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LGBT+Soc - *for more serious discussion*

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    (Original post by Tortious)
    It's you! :gah:

    :jumphug:

    (I'm fine, thanks. I forgot to reply to your Facebook post. )
    :hi: :love: :sexface:

    Don't worry, I forgot I wrote to you :teehee:

    :getmecoat:
    #14

    I don't feel particularly defined by my sexuality as a person, however I do get very sick of having to lie to people around me. I have some friends who I know would be OK with me being bi and I feel like I'm letting them down the most by lying to them. As for my Christian friends, I have tested the waters with them and I know that they would take it badly. Thanks for the hug and cookie Tortious!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't feel particularly defined by my sexuality as a person, however I do get very sick of having to lie to people around me. I have some friends who I know would be OK with me being bi and I feel like I'm letting them down the most by lying to them. As for my Christian friends, I have tested the waters with them and I know that they would take it badly. Thanks for the hug and cookie Tortious!
    You could always tell your other friends and not the Christian ones, if you're sure the others won't tell anyone? Chances are the others know how religious the Christian two are, so I doubt they'd say anything.

    Start with one person and see how it goes.
    #14

    (Original post by Tortious)
    You could always tell your other friends and not the Christian ones, if you're sure the others won't tell anyone? Chances are the others know how religious the Christian two are, so I doubt they'd say anything.

    Start with one person and see how it goes.
    Thanks for the advice, it's really helpful. This definitely seems to be the best approach for me. I'm a bit scared of telling people as I've only came out to my Dad and I was a nervous wreck and shaking all over. He's fine with it, but I found the whole experience really nerve wracking.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the advice, it's really helpful. This definitely seems to be the best approach for me. I'm a bit scared of telling people as I've only came out to my Dad and I was a nervous wreck and shaking all over. He's fine with it, but I found the whole experience really nerve wracking.
    Aww, I can empathise - my parents didn't react fantastically in the heat of the moment, but thankfully they're fine now. (I think it was just the shock!)

    Feel free to drop me a PM any time if it'd be at all beneficial.
    #15

    I hope no one minds me posting anonymously, not quite brave enough to post with my account yet. This might just turn into a big disjointed mess, so sorry if it does but it needs to come out!

    I'm really struggling with thoughts about my sexuality just lately and feel really confused about it all. (I'm a 21 year old girl btw!)
    Just over a month ago I ended a one and a half year relationship with a boyfriend for a few reasons. For years i've felt attraction to women but i've never entertained the idea of not being straight until the past 2-3 years, and even then the idea scared me too much to really contemplate, these feelings have intensified in recent months and especially in the month since splitting with my ex. At my school there was quite a bit of homophobic nastiness going around, and I distinctly remember a boy coming up to me and asking if I was a lesbian as I spent a lot of time with a female friend, and then I said no, and he said something like 'well you act like one' and walked off to laugh at me with his friends, so I wonder if all that has made me repress this so much until recently. I never really knew any lgbt people to identify with so there was no kind of 'roadmap' that was anything different than 'girls like boys' around.

    I have always struggled with the idea of having sex with a man, not really wanting it that much, feeling very disconnected from it etc. but in the last part of my relationship with my ex I really struggled, rarely if ever wanted sex with him despite finding him an attractive person, I found the idea of being penetrated really unnattractive and began to be in pain whenever we tried because I just wasn't getting turned on enough as I was anticipating unwanted penetration all the time (this sounds a bit rapey, it wasn't like that!). This was part of what led me to start questioning my sexuality again. Even now the idea of having sex with a man is really unappealing to me, although I have lots of male friends, and still feel a strong emotional connection to my ex boyfriend (we're still good friends).

    Since splitting with him and seriously consider whether I might be a lesbian or bisexual I feel an enourmous amount of relief, but at the same time fear and confusion, which sounds really contradictory. I feel as though a lot of stuff in the past makes sense in light of me possibly being gay/bisexual, and that it really feels like me, but although I am very sexually attracted to women and would love to see what it was like to be in a relationship with one, I am scared to pursue this firstly because it's scary, and secondly because I don't want to mess about with someone's else's feelings when i'm not sure of my own.

    I have considered going along to the lgbt society at my uni, as they do bisexual meet up events which I have so far chickened out of going to, but I feel like I wouldn't be legitimate to go there because i'm still so confused about what's going on with me, if that makes any sense.

    I just wanted to type all this out to some people who hopefully understand what i'm on about, and to I guess find out whether anyone else has ever felt the same?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I hope no one minds me posting anonymously, not quite brave enough to post with my account yet. This might just turn into a big disjointed mess, so sorry if it does but it needs to come out!

    I'm really struggling with thoughts about my sexuality just lately and feel really confused about it all. (I'm a 21 year old girl btw!)
    Just over a month ago I ended a one and a half year relationship with a boyfriend for a few reasons. For years i've felt attraction to women but i've never entertained the idea of not being straight until the past 2-3 years, and even then the idea scared me too much to really contemplate, these feelings have intensified in recent months and especially in the month since splitting with my ex. At my school there was quite a bit of homophobic nastiness going around, and I distinctly remember a boy coming up to me and asking if I was a lesbian as I spent a lot of time with a female friend, and then I said no, and he said something like 'well you act like one' and walked off to laugh at me with his friends, so I wonder if all that has made me repress this so much until recently. I never really knew any lgbt people to identify with so there was no kind of 'roadmap' that was anything different than 'girls like boys' around.

    I have always struggled with the idea of having sex with a man, not really wanting it that much, feeling very disconnected from it etc. but in the last part of my relationship with my ex I really struggled, rarely if ever wanted sex with him despite finding him an attractive person, I found the idea of being penetrated really unnattractive and began to be in pain whenever we tried because I just wasn't getting turned on enough as I was anticipating unwanted penetration all the time (this sounds a bit rapey, it wasn't like that!). This was part of what led me to start questioning my sexuality again. Even now the idea of having sex with a man is really unappealing to me, although I have lots of male friends, and still feel a strong emotional connection to my ex boyfriend (we're still good friends).

    Since splitting with him and seriously consider whether I might be a lesbian or bisexual I feel an enourmous amount of relief, but at the same time fear and confusion, which sounds really contradictory. I feel as though a lot of stuff in the past makes sense in light of me possibly being gay/bisexual, and that it really feels like me, but although I am very sexually attracted to women and would love to see what it was like to be in a relationship with one, I am scared to pursue this firstly because it's scary, and secondly because I don't want to mess about with someone's else's feelings when i'm not sure of my own.

    I have considered going along to the lgbt society at my uni, as they do bisexual meet up events which I have so far chickened out of going to, but I feel like I wouldn't be legitimate to go there because i'm still so confused about what's going on with me, if that makes any sense.

    I just wanted to type all this out to some people who hopefully understand what i'm on about, and to I guess find out whether anyone else has ever felt the same?
    Yeah, I can empathise completely. :hugs: If you drop me a PM I'd be happy to talk about this with you "privately" (you can create a new account for this purpose if you'd rather, so I won't be able to connect you to your main one).

    It's not that I don't want to reply here - I just think sensitive things like this are better discussed one on one!

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Updated: December 4, 2013
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