I REALLY like this guy...

Its so hard trying to stay away from him because of 2 reasons. First he hangs out a lot with the people I hang out with and we are all really good close friends. Second the more I spend time with him, the more closer I feel to him and the more my feelings grow and the more I obsess... I see the problem :L

You're not a man. How can you say what he's like.

No matter how much a guy acts one way, our evolutionary instincts kick in when we see women.

For a potential date/gf/wife:
We look, brain registers traits we find attractive, brain convinces us we love her.

The way you're thinking:
We look, that does not matter...?! O_O
We experience their personality and fall in love with how they are as a person. No, No, No, No, Nope. Does not work like that at all. (only works for someone who has some attractive traits and her personality supplements for what she lacks)

+ to further iterate. Why do men cheat? Because they see someone nice looking and their brain says ooo we love her and boom.
So, if he looked at you and was attracted he would go for you in some capacity aswell as the person he likes.

Real talk.

Yep, you just have to be objective about the situation.

If you're in a position where you're suffering emotionally, it makes sense to distance yourself and 'recover'.

Sure, that can be unavoidable in group situations but less Skype and 1 on 1 meetings will only do you good.

And like I said, meeting people outside that group will help take your mind off him!

FFS, shut up, girls don't get friend zoned /s/

@swirly

Real talk. OP this guy is right, hate to say it but there's nothing here I disagree with.

He's just not that into you.

The ignorance is real here.

Sigh. So i cant get him because I'm ugly?

Don't change yourself so he'll like you. Best case scenario that could come out of that is he likes you for someone you aren't, and then you're going to have to spend your entire relationship living a lie. It won't make you happy. He's just not attracted to you (doesn't mean to say you're not attractive, you're just friend zoned.)

Who knows, something may happen in the future, but I don't think he's going to be any more attracted to you if he knows he can have you at the drop of a hat... it's not a nice way that the world works, but undeniably people want things a lot more when they think they can't have them. Sit tight, play cool, it's not a nice situation but it's not forever x

You're not a man. How can you say what he's like.

No matter how much a guy acts one way, our evolutionary instincts kick in when we see women.

For a potential date/gf/wife:
We look, brain registers traits we find attractive, brain convinces us we love her.

The way you're thinking:
We look, that does not matter...?! O_O
We experience their personality and fall in love with how they are as a person. No, No, No, No, Nope. Does not work like that at all. (only works for someone who has some attractive traits and her personality supplements for what she lacks)

+ to further iterate. Why do men cheat? Because they see someone nice looking and their brain says ooo we love her and boom.
So, if he looked at you and was attracted he would go for you in some capacity aswell as the person he likes.

Real talk.

I disagree. It will make things SUPER awkward and he might not even treat me the same anymore. I mean so far I LOVE how our relationship is but I just want it to go to the next level. Although I rather keep it how it is than for him to straight out reject me.

Show us a picture

There's always a way for those clever enough to find it. My advice?

Tip 1. Go to a bar on a night out
Tip 2. Make said person drink alcohol, but pretend that you drink a lot for extra encouragement.
Tip 3. Talk to said person
Tip 4. Seduce said person
Tip 5. Smooch
Tip 6. Ask him out
Tip 7. 99% sure it'll work. If in doubt, there is a riskier shortcut involving impregnation, in which case said person will have no choice but to marry you.

Works every time

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You're saying that you want to go to the next level which he won't let you since he doesn't feel the same way. Then you say you'd rather just be friends then be rejected cause you don't want to hear him say he doesn't like you. I know you're scared and so is he, you both treasure your friendship a lot but what will happen when he starts dating that girl? There are chances that he may introduce her to you guys which would be awkward for the both of you and you two might end up avoiding each other. Is that what you want?
No, right? It's hard but I think you should confess. (when you're ready)
It may take you a while to deal with the heartbreak but it's for the better and who knows maybe once you get over it you two can start fresh. I can tell he doesn't want to lose you as a friend nor does he want to keep leading you on so once you get over him, you too can at least stay friends.
Running away won't do you any good, it definitely won't fix anything and if you waste too much time he may end up being the one to tell you he doesn't like you, even if you don't ask. That is far more hurtful then rejection itself, so my advice is to take the first step rather then forcing him to take one for you.
Either way good luck.

"if you waste too much time he may end up being the one to tell you he doesn't like you, even if you don't ask" Would he be that straight up even if I havent said anything? Maybe I should tone down on the jokes of me obsessing? Or learn to be less clingy? I didnt realize it was a possibility that HE would initiate a rejection.

At the moment he acts like he doesn't know I actually do like him and that its just me joking about. Like when ever he is talking about other girls or the subject comes up, he will look at my friend (when talking about it) and avoid eye contact with me and I will just talk to my other friend or just slowly agree and act normal. I think thats what would happen if he did introduce another girl to us, we would all act normal and make her feel comfortable. Those are just our rules, we are happy for each other.

But is it not better that I just forget it and move on than have the massive heart break that may affect the whole group AND my friendship with him?

"if you waste too much time he may end up being the one to tell you he doesn't like you, even if you don't ask" Would he be that straight up even if I havent said anything? Maybe I should tone down on the jokes of me obsessing? Or learn to be less clingy? I didnt realize it was a possibility that HE would initiate a rejection.

Thanks for the advice

I see what you mean. Yes I feel like I should spend less time with him but we are always in a group with my 2 other close friends so its so hard to avoid. And if i ever get the chance the spend time alone with I WILL because I REALLY like him. But now I realize its probably not a good idea because my feelings get more intense each time.

Yes the great friendship is with ALL of us, not just him I guess its cause he's the only male in our group and nobody else in the group likes him that way. I didnt actually get naked but yeah more "pretending" xD We spend hours on skype call together and its just argh like you said intimate and cool experiences.

They ARE growing ;(

I've had (not so pretty) girls hit on me. It's very obvious when they do it and definitely an awkward experience.

I'd joke about it and pretend not to understand what their comments really meant, but it can get irritating and yes, he might tell you that enough is enough.

I'd say move on.