The Student Room Group

Bad male relationships, can I make friends in CompSci at uni?

Don't have to read this bit, just a disclaimer saying I don't have an unnecessary hatred of men:

I'm a girl and I'm very apprehensive of straight men as I've been harassed frequently throughout my teenage years. For 3 years I had a stalker in the year above me (now reported to have sexually assaulted another girl while he was a uni, lucky escape for me I guess). I've had unwanted attention from men younger and older than me, even my friends dad tried to grope me while he thought I was drunk. I've been verbally abused with catcalling and another male friend threatened to rape me 'as a joke'. So I do have my reasons for being apprehensive, I'm not misandrous.

TL;DR I can't make positive, friendships with straight guys. All my male friends aren't straight.

I'm going to study Computer Science next year at uni. I have a nice face but my figure isn't 'sexy' (flat chested and scrawny). I'm worried my apprehension of straight men is going to stop me from making friends on my course because I'll just be abused again.

So are attitudes towards women in CompSci particularly unpleasant? Or am I just worried about nothing? I just need reassurance really. If anyone has any experience or input I'd be grateful. :smile:
i did Computer Science at uni; the males outnumbered the females there. so during your first lecture, if you're still uneasy, just spot a row of females in the lecture hall and sit among them
Reply 2
Original post by shawn_o1
i did Computer Science at uni; the males outnumbered the females there. so during your first lecture, if you're still uneasy, just spot a row of females in the lecture hall and sit among them


Thought this thread died or something. Thanks for the advice, I can't imagine I'll be the only girl there / only girl feeling uneasy in such a male dominant course. I just hope I can make friends with some decent guys and shift this paranoia :P
I'm a girl in my second year doing comp sci and the thing I've noticed is guys making sexist comments or rolling their eyes when I ask a question - no sexual harassment just guys who are used to their mums doing everything for them being immature. I don't have many guy friends on my actual course because I'm not into games and I like clubbing and going out so I don't have much in common with them but at uni that doesn't actually matter as it's easy to find and make friends on other courses. Yeah sitting with other girls is cool but don't force it if you don't really like them cause there's no need when you can find people you have more in common with through societies and stuff :smile:
Original post by pinksugar
I'm a girl in my second year doing comp sci and the thing I've noticed is guys making sexist comments or rolling their eyes when I ask a question - no sexual harassment just guys who are used to their mums doing everything for them being immature. I don't have many guy friends on my actual course because I'm not into games and I like clubbing and going out so I don't have much in common with them but at uni that doesn't actually matter as it's easy to find and make friends on other courses. Yeah sitting with other girls is cool but don't force it if you don't really like them cause there's no need when you can find people you have more in common with through societies and stuff :smile:


This actually worries me as a rather sociable dude myself.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Doing compsci next year. I'm worried because I have an active lifestyle and am mostly friends with girls (including having a girlfriend), I like clubbing and all that.... I feel like I won't fit in to these classes.

So OP if you are going to a Bham. We can be friends :P
Its not a good thing but your 'harassment' history is literally what every girl goes through during high school/college...you shouldn't let it make you afraid of straight men in any situation.

The next time something happens to you learn to deal with it rather than let it take you over!
Original post by Princepieman
This actually worries me as a rather sociable dude myself.

Posted from TSR Mobile


Don't worry, honestly! Within the couple of hundred people in your department (my uni mixes some comp sci units with computing), where yo live (in a house/halls), or through joining a society, you have more than enough opportunity to make friends to go clubbing with. Trust me :smile:
Original post by pinksugar
Don't worry, honestly! Within the couple of hundred people in your department (my uni mixes some comp sci units with computing), where yo live (in a house/halls), or through joining a society, you have more than enough opportunity to make friends to go clubbing with. Trust me :smile:


Haha, that's true! I'm sure there will be some social butterflies within the 110 person year group!

Where do you go to uni, out of interest?

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Princepieman
Haha, that's true! I'm sure there will be some social butterflies within the 110 person year group!

Where do you go to uni, out of interest?

Posted from TSR Mobile


Pompey :smile: yeah uni has lot of people!
Original post by pinksugar
I'm a girl in my second year doing comp sci and the thing I've noticed is guys making sexist comments or rolling their eyes when I ask a question - no sexual harassment just guys who are used to their mums doing everything for them being immature. I don't have many guy friends on my actual course because I'm not into games and I like clubbing and going out so I don't have much in common with them but at uni that doesn't actually matter as it's easy to find and make friends on other courses. Yeah sitting with other girls is cool but don't force it if you don't really like them cause there's no need when you can find people you have more in common with through societies and stuff :smile:


Yeah, I was thinking I'd make a lot more friends in college than in the actual course. I'm not too worried anymore since speaking to some of my female STEM friends (they haven't had to deal with anything too bad, just what you said really). Thanks! :smile:


Original post by ScruffyQuaver
Doing compsci next year. I'm worried because I have an active lifestyle and am mostly friends with girls (including having a girlfriend), I like clubbing and all that.... I feel like I won't fit in to these classes.

So OP if you are going to a Bham. We can be friends :P


Durham sorry! But good luck, if you enjoy clubbing you're probably very sociable and friendly so even if you don't have shared interests I'm sure you'll make friends :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Don't have to read this bit, just a disclaimer saying I don't have an unnecessary hatred of men:

I'm a girl and I'm very apprehensive of straight men as I've been harassed frequently throughout my teenage years. For 3 years I had a stalker in the year above me (now reported to have sexually assaulted another girl while he was a uni, lucky escape for me I guess). I've had unwanted attention from men younger and older than me, even my friends dad tried to grope me while he thought I was drunk. I've been verbally abused with catcalling and another male friend threatened to rape me 'as a joke'. So I do have my reasons for being apprehensive, I'm not misandrous.

TL;DR I can't make positive, friendships with straight guys. All my male friends aren't straight.

I'm going to study Computer Science next year at uni. I have a nice face but my figure isn't 'sexy' (flat chested and scrawny). I'm worried my apprehension of straight men is going to stop me from making friends on my course because I'll just be abused again.

So are attitudes towards women in CompSci particularly unpleasant? Or am I just worried about nothing? I just need reassurance really. If anyone has any experience or input I'd be grateful. :smile:


I'm doing CompSci also at uni and would love more friends as I don't have many. I'd say CompSci students, based on my experience, make better friends because they're the type of person who are more likely to be home playing games and talking.

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