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AQA ENGLISH LIT: UNSEEN. What did you guys do?

The poem was SYMPTOMS by Sophie Hannah.

Although you have given me a stomach upset,
Weak knees, a lurching heart, a fuzzy brain,
A high-pitched laugh, a monumental phone bill,
A feeling of unworthiness, sharp pain
When you are somewhere else, a guilty conscience,
A longing, and a dread of what’s in store,
A pulse rate for the Guinness Book of Records -
Life now is better than it was before.

Although you have given me a raging temper,
Insomnia, a rising sense of panic,
A hopeless challenge, bouts of introspection,
Raw, bitten nails, a voice that’s strangely manic,
A selfish streak, a fear of isolation,
A silly smile, lips that are chapped and sore,
A running joke, a risk, an inspiration –
Life now is better than it was before.

Although you have given me a premonition,
Chattering teeth, a goal, a lot to lose,
A granted wish, mixed motives, superstitions,
Hang-ups and headaches, fear of awful news,
A bubble in my throat, a dare to swallow,
A crack of light under a closing door,
The crude, fantastic prospect of forever –
Life now is better that it was before.

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I wrote about how love can have both positive and negative effects on a person. I talked about "stomach upset" and how its similar to butterflies in your tummy when you are either excited or nervous - prehaps the speaker is nervous at the fact she feels she isn't good enough for her lover. There are always expectations of what people should be like. I talked about the sacrifices that you have to make in a relationship: "monumental phone bill" and how that the speaker was prepared to spend her money and make sacrifices for the one she loves :smile:
I talked about her uncertainty in love as she seems to have anxiety ('dread of what's in store') and shows that love can be unpredictable. There were caesuras in the poem which make her change her mind on love several times. I also said she repeats the refrain every stanza (the last line) which implies she's dependant on love for happiness.
These were my main points:
- 'Symptoms' has medical connotations as do the references to parts of the body showing it's a disease that needs to be cured
- Each stanza was a long sentence gradually getting more and more frantic
- The commas/caesuras make the reader read it faster and show that every time they thought of something, they thought of another
- The full stop after each stanza shows that no matter how many problems they have, at the end everything is ok
- The repeated use of now, anchors the poem in today and shows that they are living in the moment and they feel all these things at once
- There are good thing interspersed in the bad, which shows that the few positives make up for all the negatives
- Talking about forever at the end brings the poem ingot he future and suggests the voice thinks love will be around forever
Reply 4
Avatar for candv
candv
3
Did anyone say that her love drove her to killing her lover and then committing suicide in the unseen? "mixed motives, superstitions" etc and there was no evidence that it was a two-way love but more of an obsession? And then at the end with "a dare to swallow, A crack of light under a closing door" almost as if the light is the light you see before death and then "crude" shows how raw death is as it's the only thing definite in life? Also talked about the postives but how it kind of shifted in the final stanza
Reply 5
Avatar for Cherx
Cherx
20
Original post by candv
Did anyone say that her love drove her to killing her lover and then committing suicide in the unseen? "mixed motives, superstitions" etc and there was no evidence that it was a two-way love but more of an obsession? And then at the end with "a dare to swallow, A crack of light under a closing door" almost as if the light is the light you see before death and then "crude" shows how raw death is as it's the only thing definite in life? Also talked about the postives but how it kind of shifted in the final stanza


Erm well I only talked about how love was negative lool
Original post by candv
Did anyone say that her love drove her to killing her lover and then committing suicide in the unseen? "mixed motives, superstitions" etc and there was no evidence that it was a two-way love but more of an obsession? And then at the end with "a dare to swallow, A crack of light under a closing door" almost as if the light is the light you see before death and then "crude" shows how raw death is as it's the only thing definite in life? Also talked about the postives but how it kind of shifted in the final stanza


Wow I literally just said how love comes with negative symptoms but it is worth it


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Did anyone else write about It having a rising iambic pentameter? Not sure whether that was right or not :smile:
How much did people write for it? I did 1 page and 3/4 :/ But my handwriting is really small.
Some of these points seem better than mine, can you still get a good grade if you don't talk about the medical side, you don't talk about the anaphora or the refrain...?

