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Girls, is men being shy a turn off?

I ask because I consider myself to be a shy person and wondered if girls find it to a turn off or something they don't mind? I'm the kind of person that wouldn't speak in front of everyone but if its just me and her then I feel I can come out more of my shell.

I am not the most confident person but I know I'm a caring nice person and I consider myself to be a good looking guy.

Interested to know girls opinions on this?

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Reply 1

channies

I'm kind of the same in big groups and find it easier to be with just one or two people, but I don't think it matters as long as me and him could talk on our own. It's not a turn off

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Reply 2

grozdeto

Big turn off especially for loud and crazy chicks.

Reply 3

lustawny

Some girls like it, some girls don't.

I think quite a lot of girls are attracted to confidence in a guy, though.

Reply 4

SceneKid17

Aww I find it kinda cute tbh. Guys who talk a lot can get annoying at times especially the ones who think they know everything and are super good looking! like get over yourself!

kinda cute actually

Original post by Anonymous

I actually find it quite adorable/ endearing when a guy is shy.

Reply 7

King Leonidas

'Cute'

The one word the OP did not want to hear haha.

Reply 8

katiiiiie

It depends on the person. I don't particularly mind guys that don't speak much in front of people but at the same time I feel it can be quite difficult to get to know them in a group setting if they are not up for talking. I think I am more attracted to guys who can confidently speak in front of others.

Reply 9

emilym80

Not at all, as long as you're a nice person (some people who are a bit shy can come across as standoffish, etc).

I'd much prefer a guy who is nice to someone who is particularly outgoing. Don't worry about it too much :smile:

Reply 10

username1445222

Personally it would be a turn off. I have nothing against shy people, I was really shy when I was younger and understandably it's not that easy for everyone to break free from their comfort zone but I would feel a little uncomfortable with dating a shy person. It's all good and well that you're fine one on one but what about at parties? I don't want to be all worried that you're just going to sit in a corner and not socialise because then I feel like that I would get overbearing trying to get you to socialise in a large group when you don't want to. It would end badly. Confidence is really attractive, being able to easily go up to someone and strike up a conversation or volunteering to speak up in front of a crowd of strangers... wow :sexface:

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Reply 11

Atreus

I'm not a girl but it's no secret that women are attracted to confidence In a man, being shy is pretty much the opposite of being confident. Not just in regards to public speaking but also in ability to make a move etc. Being shy can hold you back quite a bit.

There are plenty of girls that would go for the shy guy though, especially if your above average, it will be harder to find them though.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 12

JSPalmer

The best bit of advice when it comes to attraction is to for the most part ignore the advice of females. They usually just tell you what you want to hear and prefer to keep the nice shy guys around as a friend or a shoulder to cry on when her latest typical lad love interest has inevitably cheated.

Most women want a confident alpha male. Nice, shy guys come across as dull to women who want a challenge. It's all good telling you to 'be confident' but at the end of the day girls can tell when a guy has natural confidence or 'that aura'.

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

I'm a guy but I can tell you you're basically screwed if you're a shy quiet kind of a guy as the above two posters have essentially relayed. Sure some shy guys do get girls, quite probably not the ones they wanted just whatever slim pickings are going, so scrapping the bottom of the barrel here, odd few shy guys get lucky of course, but percentagewise this is real small.

Girls basically equate a confident guy with potential, both socially and career wise. Sure he may start of doing some ****e job but so long as he's not a total tosser he could stand a good chance of impressing and moving up the career ladder. I have to admit that even as a straight guy, confident guys come across better visually (not looks wise but in speaking/communicating to others), socially and perhaps charisma/likeability/appeal call it what you will.

Odds are though and I have found this ever time that as the saying goes, 'empty vessels make the most noise' in other words they are all, mouth, mouth, mouth and often know little of any substance or use to anyone. Sometimes the more extreme and perhaps annoying, mouth, mouth, mouth they are the less they know or depth they have, essentially they are just blowhards. Don't underestimate the power of being this though its what often makes up a first impression and many people just see it at face view, 'there confident, hey they MUST know what their talking about - er, no' but many if not all around them are convinced and find them convincing so this is all that counts.

Conversely, if a girl sees you as shy or unconfident even though you may be an expert and excel in what you do she won't see this just the visual of a timid, unconfident and hence weak individual not capable of anything. Once you are sterotyped as something its a bitch to shift the label, so this is one you want to avoid as best you can. Women will equate shyness with low earning potential and ability to get on career wise and will pass you over for someone with a bit of gob, their mistake but one they make time and again, just their preference I guess.

Reply 14

Lisagurlxx

hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng (srs) :sexface:

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Can a guy be attractive and quietly confident? I don't care about showing off or being the centre of attention. I personally feel most people that talks louds just talk about yourself and don't actually notice everyone around them.

As a quiet person I look at each person and see who is okay/interesting to talk and who isn't. I also respect other shy people if I see them and find them easiest to approach.

To be fair if I wasn't good looking i would find it much harder to pull girls but the type I get coming up to me are not the type you want bring homw to my mother.

Reply 16

dyslexicvegie

Kind of 'cute'. As long as ur approachable.

kum ba ya my lord

It might as well be. Don't listen to anyone on here (male or female) who says it isn't. Some may find it endearing but no way it is a turn on that's for sure.