LGBT+Soc - *for more serious discussion*

oh me and my friend are going to one in 3 days time on the 23rd?? Is there 2??

Hi

I just want to say this...because I don't really know what to think and I'm certainly not comfortable...


Ever since I was 14 or 13 (im 18 now) I've been obsessed with the idea of being a woman. At first I dismissed it as some kind of weird fetish, but it got worse. I fantasised and still do about changing gender. The other day I was cutting chicken with kitchen scissors and kept on thinking awful, awful things about cutting my own genitals off with them. It would be so easy. I mainly hang around with girls, and every time they talk about having a period or bra sizes or anything than that, I feel awful jealousy.

Puberty was the worst time. The period when my voice broke was the worst feeling I've ever felt. It felt like a point of no return, that I was stuck and nobody could help.

And I can't tell anyone. My family would accept, but I still feel uncomfortable that they wouldn't truly believe it. Tbh I'm not entirely convinced myself.

I just want to say this because I've never been able to before...um sorry for rambling

This is an issue about the chat thread. Occasionally there are trolls (like there have been tonight), is anybody else for the chat thread being regulated? So people a) don't get offended as offensive posts are deleted as quickly as possible b) don't feed the trolls. Obviously the guy tonight isn't DYKWIA, but I think that this person could cause similar upset to what DYKWIAs posts have done previously.

Sorry, only just seen your post now. What exactly do you mean by regulated? It's already subject to the same moderation that the test of TSR is. If a troll appears, report it using the report button and that'll bring it to the attention of a moderator, who will deal with it asap.

Posted from TSR Mobile

By regulated, I mean moderators (or more of them) swiftly removing anything that could cause offense.

So I'm a guy and bisexual, I recently told my mates. I used Grindr and basically about a year and a half ago a lad popped up to me and I recognised him as one of my mate's cousin so I said I knew him and we just started chatting. Then we started meeting up and well, doing "stuff". The cousin then told my mate that I'm bi after a couple of months. So me and this cousin met up quite a few times over the course of a year and a half however now we don't talk at all. And my mate knows non of this. I feel really guilty for my mate because of what I've done and now I dont know what to do. I have two choices really, should I do the right thing and tell my mate and alleviate my guilt or do I not tell him and spare his feelings?

I'm not sure I understand why you're feeling guilty?

I just do it's like you're not really suppose to do stuff with you mates relatives are you? especially behind their back plus it happened for so long without me telling him

I don't think there are really any hard and fast rules about that If your mate knows that both you and your cousin are bi, and doesn't have a problem with either of you being bi, I'd predict that he probably wouldn't have a problem with knowing that the two of you hooked up. Well, not a serious problem anyway. Like, one of my (very close) female friends had sex with my brother a couple of years ago. I wasn't angry or upset, I didn't have a problem with it. I was initially a little taken aback (but that was more to do with the fact my female friend was dating a girl at the time xD)

I suspect you may be making mountains out of molehills. If one of my friends randomly came up to me and said "I can't keep this a secret any longer, I can't stand the guilt; I hooked up with your cousin a few times ages ago", I'd find it a little odd that a) they thought it was such a big deal and b) they randomly confessed it to me after so much time.

I suppose there is the possibility that your mate might find out (from his cousin, or someone else) that the two of you hooked up, and he might wonder why either of you didn't tell him at the time, but again, I'd be surprised if he had a problem with it.


(Bearing in mind, this is my perspective as an almost 25 year old poly guy with very liberal and flexible attitude to love, dating and relationships and so might not be representative of your experience )

well not to get too graphic but we last hooked past month and had a foursome so I'm feeling like the worst friend ever

Again, I don't think these are things you need to be ashamed of You're not a bad friend for hooking up with a friend's relative! It doesn't affect your friend at all. And like I said, if he knows that both you and his cousin are bi/gay and he's fine with that, then there's no real reason for him to have a problem with it.

So I should tell him?

So I should tell him?

It's your shout really. If you think it's actually important that he knows, then tell him. If you think it doesn't really matter, then don't. What option feels best for you?

My mother has an irrational hatred of LGBT and she doesn't know about my bisexuality. I feel she will disown me if I tell her.

I can't even join the society at uni because she closely monitors everything I do. I don't know what to do