My main points were the irregular rhyme scheme showing love has imperfections, the 7 stanzas mainly focusing on negatives (lexical field of negative adjectives) overriden by 1 repeated positive line shows the power of love, light imagery shows that love gives hope and a meaning to our lives.


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Reply 10
Avatar for pryze_
pryze_
3
- Repetition of the last line on each stanza shows how all the things that were said above doesn't affect anything (love).
- Repetition of the word 'Although' also shows how all the things don't matter.
- The long list of negative things suggest that even the worst of things don't seem to matter/change the fact you're in love.
- Punctuation: heavy use of commas shows the speaker is spilling/pouring out her feelings and emotions quickly. Use of hyphens show the end of the list or a pause.

Wrote a page and a paragraph. You really don't need to write much in the Unseen part. I have an exemplar where the candidate only wrote a page and got full marks. Quality over quantity.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by neil20143
How much did people write for it? I did 1 page and 3/4 :/ But my handwriting is really small.


I wrote 2 with quite big handwriting but thats fine as it's more about the actual quality not quantity


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Reply 12
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1256601
9
Original post by pryze_
- Repetition of the last line on each stanza shows how all the things that were said above doesn't affect anything (love).
- Repetiton of the word 'Although' also shows how all the things don't matter.
- The long list of negative things suggest that even the worst of things don't seem to matter/change the fact you're in love.
- Punctuation: heavy use of commas shows the speaker is spilling/pouring out her feelings and emotions quickly. Use of hyphens show the end of the list or a pause.

Wrote a page and a paragraph. You really don't need to write much in the Unseen part. I have an exemplar where the candidate only wrote a page and got full marks. Quality over quantity.


Finally, someone that also wrote about the repetition

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One thing I commented on was the rhyme scheme and how the 2nd and 4th line of each stanza as well as the 6th and 8th rhymed. I said this could represent how every relationship has good times interwoven with bad times.
I wrote about how the first stanza was like the "teenage obsession" with the "monumental phone bill", "feeling of unworthiness" etc, the seond was about mid-life e.g. having kids: "insomnia", "raging temper", "a risk" and the final stanza about the later years in life: "superstitions", "fear of awful news", "fantastic prospect of forever"
Original post by Matthew13
Some of these points seem better than mine, can you still get a good grade if you don't talk about the medical side, you don't talk about the anaphora or the refrain...?

My main points were the irregular rhyme scheme showing love has imperfections, the 7 stanzas mainly focusing on negatives (lexical field of negative adjectives) overriden by 1 repeated positive line shows the power of love, light imagery shows that love gives hope and a meaning to our lives.


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7 stanzas? there are only 3.... or have i misunderstood the last four years of poetry... :O please noooooo
i wrote about it being an abusive relationship? or at least having unhealthy connotations e.g. the title (medical), the word "crack" has a violent undertone, the fact she is always nervous, repeating "Life now is better that it was before" to convince herself everything is okay ????
One thing that I talked about that nobody has mentioned was that the speaker was using unsophisticated language such as "fuzzy" and "silly" which contributed to the idea that the love they shared was young, innocent and pure. I also linked this to the love being naive and having connotations to negativity.

However, I don't know if this is correct as at the end of the day, poetry is subjective and it depends what examiner marks your paper. If it's a harsh one that doesn't agree with your points then you might not get a good grade.
Original post by afromaths
One thing that I talked about that nobody has mentioned was that the speaker was using unsophisticated language such as "fuzzy" and "silly" which contributed to the idea that the love they shared was young, innocent and pure. I also linked this to the love being naive and having connotations to negativity.

However, I don't know if this is correct as at the end of the day, poetry is subjective and it depends what examiner marks your paper. If it's a harsh one that doesn't agree with your points then you might not get a good grade.


That's a very good point and well backed up so even if the examiner doesn't "agree" with it, it's still detailed language analysis


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Original post by Dave1999
One thing I commented on was the rhyme scheme and how the 2nd and 4th line of each stanza as well as the 6th and 8th rhymed. I said this could represent how every relationship has good times interwoven with bad times.


I said this too! I have been waiting for someone to bring it up hahaha:smile:

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