Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Your experience on Tinder

I initially went on there for a laugh but iit seems that there are some guys who are serious about relationships and stuff. But, and cant believe im saying this but i have never been in a relationship or had a first kiss... im 19 by the way.

Call me old-fashioned but i prefer to meet guy in person before giving my number and going dates and whatnot. when i get a match and they reply i dont tend to reply back. not because i dont like them, just bcos i have this fear that if we do end up going out they will see me in real life and just walk away/it will be awkward...

I just want to read other people experience of it.

Reply 1

Matthew150

From my experience, a lot of conversations on Tinder have gone nowhere. But then you get talking to the one in 20 who seems really nice, and you seem to click.

Thus, I'm meeting them when I get back from university.

The way I see it, if it doesn't go anywhere, or it's awkward, you haven't lost anything at all. It's not like a ruined friendship or anything as you've never met them in person.

Or, it could be the start of something wonderful.

Give it a shot.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

I got tinder as a bit of a joke and to see what it was all about. Actually ended up talking to someone who I really clicked with who lived nearby. Ended up meeting up and going on a few dates - it's going great and can possibly see it being a long term thing.

Reply 3

snowystarks

I feel the same as you, although I'm 21 and haven't had a relationship or been kissed.
I used it out of curiosity and talked to two guys for a long time. One suggested meeting up and I kept changing the subject, so he eventually stopped.
The other had the same interests as me and it was really easy to talk to him. However i hate the thought of meeting someone I've never met. I'm scared they'll look at me and go 'oh.. help' and the whole date will be awkward.
So I stopped replying to him, which is a shame because I think I would have liked him.

The whole point of online dating is to meet people who you meet online.. And I don't think I can do that.

Posted from TSR Mobile

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

I joined up for a bit of fun and a bit of anything. I am now in a committed serious relationship from it...

Reply 5

Fullofsurprises

Tinder's social media monitoring company is planting some positive comments on the thread?

Reply 6

Lwin

If your tinder picture looks like you, why would you be scared of them not liking you appearance? They've already seen you!

Reply 7

snowystarks

Original post by Lwin

If your tinder picture looks like you, why would you be scared of them not liking you appearance? They've already seen you!

Photos can be quite deceptive. Good lighting, far away shots, filters etc.
I spoke to a guy who was gorgeous in his picture. He then added me on FB and the rest of his pictures were nothing like his main one.
But yeah, as long as it's you and not completely different, they shouldn't be too shocked.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 8

Lwin

Original post by snowystarks

True, people do post very deceptive pictures. But yeah if the picture actually looks like the person, perhaps with nicer makeup or a flattering angle but recognizably them, then there shouldn't really be a problem.

Reply 9

Stewie2011

Original post by knightandday

I initially went on there for a laugh but it seems that there are some guys who are serious about relationships and stuff.

duh Really! Wow using a dating service for like dating? Surely not, what ever will be next, lol.

Original post by knightandday

But, and cant believe im saying this but i have never been in a relationship or had a first kiss... im 19 by the way.

Call me old-fashioned but i prefer to meet guy in person before giving my number and going dates and whatnot.

Yeah, that approach is working 'real' well for you considering you're 19 and never been in a relationship with someone, which for a woman is not good, for a guy understandable. I being old fashioned is not turning up dates for you than old fashioned is not working for you. No point in doing the same thing as you'll get the same result. Need to stop thinking you're entitled to have a guy ask you out in person, for some girls this works, clearly it doesn't for you. It's perfectly legal for you to ask a guy out in person.

Original post by knightandday

when i get a match and they reply i dont tend to reply back. not because i dont like them, just bcos i have this fear that if we do end up going out they will see me in real life and just walk away/it will be awkward...

