The Student Room Group

Am I homophobic?

Ok so I never opposed gay marriage and I convinced my self that I didn't have a problem with the homos at all but today i went to the coffee shop with a friend of mine and a gay couple sat near us and started making out. Although I always thought I was open minded with the whole homosexuality thing, I felt really uncomfortable and wanted to leave, it kinda grossed me out, not gonna lie..
I have a friend who is gay and we get along together but i wouldn't want to be near him when he is with his BF..
Do I have the problem or are many people like me?

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Original post by theo1jinx
Ok so I never opposed gay marriage and I convinced my self that I didn't have a problem with the homos at all but today i went to the coffee shop with a friend of mine and a gay couple sat near us and started making out. Although I always thought I was open minded with the whole homosexuality thing, I felt really uncomfortable and wanted to leave, it kinda grossed me out, not gonna lie..
I have a friend who is gay and we get along together but i wouldn't want to be near him when he is with his BF..
Do I have the problem or are many people like me?


hmm...do you think It was the fact it was two men that was making you uncomfortable, or just the fact people were making out in front of you? Maybe it's just that seeing other people expressing public displays of affection makes you feel uncomfortable regardless of whether it was men or not...quite a lot of people feel uncomfortable with that haha
Reply 3
Original post by VeroniqueHawky
hmm...do you think It was the fact it was two men that was making you uncomfortable, or just the fact people were making out in front of you? Maybe it's just that seeing other people expressing public displays of affection makes you feel uncomfortable regardless of whether it was men or not...quite a lot of people feel uncomfortable with that haha

No I dont, have problem of the opposite gender making out. It's the first time I come across of homosexual people doing that and I really didn't think that I would have an issue with that but it turns out that I do. :/
Reply 4

Mordecai legend
Not exactly homophobic, everyone is allowed to dislike certain things and if you don't like it, simple, as long as you don't hate on them it's fine to not like it.
I can somewhat relate.

I have no problems with gay people, period. Though what annoys me are the homosexuals who try to prove they are gay and will flame up they are gay even though people are aware of it. One gay guy the other day on Facebook posted a newsfeed on his Facebook how Harvard did a study on how homophobic people are gay. Seriously who the F*ck cares, it's like he's asking for a debate.

Another one that annoyed me is how some (not all..) gay people joke around with sexual jokes most of the freaking time which make me feel uncomfortable personally. I was working at a restaurant once and one gay guy with his boyfriend (no problem with that) asked for a chicken wrap with extra mayo and peanut sauce while licking his lips along with a creepy laugh.

Besides that though gay people are alright. Some are really cool inspiring people I've met in my life so far.

What I'm saying is, just because you're gay don't try and prove it by going through huge lengths. Not all people are going to take it lightly.
I find gay people kissing in public disgusting, in fact I find anybody kissing in public disgusting. Maybe I should move to Dubai, you should too.
Not necessarily. If I see anyone in a public place, gay or otherwise, making out, especially next to us, I also feel uncomfortable. Especially if it's not just a few kisses but a whole makeout session. Just think it's inconsiderate to behave like that in a public place, regardless of gender(s).
Reply 9
Original post by Marshall Taylor
I find gay people kissing in public disgusting, in fact I find anybody kissing in public disgusting. Maybe I should move to Dubai, you should too.

Let's book the tickets
Reply 10
Original post by NeverTooLatte
Not necessarily. If I see anyone in a public place, gay or otherwise, making out, especially next to us, I also feel uncomfortable. Especially if it's not just a few kisses but a whole makeout session. Just think it's inconsiderate to behave like that in a public place, regardless of gender(s).

Good point
Original post by ifstatement
One gay guy the other day on Facebook posted a newsfeed on his Facebook how Harvard did a study on how homophobic people are gay. Seriously who the F*ck cares, it's like he's asking for a debate.


It's his Facebook and he should be allowed to post whatever he wants. Also if people don't constantly talk about it - it can lead to increased homophobia and quite frankly it makes me uncomfortable that you felt the post was over the top.

Original post by ifstatement

Another one that annoyed me is how some (not all..) gay people joke around with sexual jokes most of the freaking time which make me feel uncomfortable personally. I was working at a restaurant once and one gay guy with his boyfriend (no problem with that) asked for a chicken wrap with extra mayo and peanut sauce while licking his lips along with a creepy laugh.

So technically the gay man didn't verbally say anything sexual - he simply ordered a meal with a laugh possibly at an innuendo?

This next sentence isn't aimed at anyone on the thread: From my experience it's usually heterosexual white men making unnecessary sexual jokes aimed at girls rather than gay man. Generally speaking it's usually gay men and hetero women that have to deal with straight men in large groups being intimidating.
Original post by theo1jinx
Ok so I never opposed gay marriage and I convinced my self that I didn't have a problem with the homos at all but today i went to the coffee shop with a friend of mine and a gay couple sat near us and started making out. Although I always thought I was open minded with the whole homosexuality thing, I felt really uncomfortable and wanted to leave, it kinda grossed me out, not gonna lie..
I have a friend who is gay and we get along together but i wouldn't want to be near him when he is with his BF..
Do I have the problem or are many people like me?


I think it's okay to maybe feel not 100% comfortable with LGBT folk kissing in public - the fact that you've acknowledged that your mindset could be seen as homophobic is something you should be proud of.
I think as long as you just think it mentally and then afterwards just try to silently correct your thoughts and familiarise yourself with the fact that LGBT folk have the right to publicly show affection it's fine.

But if this develops and you start to verbally challenge those people, ask them to leave/stop, physically hurt them or use slur words... then it's not okay and that's definitely homophobic.

