then I've hardly seen my mam, considering she lives 10 minutes away. I literally came home from school one day, during my GCSE exams and she was gone. There in the morning, poof by night. Maybe she forgot to tell me she had a new house. She hasn't supported me in any way aside from putting money towards a car for my birthday, aside from that, my dads paid for everything else in supporting me, as well as paying loads of money towards divorce settlements and such. A lot of stuffs gone on between her, my dad and me and I'm not really sure what to do anymore. Me and her are complete opposites and we don't get on for most of the time. If we're together we either don't speak or we end up arguing, it's not great.

When I was 17, my dad told me that one of the main reasons my parent split up was because my mum had been married before she met my dad, she also had a baby boy who will be about 14 years older than me, I think. He always said that I have the right to know about not being an only child but she always failed to tell me about him. Either way, a couple of months ago I found loads of papers in a drawer about him and thought it was a good time to bring it up to mam. So when I did, she didn't know what to say and she pretty much expected me to get over it because "it's in the past." That was the tipping point of our relationship.

The second reason we aren't close is because of her drinking. She's always drunk excessive amounts of alcohol, but no one would know or believe it. It's not like she would be out every night, it was just her drinking alone in the house watching TV. The problem was that it wouldn't just be one or two drinks, it was always one or two bottles. She'd hide alcohol from me and dad, top bottles up with water etc, she also got really verbally aggressive towards dad when drunk and it caused a lot of problems. She made promise after promise to me, knowing how much it hurt me and she still doesn't think she's done anything wrong. She makes out as if I'm the ****ty daughter and she's an amazing woman, and people seem to have that idea that I'm the one in the wrong, and it's not like I can prove myself to any of her friends, mainly because I'm really quiet compared to mum and they wouldn't believe me anyways. tonight is the third night in a row that she's called me up and can barely make out a decent sentence and it's not really fun having to talk to someone like that all the time.

The third reason is that back in November, mum had gone on holiday with a "woman from work, who had family out over there." When she'd got home from her holiday, she had told me that she hadn't gone away with a woman from work, she had gone away with her boyfriend to meet his family, who she had been seeing for the past 9 months. She told me that the reason she never said she was seeing anyone was because she didn't know if it was going to work out, I'm thinking after nine months you're going to have a fairly decent idea on whether things are going alright or not. Anyway, he proposed to her when they were away and she said yes. Keeping in mind that he is 36, the age gap between me and him is exactly the same as it is between him and my mum.

After all all the lies, the secrecy, the arguing, I can't even look at her in the eye anymore. She's planning on moving away soon halfway up the country, so I likely won't see her much at all. I have two questions,
1, should I go to the wedding? Even though I feel completely uncomfortable about the whole situation,
2, should I stay in contact with her? I don't want to, and as awful as it sounds, I'm past caring. I don't want to be around this woman anymore, I honestly don't but she's still my mother. I really don't know what to do.

Sorry about the length of the post, just I haven't spoken to anyone about any of this as I'm really quite embarrassed about all that's gone on, so I guess having varied opinions from people who don't know me/mum will be much appreciated. Thank you. and if you've got to the end of this post, thank you for reading it!!

Also what is the point of these smiley faces and meaningless replies people post. I have seen hundreds of these threads, people being bullied, people with family or relationship problems. In each one I see these same stupid posts. People offer no advice to the OP, just a bunch of generic words of tripe.

But she doesn't want our subjective opinions from her shoes. He wants an objective opinion on what she can do to improve her position.

Well then can you tell her how to tell her "mother" duck off? Tell her what the repercussions of such an action could be. Tell her what benefits you see from such an action.

Yh she asked what she should do meaning, she want people's opinions that she might take as advice
Smiling is probably the best thing she needs right now, if you don't agree with it then fine but that was pointless to say
Just saying

Well its my opinion,
And i can never tell someone to tell their mum/dad/ whatever to f*** off, Its up to them what they want to say, I dont want to influence people to swear at their parents no matter how much of a bit*h they are

The goal should be never to give people what they want. Rather what they never thought they needed. People need advice, even if they don't seek it.

Why can't you tell someone to swear? If that is what will help the person you should them to do it. Of course it is up to them what they want to say, but your advice may cause them to chance where, when and how they say it.

Omg. Well my opinion AND advice would be that.
She can take it if she likes but she doesn't have to

I can tell someone to swear at anything and everything excluding parents, for me, I believe that's not something I have a right to say in, i won't influence people to swear at parents, Its not my position to