The Student Room Group

answered

answered
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 1
Hi, this is my girlfriend 'X', that will be all.
i do hope someone replies it sounds so similar to my family
'I have a girlfriend'
Original post by dylantombides
'I'm probably coming back from University on Monday. Also do I have white/black formal attire for Alex's birthday on the 14th. I'm not drinking as I've got training for my job on the 15th. Also just thought I'd mention I have a girlfriend now'.


pfft. you dont need help, you already got it down.

I'd go with the text thing you suggested, just to avoid follow up questions face to face :tongue:
texting them casually sounds like you ve already got the right idea, lessens the awkwardness:smile:
Reply 6
Sounds like my parents, I suggested introducing them to a gf a long time ago and they screwed up. So I told them they'd never meet anyone I'm dating. 10 years later they've still not met anyone I've dated.
Original post by Jebedee
Sounds like my parents, I suggested introducing them to a gf a long time ago and they screwed up. So I told them they'd never meet anyone I'm dating. 10 years later they've still not met anyone I've dated.


That's probs like my parents then. It's more that they always made little light hearted jokes about me having a girlfriend when I was younger and when I actually do have a girlfriend it's hard to tell them as I'm used to them doing this light hearted joke thing. But at the same time I can tell my parents are thinking 'How long is it going to take before he gets a gf' (they are worrying/pressuring me without directly saying it).
Hopefully you will find that you are over thinking it. I felt the same, and then I told my parents I had a boyfriend and they weren't at all weird about it, and turns out all the worrying had been for nothing.
Even if this doesn't happen, just tell them. You don't have to take her round there or anything, but it's better that you're not keeping it a secret. Also, if you do eventually take her round your house, then the sooner you tell your family about her the longer they will have to digest the information and hopefully they will be less weird when she does come round.
1. Go to parents
2. "hi parents, I have a gf"
3. Subsequent chatter ensues
4. Don't bring gf round to your house if they're gon' be weird.

You're over thinking this.
Original post by dylantombides
That's probs like my parents then. It's more that they always made little light hearted jokes about me having a girlfriend when I was younger and when I actually do have a girlfriend it's hard to tell them as I'm used to them doing this light hearted joke thing. But at the same time I can tell my parents are thinking 'How long is it going to take before he gets a gf' (they are worrying/pressuring me without directly saying it).


haha so true
Going to let them know tomorrow hopefully
You might be overthinking it, hopefully you are. Just let them know. Don't bring her around until you know they are cool with it and will act normally.
Reply 13
Original post by dylantombides
Please read FULLY before replying

I'm a 20 year old guy and she is my first girlfriend. Without being horrible to my family they are a little 'odd'. It just seems difficult because I've never had a gf before so I don't know how they react but I can almost imagine it from knowing them so well:

- They are very judgemental so they'll constantly be thinking about it. I wish it wasn't a big deal to them as it has nothing to do with them but they'll probably be thinking about it/have it in their heads that I am in a relationship all day for ages.

- They aren't good with sensitive subjects. For example they'd never give me the 'sex talk'.

- My family are VERY anti social - My dad literally goes to work monday-friday and that's it (doesn't have friends), my brother has aspergers so he has no friends and will be thinking about me having a girlfriend constantly as that's his personality (he sits in his room playing games all day combined with over-thinking/worrying over every detail - if i ever brought her to my house he'd panic that I would have sex with her in the room next to it.... I wouldn't have sex in my family house anyway). My other brother does have friends at school but he has never brought anyone round to our house before and never goes to other friend's houses. Basically my house has never had a visitor - no one has friends so if someone came round it is AWKWARD. They don't know how to behave/react. Especially at dinner when there true weirdness comes out they don't know how to be normal/social and there's an awkward silence. Any conversation that does take place you can just tell each person is weighing up whether they should say it and thinking wayyyy too much before speaking. Eg they'll think 'is this weird to say' before opening their mouths. My mum also has an 'overthinking' and worrying personality as she cares too much for me.

- As I said it's hard because i don't bring people round to my house and nor does the rest of my family who do not have friends. Neither of my brother's have had girlfriends (or friends for that matter), nor do they talk about girls, dating, sex or anything related. Also since it is my first girlfriend it is hard for me to tell them.


I was considering texting my mum about something then casually just mentioning it in there. For example 'I'm probably coming back from University on Monday. Also do I have white/black formal attire for Alex's birthday on the 14th. I'm not drinking as I've got training for my job on the 15th. Also just thought I'd mention I have a girlfriend now'.



I have read fully...

Get some testicles ...:biggrin:

But seriously, bf/gf is the most naturally thing in the world, if they don't accept, time to leave.
Reply 14
From the sound of it, your parents swapped fluids at least 3 times. I think you having a girlfriend wont be a completely earth shattering notion.
Reply 15
Original post by Lacesso
From the sound of it, your parents swapped fluids at least 3 times. I think you having a girlfriend wont be a completely earth shattering notion.


Atleast 3 times?! He could be triplet, so one fluid exchanged, or maybe twin, so twice, or maybe none, as they're all adopted. :biggrin:
Original post by dylantombides
Please read FULLY before replying

I'm a 20 year old guy and she is my first girlfriend. Without being horrible to my family they are a little 'odd'. It just seems difficult because I've never had a gf before so I don't know how they react but I can almost imagine it from knowing them so well:

- They are very judgemental so they'll constantly be thinking about it. I wish it wasn't a big deal to them as it has nothing to do with them but they'll probably be thinking about it/have it in their heads that I am in a relationship all day for ages.

