Relationship venting... Confused :-(

Hello.

I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the correct place, but it's about my relationship and how worthless my girlfriend is making me feel. Maybe I'm just pathetically insecure but part of me can't help but think that she takes me for granted and finds it ok to hurt me emotionally.

I'm in a same sex relationship, and my girlfriend started University last September and I'm due to attend another this coming September also.

The problem started a few months in to her course, and at first I was finding it hard to adjust to not seeing her so often but I let her have her space. But then out of nowhere she just started being distance, and snapping at me for everything. The only people she doesn't seem to have a problem with are her friends.. I could be upset and she will tell me about her friend was upset and then will say "don't be mean about her, she's going through a lot" whilst ignoring that I'm down about something. I feel emotionally ignored by her, as whenever I try to talk to her about how I feel she just goes go sleep or starts an argument that I never intended to have. She also rolls her eyes when I try to confide in her. I feel like she doesn't respect that I have trust in her.

When we we first got together a few years ago, she seemed to want to take me to meet all her friends and liked showing me off, which I will admit made me feel wanted and confident. But now, she snaps at the suggestion that I hang out with her group with her. Not to interfere or "steal" friends, I just think it's important that friends get along and she seems to want to spend more time with them outside of university than with me. If she stays with me she only wants to stay indoors, and if we do go anywhere it's only for an hour or so and we are likely to be alone. She was a lot nicer before she went there and she was very affectionate. Now she pays more attention to her friends than to anything else. She kept on at me to put my money in to a savings account and even though I was going to do it anyway, I felt like she was forcing me and controlling what I do with my money. I feel like I cannot do anything right by her, I cannot say anything that is right by her and she turns the blame on me all the time. She disliked all my friends so now I barely have any friends and I don't get invited out anywhere with friends or with her. She will go out on nights out often and drinks so much but I'm never allowed to actually go with her and she never wants to plan a night out with the friends we had before uni.

She just snaps at me for everything and it makes me feel so worthless, I feel like everything I do makes her angry and she says so many hurtful things then says she didn't mean it but it's got to the point where I don't know what she means and what she doesn't... She tells me I'm jealous and pathetic but honestly I just feel lonely and like I'm being pushed out. She says sorry but never does anything to back up her words. It's like she's all about words but not about actions. I miss how affectionate she was for the first 3 or so years, I give my heart and soul to someone who can't even recognise when I'm upset and gets angry when (and if) she asks what's wrong and I tell her. She's also not very nice to me when she's actually around her friends, she will text me horrible stuff if I send her a text.

She makes plans with me and then double books with her friends and tells me that she never made plans with me and if she did she has forgotten and that I can see her any other day which simply isn't true as she limits me to 1 day a week and that's usually an hour. It's not the fact she's going out that bothers me, it's the fact she dumps my plans and "forgets" them as if I don't matter. She doesn't ask she just does and she expects me to just do everything her way. If she wants to do something, she will and I will, but if I want to do something, she won't if she doesn't want to. She doesn't compromise and she doesn't seem to want to introduce me to her friends and doesn't use my name. I feel like I'm just an option for when she's bored and I feel like when I go to university she's just gonna use that as an excuse for everything :frown:

I haven't explained this exactly the way I'm trying to as I find it hard to actually make strangers understand, but I'm just trying to find out and get opinions whether I'm the problem or whether she doesn't appriciate me enough.

What bothers me the most though is that she will say she's leaving me and tell me that I will be running back to her before long and that she knows that I will always come back to her. And sometimes I wish I could say I was strong enough to take myself out of such a distressing relationship but when it's good its really good, just unfortunately it seems to just get worse and worse and apparently it's my fault I guess. I'm starting to think maybe she's embarrassed of how I look or just my personality or something. It's really confusing and I don't know why she some how seems to hate me all of a sudden.

Sorry this post is very long and boring but I just need some reassurance that I'm not a bad girlfriend and that this perhaps maybe isn't all my fault. :frown:

Relationship venting... Confused :-(

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