UPDATE: Also please don't shorten the term "homosexual" as it could be seen as hurtful if you said it aloud. "Gay" is appropriate.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by HannahMFO
I think it's okay to maybe feel not 100% comfortable with LGBT folk kissing in public - the fact that you've acknowledged that your mindset could be seen as homophobic is something you should be proud of.
I think as long as you just think it mentally and then afterwards just try to silently correct your thoughts and familiarise yourself with the fact that LGBT folk have the right to publicly show affection it's fine.

But if this develops and you start to verbally challenge those people, ask them to leave/stop, physically hurt them or use slur words... then it's not okay and that's definitely homophobic.

UPDATE: Also please don't shorten the term "homosexual" as it could be seen as hurtful if you said it aloud. "Gay" is appropriate.


Wait saying homo is an offensive term?
So saying no homo is offensive?
How offensive is it compared to say the N word or the short version of pakistani. The second being less offensive in my view than the first.
Reply 14
Original post by TheNoobishKnight
Wait saying homo is an offensive term?
So saying no homo is offensive?
How offensive is it compared to say the N word or the short version of pakistani. The second being less offensive in my view than the first.

Agreed. can't see what's offensive with that. Homo is short for homosexual. literally means that they like the same sex in Greek
Original post by HannahMFO
It's his Facebook and he should be allowed to post whatever he wants. Also if people don't constantly talk about it - it can lead to increased homophobia and quite frankly it makes me uncomfortable that you felt the post was over the top.


True it's his Facebook, doesn't mean everything he posts I'm going to be alright with... The one post in general was just irritating.

Also how hell does not talking about homosexuality lead to increased homophobia? Sources? Facts? Also I never said it was "uncomfortable" it was deemed annoying.

Original post by HannahMFO

So technically the gay man didn't verbally say anything sexual - he simply ordered a meal with a laugh possibly at an innuendo?

This next sentence isn't aimed at anyone on the thread: From my experience it's usually heterosexual white men making unnecessary sexual jokes aimed at girls rather than gay man. Generally speaking it's usually gay men and hetero women that have to deal with straight men in large groups being intimidating.


Oh would you shut up.

I'm tired of hearing women defending homosexuals like the actions they do isn't wrong, like it's some sort of mental illness and they can't help it. Gay people are the same as straight people, we are all the same and should be treated equally. Look if a gay guy I just barely met did a innuendo to me with food or anything, I'm straight I'm going to feel slight uncomfortable, period. Make an innuendo about drumstick legs to a female server, expect terrible service be labeled a pervert or at worst a slap in the face. However when a gay guy does it, "oh he's totally not a pervert and is amusing".

Apparently though everything homosexuals do no matter how uncomfortable it is they always get away with it and defended. I don't mind gay people, really. If you're gay though and the first thing you're going to do though is make innuendos or try proving your gay by rubbing it in my face we are not getting along. However, get to know me first and understand my personality and make a gay joke here or there I don't mind it, I will find it amusing and we will get along.
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 16
Agreed 100% most people don't get what equality means.
Original post by ifstatement
True it's his Facebook, doesn't mean everything he posts I'm going to be alright with... The one post in general was just irritating.

Also how hell does not talking about homosexuality lead to increased homophobia? Sources? Facts? Also I never said it was "uncomfortable" it was deemed annoying.



Oh would you shut up.

I'm tired of hearing women defending homosexuals like the actions they do isn't wrong, like it's some sort of mental illness and they can't help it. Gay people are the same as straight people, we are all the same and should be treated equally. Look if a gay guy I just barely met did a innuendo to me with food or anything, I'm straight I'm going to feel slight uncomfortable, period. Make an innuendo about drumstick legs to a female server, expect terrible service or at worst a slap in the face.

Apparently though everything homosexuals do no matter how uncomfortable it is they always get away with it and defended. I don't mind gay people, really. If you're gay though and the first thing you're going to do though is make innuendos or try proving your gay by rubbing it in my face we are not getting along. However, get to know me first and understand my personality and make a gay joke here or there I don't mind it, I will find it amusing and we will get along.
Reply 17
I remember when me and my girl was making out in public, it made a few people uncomfortable on the train, because they don't know where to look. No your not homophobic.
Original post by theo1jinx
Ok so I never opposed gay marriage and I convinced my self that I didn't have a problem with the homos at all but today i went to the coffee shop with a friend of mine and a gay couple sat near us and started making out. Although I always thought I was open minded with the whole homosexuality thing, I felt really uncomfortable and wanted to leave, it kinda grossed me out, not gonna lie..
I have a friend who is gay and we get along together but i wouldn't want to be near him when he is with his BF..
Do I have the problem or are many people like me?


Yes, it is homophobic. A lot of people who otherwise support gay marriage etc have this reaction because they aren't used to the sight of two men kissing at all. I mean, society isn't used to two men showing any kind of affection towards each other at all and obviously you did not grow up being used to seeing gay couples be affectionate, so you perceive it as strange. The more you become exposed to something, the more you see it as just ordinary. I mean if you sat down right now and watched all seasons of Queer as Folk and then went down to the pub and saw that couple kissing, you wouldn't think twice about it anymore. It's just that this isn't something you're used to. So it's not entirely you're fault that you feel this way, it's just how society shaped you.

At least you recognized that this could be homophobic thinking.

Most people would not realize their homophobia is their problem to overcome.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by TheNoobishKnight
Wait saying homo is an offensive term?

Some people find it offensive?

Original post by TheNoobishKnight
So saying no homo is offensive?
"No homo" is a stupid phrase that heterosexual men coined in order to avoid "appearing gay" suggesting that being gay is negative. "No Homo" is a pointless phrase said after men exchange natural non-homoerotic affection but because they're insecure in their sexuality they feel the need to say it rather than just let it be. So yes, no homo can be offensive.

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