The Student Room Group

what is my problem?

Hey

For some reason I find it realy difficult to get with girls. I know this is quite a common problem, and alot of guys experience this, but without meaning to be cocky and controversial, im the type of guy girls should go for. The hottest girls in my 6th form have all told freinds of mine aswell as me that they think im hot and that its a bonus that I'm also quite clever. I'm in the popular/ clique group, Im a nice guy, played sport at a high level (nearly a pro footballer), and yes, believe it or not, im actually quite modest. I may appear cocky from this post and am anonymous as I am expecting alot of hateful replies to this about how i am an arrogant bastard, but this is really the first time Ive laid all my cards on the table, and am having a good hard think about what I dont have/ am doing wrong.

thanks

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have u eva been with a girl?
Wow, you sound perfect!

Do you kiss yourself in the mirror Mr Handsome? x
you sure you're trying hard enough?

do you only try it with girls you know, because if so then perhaps its because all the girls you know are frigid, and you need to meet some new ppl and try with them...
Reply 4
maybe theyre dazzled by your clear god likness and yet so un modest. cant think of a better word
Reply 5
Anonymous
have u eva been with a girl?


Ive had a few brief encounters if you catch my drift, but not with as many as the rest of my freinds, and nothing long term or meaningful.

an example would be last night. This girl who I adore at our college had a party and she was lookin so beautiful. She had told people she fancied me before xmas, and at the start of the night there was alot of flirting going on. I really did think it wuld be my lucky night! However, an hour later shes feelin upand makin out with her ex boyfreind from a few years ago (who also happens to be a good freind), and it just annoyed me so much that everything seemed right, and it all goes balls up last minute. Ive had a few situations like thatand Im sick of it. I never wanna go through it again, because I really did like this girl. I cant think what Im doing wrong, or wether its me at all and not just factors outside my control (eg emotional attatchment to previous boyfreind).
Reply 6
Your problem is quite evident from your post.

Get off your high horse, you're not better than anyone.

Been there, done that, no one likes an arrogant bastard.
you only get what you put in most of the time...

if you're sitting there waiting for her to come to you you're not gonna get very far.
do u actually make any moves on these girls or do u expect them to come to u all the time??
Reply 9
I suppose I tend to let them make the moves more than I do. I suppose fear of rejection could be a factor.
Reply 10
I don't get why everyone slates people who say they have relationship problems despite their good qualities, but tell people who have relationship problems, because of their percieved negative qualities, to focus on their positive aspects and be confident.

That being said, if you come across as arrogant in 'The Real World', it's often a huge turn off. Maybe that really is the problem?
Reply 11
I am 100% sure I am not considered arrogant in the 'real worl'. I am definetely not one of the loud cocky types. Im much quiter and reserved.
Reply 12
Anonymous
I suppose I tend to let them make the moves more than I do. I suppose fear of rejection could be a factor.


Always tell yourself that, no matter how hot you are, a girl will never come onto you. They mmight, but 9 times out of ten they won't, and dont get shocked if they do.
One of the hottest at uni came onto me, and I just didnt no wtf to say even though I carried the convo very well, I just didnt "go for the kill" lol
Reply 13
Maybe you need to be a bit more confident in your approach then. If you're good looking and generally a good catch, it's possible that girls feel insecure about approaching you for fear of being rejected.
Reply 14
Well, I always thought I gave the right hints to let a girl know I liked her back, but never really went for it in a meaningful way.
Reply 15
Maybe you're not that interesting?
Reply 16
Anonymous
Ive had a few brief encounters if you catch my drift, but not with as many as the rest of my freinds, and nothing long term or meaningful.


And here's your problem - because you're in a little "popular" and cliquey group, you're comparing yourself to your mates who have all probably been around the block a few times.

It seems you're going for the girls who everyone else is telling you to go for - stop it! I bet if there's some girl who you actually were REALLY interested in but your mates didn't like her, you wouldn't go for her?

You don't need to try to get with someone at a party or anything like that. If YOU fancy a girl, just say Hi to them at some point, start to get to know them, etc. You don't always have to go for the girl that "everyone tells me she fancies me!" :rolleyes:

Also, you do appear to be a bit arrogant - but trust me, it happens to all guys! We all go through that "Oh I fancy her so much" thing then see her with someone else who you convince yourself is so much worse for her than you would be! You just have to get over it - plus if you've heard she fancies you and then gets with her ex-boyfriend then she's probably a slut.
Reply 17
Fleece
Maybe you're not that interesting?


^^^
dude...uve got the stuff....so u have to make the first move....girls are prob too shy to ask out someone like you and expect you to ask them out
Anonymous
Hey

For some reason I find it realy difficult to get with girls. I know this is quite a common problem, and alot of guys experience this, but without meaning to be cocky and controversial, im the type of guy girls should go for. The hottest girls in my 6th form have all told freinds of mine aswell as me that they think im hot and that its a bonus that I'm also quite clever. I'm in the popular/ clique group, Im a nice guy, played sport at a high level (nearly a pro footballer), and yes, believe it or not, im actually quite modest. I may appear cocky from this post and am anonymous as I am expecting alot of hateful replies to this about how i am an arrogant bastard, but this is really the first time Ive laid all my cards on the table, and am having a good hard think about what I dont have/ am doing wrong.

thanks

I wouldn't go out with a pro footballer, purely out of principle, unless he was something pretty ****ing special. Plus being "hot" counts for nothing, and most people past the age of 16 know that. And being in the "clique" group gives you a sort of unspoken arrogance, even if I can believe that this post was written modestly. Frankly I'd find it worrying that your niceness was mixed up and hidden away in the middle of your will to be clever, popular, modest and athletic... just as you posted it above, really. Shall we take a second look?

Anonymous
they think im hot and that its a bonus that I'm also quite clever. I'm in the popular/ clique group, Im a nice guy, played sport at a high level (nearly a pro footballer), and yes, believe it or not, im actually quite modest.

I had to look twice to see it, honestly. And I'm sure when you're not "laying your cards on the table" other girls have to look more than twice to see it. Focus on the being a nice guy, rather than being hot, popular, a pro footballer and actually quite modest. They're all nice qualities, but alone they're nothing.

Oh, and one final bit of advice. This may be simply me being a traditionalist, but don't tell a girl you want to "get with" her. Ever.