How would you feel if someone did not reply back to you? There a human being they have feelings, its taken them time and hopefully thought to bother to write to you. Not only does it tell them you're not interested when you clearly are which is ridiculous to let a potential happy relationship just slide away it is also somewhat rude, unless you of course suspect it would cause further problems replying to someone you are not keen on. The whole point of the site is to message each other, it doesn't work if the girls just want to sit there and do nothing, I mean for heavens sake see how difficult it is for guys to communicate and get a girl even one they like, it agony and torture, just trying to get communicating. If you can't interact by simple messaging online how do you expect to handle it in the real world. Do you really expect some poor guy to just come over chat to you, ask you out, phone no. etc with you just sat there saying nothing! Messaging online is about as placid as it gets, there's no compulsion to meet up even if the guy is pressing for it, you can break contact at any time.

Basically, few guys will be rude enough to just bog off as soon as they meet you, most will stay a while if only for politeness and to avoid an awkward situation themselves. Only if you're real fat are they likely to do a runner but body photos will help avoid this so they know how you look. Can happen of course but not often just have to deal with it, its no big deal really.

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

Tinder is great if you can manage your expectations! You'll meet a load of different guys who are after different situations - from a bit of 'fun' to a serious relationship.

I have had a long-term serious relationship from Tinder, I used Tinder while travelling alone and had an awesome holiday fling, and I used it for a bit of fun once. In total I've met up with 6-10 guys and 99% of my experiences have been positive.

As far as photos go, obviously everyone is going to choose their most flattering looks but just be honest and they will like you in person too. Some of my favourite photos are from when I had my hair extensions, but I've also included a photo of my natural short hair so guys know exactly who they're meeting. :smile:

As long as you're honest about what you want, and you manage your expectations about what they want, you'll be fine.

(And obviously put safety first when meeting a stranger - public places only, and let a friend know where you're going!)

Reply 11

Anonymous #4

I've got rid of it now because I got bored after a while but when I had it I only came across two guys that were actually decent and wanted to talk for longer than a day or so, the rest just wanted nudes etc. One guy I was too scared to meet up with and slowly stopped talking to him and the other just lives too far away so it wasn't realistic anyway. I think it's a good confidence boost though and just a bit of fun really.

Reply 12

username1847913

Original post by Stewie2011

duh Really! Wow using a dating service for like dating? Surely not, what ever will be next, lol.

Yeah, that approach is working 'real' well for you considering you're 19 and never been in a relationship with someone, which for a woman is not good, for a guy understandable. I being old fashioned is not turning up dates for you than old fashioned is not working for you. No point in doing the same thing as you'll get the same result. Need to stop thinking you're entitled to have a guy ask you out in person, for some girls this works, clearly it doesn't for you. It's perfectly legal for you to ask a guy out in person.

How would you feel if someone did not reply back to you? There a human being they have feelings, its taken them time and hopefully thought to bother to write to you. Not only does it tell them you're not interested when you clearly are which is ridiculous to let a potential happy relationship just slide away it is also somewhat rude, unless you of course suspect it would cause further problems replying to someone you are not keen on. The whole point of the site is to message each other, it doesn't work if the girls just want to sit there and do nothing, I mean for heavens sake see how difficult it is for guys to communicate and get a girl even one they like, it agony and torture, just trying to get communicating. If you can't interact by simple messaging online how do you expect to handle it in the real world. Do you really expect some poor guy to just come over chat to you, ask you out, phone no. etc with you just sat there saying nothing! Messaging online is about as placid as it gets, there's no compulsion to meet up even if the guy is pressing for it, you can break contact at any time.

Basically, few guys will be rude enough to just bog off as soon as they meet you, most will stay a while if only for politeness and to avoid an awkward situation themselves. Only if you're real fat are they likely to do a runner but body photos will help avoid this so they know how you look. Can happen of course but not often just have to deal with it, its no big deal really.

Apart from the tone of your message, I actually agree with what you said. thanks. As for the whole 19 thing and never being in a relationship being a bad things. i have to disagree. Many people than yo think are in the same position as me. Plus if you knew my background, you will understand why it never happened.

A guy doesnt have to approach a guy, and im not saying im should be entitled to it but that was always my perception of how these things work. Im slowly changing that now. And most of the time i dont reply bcos i dont see it going anywhere.

On another topic, did someone hurt you or something? not trying to sound rude but your reply seems a bit to personal and attack-like. I mean you broke down my paragraph and answered every topic extensively, why?