- They aren't good with sensitive subjects. For example they'd never give me the 'sex talk'.

- My family are VERY anti social - My dad literally goes to work monday-friday and that's it (doesn't have friends), my brother has aspergers so he has no friends and will be thinking about me having a girlfriend constantly as that's his personality (he sits in his room playing games all day combined with over-thinking/worrying over every detail - if i ever brought her to my house he'd panic that I would have sex with her in the room next to it.... I wouldn't have sex in my family house anyway). My other brother does have friends at school but he has never brought anyone round to our house before and never goes to other friend's houses. Basically my house has never had a visitor - no one has friends so if someone came round it is AWKWARD. They don't know how to behave/react. Especially at dinner when there true weirdness comes out they don't know how to be normal/social and there's an awkward silence. Any conversation that does take place you can just tell each person is weighing up whether they should say it and thinking wayyyy too much before speaking. Eg they'll think 'is this weird to say' before opening their mouths. My mum also has an 'overthinking' and worrying personality as she cares too much for me.

- As I said it's hard because i don't bring people round to my house and nor does the rest of my family who do not have friends. Neither of my brother's have had girlfriends (or friends for that matter), nor do they talk about girls, dating, sex or anything related. Also since it is my first girlfriend it is hard for me to tell them.


I was considering texting my mum about something then casually just mentioning it in there. For example 'I'm probably coming back from University on Monday. Also do I have white/black formal attire for Alex's birthday on the 14th. I'm not drinking as I've got training for my job on the 15th. Also just thought I'd mention I have a girlfriend now'.


Errr just tell them and don't bring her round, simple


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Original post by dylantombides
Please read FULLY before replying

I'm a 20 year old guy and she is my first girlfriend. Without being horrible to my family they are a little 'odd'. It just seems difficult because I've never had a gf before so I don't know how they react but I can almost imagine it from knowing them so well:

- They are very judgemental so they'll constantly be thinking about it. I wish it wasn't a big deal to them as it has nothing to do with them but they'll probably be thinking about it/have it in their heads that I am in a relationship all day for ages.

- They aren't good with sensitive subjects. For example they'd never give me the 'sex talk'.

- My family are VERY anti social - My dad literally goes to work monday-friday and that's it (doesn't have friends), my brother has aspergers so he has no friends and will be thinking about me having a girlfriend constantly as that's his personality (he sits in his room playing games all day combined with over-thinking/worrying over every detail - if i ever brought her to my house he'd panic that I would have sex with her in the room next to it.... I wouldn't have sex in my family house anyway). My other brother does have friends at school but he has never brought anyone round to our house before and never goes to other friend's houses. Basically my house has never had a visitor - no one has friends so if someone came round it is AWKWARD. They don't know how to behave/react. Especially at dinner when there true weirdness comes out they don't know how to be normal/social and there's an awkward silence. Any conversation that does take place you can just tell each person is weighing up whether they should say it and thinking wayyyy too much before speaking. Eg they'll think 'is this weird to say' before opening their mouths. My mum also has an 'overthinking' and worrying personality as she cares too much for me.

- As I said it's hard because i don't bring people round to my house and nor does the rest of my family who do not have friends. Neither of my brother's have had girlfriends (or friends for that matter), nor do they talk about girls, dating, sex or anything related. Also since it is my first girlfriend it is hard for me to tell them.


I was considering texting my mum about something then casually just mentioning it in there. For example 'I'm probably coming back from University on Monday. Also do I have white/black formal attire for Alex's birthday on the 14th. I'm not drinking as I've got training for my job on the 15th. Also just thought I'd mention I have a girlfriend now'.


Are you a little person in a travelling carny or are you a regular young man with a regular family? No it is regular; you'd be surprised how many people don't have awesome members in their family :h:

Just...bring her round. You might even inspire them to get out their asses and live a little :yy: And if it gets weird then slam your fork down and have a go at em. :wink:
I would not just bring her uninvited one day like others seem to be suggesting. If they are those kind of parents they will probably want to know more so may as well tell them in person/phone anyway. And just remember:

1. Don't be defensive, it'll set a bad tone and they'll associate it with her

2. Only speak highly of her when they ask about her. If you make it out that she's lovely then they will be inclined to think the same.

3. Make it out as if it's no big deal.


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Original post by dylantombides
That's probs like my parents then. It's more that they always made little light hearted jokes about me having a girlfriend when I was younger and when I actually do have a girlfriend it's hard to tell them as I'm used to them doing this light hearted joke thing. But at the same time I can tell my parents are thinking 'How long is it going to take before he gets a gf' (they are worrying/pressuring me without directly saying it).


My experience was different. Firstly I had met this girl a few times and she turned up nearby unannounced so I met her and it started raining like crazy so I had to bring her to mine, we went to my room and my mom kept coming in asking "do you want a sandwich", "do you want an icecream?" It was super embarrassing because she was clearly attempting to c***block me.

Few years later I was dating a girl for around 8 months so I thought it's about time I introduced her so I asked my mom is it okay to bring her over.... she cut me off and freaked out saying "you can't bring a girl here to stay over night, it's really disrespectful bla bla bla". I told her actually I was just going to say over for tea some time, but never mind I don't think I want to introduce you now.

If she's making every effort to get in the way, I don't see why she would deserve to take an active part in any romantic interests I have. Since then I've kept my private life away from her.

Although these days if I'm with someone for a while they do get very suspicious when I don't want to introduce my parents.

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