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Worst things to say to students during the exam period?

From BBC News:

The exam season is here. For families living in the exam zone, it's a tricky time. Emotions are running high. Nerves are frayed. Parents try to be encouraging and supportive - and that's usually a sure-fire way of starting an argument. There is nothing that says it's the exam season better than the sound of a teenager's door being slammed.

So what are the worst things you can say?

1. There are only two things that parents can ever say to teenagers taking their exams. The wrong thing. And the wrong thing. Whatever you say is going to irritate them. Accept it. Even accepting it, that's irritating too.

2. "Don't worry, it's not a big deal, it's only a bit of paper, and whatever happens we still..." Wherever you're going with that, it's not working. Think hole, stop digging. If you say, "Don't worry," this is interpreted as really meaning, "Relax, you're in a ship heading at full speed towards a colossal iceberg." But if you say it "really matters", that translates as: "Why are you piling all this pressure on me now, like I really need any more?" Wrong and wrong. Again.

3. "Remember how well your sister did." Few things could be as provocative. It sets off a series of explosions all over the house like in a Sunday afternoon war film. Never mention siblings, dubiously-gifted cousins, unbearable child-prodigy neighbours.

4. "How can you do any work with all those screens running at once?" The generation gap is now measured by the number of screens being used simultaneously. It's safe to write this because no teenager will ever read this far down an article. They are too busy playing with YouTube, WhatsApp, Tumblr, Instagram, Snapchat and something really retro like Facebook.

5. "At least the exams are much easier now." This little gem could dig you into a corner tighter than a Hatton Garden deposit box. Allude vaguely to "proper" exams like O-levels and then say: "It's great that these days they more or less give out the answers as well as the question papers."

6. "It's lucky you've only chosen easy subjects." Whooosh! So inflammatory that entire postcodes are laid waste.

7. "You can only do your best." Patronising, with subtle shades of disappointment. It sounds like: "You can only do your best… for someone who would lose an argument with an earthworm. But well done you."

8. Stupid 'brain food' ideas. Like it's going to make a difference, eating fish pie the night before an exam. Or a bunch of bananas or gallons of water to rehydrate the brain. Advice on sleep can also be annoying, oscillating between "Make sure you keep revising" and "Don't stay up all night revising." Maybe the last two years of not reading anything longer than a party invitation might have a bigger impact. And anyway what's the connection with fishes and intelligence? A lot of them are no better than sea grade.

9. "Do you want me to test you on a few things?" This begins with good intentions, in the same the way that wars and major humanitarian disasters probably begin with good intentions. But you've stepped inside the dragon's cave. You've offered to help. What could go wrong? Apart from everything? You're going to ask the wrong questions, or give the wrong answers. And you'll ask them in the wrong way. Then you'll get annoyed and say: "Can we turn off the music so I can hear myself think?" or "Why are you watching Game of Thrones on the laptop?" or "Are you having another break?" Hope the door frame is more robust than their speaking-and-listening skills. Bang.

10. "You'll kick yourself if you've only missed out by one mark." Really, really irritating. Guaranteed to leave them angry until August. Infuriated teenagers will add it to the bulging file marked "I've tried my hardest but nothing is ever good enough for you." Best of luck everyone. Sorry, was that the wrong thing to say?



Are you irritated by everything your parents currently say? What would be the worst thing anybody could say to you during the exam period? :biggrin:

Scroll to see replies

"It's lucky you've only chosen easy subjects."

Who. would. say. this.
Reply 2
There's always next time.
So basically say nothing.
"What do you think you got?"
Original post by Nirgilis
From BBC News:

The exam season is here. For families living in the exam zone, it's a tricky time. Emotions are running high. Nerves are frayed. Parents try to be encouraging and supportive - and that's usually a sure-fire way of starting an argument. There is nothing that says it's the exam season better than the sound of a teenager's door being slammed.

So what are the worst things you can say?
...
:biggrin:


"You'll be fine"
"You'll remember everything once you get in the exam"
"You're so clever anyway"
"You do well in all your exams"

No i won't be fine, i haven't revised, clever means nothing it's all about memory, and this is this exam not that exam they're two different things :frown:
Reply 6
You've picked easy subjects..
"Stop being so stressed, you're not the only person in the country doing exams."

mAYBE NOT??
But I don't really care about other people and their exams?
I only care about what I get and how I do- other people's results affect me very little??????
Reply 8
My mum always tries to feed me 'brain food' and when I say that I don't care if it's brain food or not, if it tastes nice, I'll eat it, she goes on a rant about how I shouldn't say 'I don't care' as it's rude and I should try to eat healthy.

Other things my parents say:
*As soon as I get in the car after an exam* : "How do you think you did?"
"Oh, you're still awake? You should sleep"
"Shall I wake you up at 5am tomorrow morning so you can revise?"
"Don't worry, you're George's sister, you are very clever"
And constantly being compared to my brother...
Your cousin got an A* , you should be getting an A****...oh the shame

Spoiler

So have you decided you're definitely applying for Imperial College then?
Me: I have finished my exam
Parents: What did you get?
Me: I am not sure, it was okay
Parents: SO YOU FAILED!! :ahhhhh:
Reply 12
Original post by ImNotReallyMe
"You'll be fine"
"You'll remember everything once you get in the exam"
"You're so clever anyway"
"You do well in all your exams"

No i won't be fine, i haven't revised, clever means nothing it's all about memory, and this is this exam not that exam they're two different things :frown:


:hugs: . It must be tough being a parent - they just can't say the right thing no matter how much it's well-intentioned :lol:
Original post by Nirgilis
:hugs: . It must be tough being a parent - they just can't say the right thing no matter how much it's well-intentioned :lol:


Haha, my parents don't say anything to me anyway, it's all my peers who say these things! But most of the time we're worrying together, so that's more the kind of support i need, where i know everyone else is feeling doomed too :smile:
"How did your friends find the exam? Did you get any of the same answers?"
"How did the exam go?"
"Bad."
"What do you mean it went bad?"
I'm really glad I live away from home for university. I keep logged off of Skype during stressful times and revision so I'm not distracted and so my mum can't ask how it's going. If my exam has gone well, I can call her and tell her if I like. If it hasn't gone well, I could sulk on the phone to her, or I can isolate myself again for however long I like until I'm ready to talk about it without crying. Good arrangement.
"We know you've tried your best, so that's all that matters!"

No, mum. What matters is that I get into a good university.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Samz15
You've picked easy subjects..

just reply
do you think these aqa, edexcel and ocr thing is looking easy to you, is this the easy!!??
tell me nao!!!
"at least you only have ten exams" I may have ten but that doesn't mean I'm scared.

"you cant fail" yes I can

"atleasy you took easy subjects" they are not easy.

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