I REALLY like this guy...
but he likes someone else...
He has friendzoned me so bad and I feel like crying. We are part of a group and so we see each other all the time. He's really sweet and nice and kind and he respects women and he is funny and he just cares about people.
He knows that I have a thing for him because I always "creep" out loud with my friends and so its kind of the joke for me to "obsess" over him. Like when we were first low key friends, whenever he would come to hang out my friends would be all like "Oh shes gonna have a heart attack" and then I would pretend to be all hyper and fan girling. Or online I'll pretend I'm gonna find out where he lives during skype calls or whatnot.
However my friend has already told me that he likes someone else (him and my friend talk a lot) and so I cant really go there. He will also occasionally talk about this girl in group chat when im not there.
I know he likes me as a friend because he will always tell me that I should be studying (I'm a huge procrastinator) and that he just wants to the best for me. He offered to help me with a bunch of things. He respects me in the fact he doesn't want to see me naked (whilst I was joking about).
But I know he doesnt like me like that because once my friend asked him (in front of me) about me and he was just like "no comment" cause he probably didnt want to hurt my feelings and make it awkward.
But today we were chilling together (alone for once) and he was being so sweet (talking about the future) and then later we were on skype (group chat) and nobody else was in the room but him and me and he started playing the piano and singing random songs (most of them soft and sweet) because thats what he normally does (but with everyone there) and I'm just like "keep going next song" and he just kept doing it. And the feelings peaked so high and now I just dont know what to do.
I'm a puudde of mess.
He has friendzoned me so bad and I feel like crying. We are part of a group and so we see each other all the time. He's really sweet and nice and kind and he respects women and he is funny and he just cares about people.
He knows that I have a thing for him because I always "creep" out loud with my friends and so its kind of the joke for me to "obsess" over him. Like when we were first low key friends, whenever he would come to hang out my friends would be all like "Oh shes gonna have a heart attack" and then I would pretend to be all hyper and fan girling. Or online I'll pretend I'm gonna find out where he lives during skype calls or whatnot.
However my friend has already told me that he likes someone else (him and my friend talk a lot) and so I cant really go there. He will also occasionally talk about this girl in group chat when im not there.
I know he likes me as a friend because he will always tell me that I should be studying (I'm a huge procrastinator) and that he just wants to the best for me. He offered to help me with a bunch of things. He respects me in the fact he doesn't want to see me naked (whilst I was joking about).
But I know he doesnt like me like that because once my friend asked him (in front of me) about me and he was just like "no comment" cause he probably didnt want to hurt my feelings and make it awkward.
But today we were chilling together (alone for once) and he was being so sweet (talking about the future) and then later we were on skype (group chat) and nobody else was in the room but him and me and he started playing the piano and singing random songs (most of them soft and sweet) because thats what he normally does (but with everyone there) and I'm just like "keep going next song" and he just kept doing it. And the feelings peaked so high and now I just dont know what to do.
I'm a puudde of mess.
Scroll to see replies
Ouch.
That sounds like a really ****ty friendzone for sure. Only solution really is to find someone else - unless you're willing to wait for him to get with and break up with his crush, or risk waiting for him to get over that current infatuation and then claim him.
At least through that experience you can better empathise with others now - especially guys that you may end up intentionally or unintentionally friend-zoning in the future. And of course that works both ways.
That sounds like a really ****ty friendzone for sure. Only solution really is to find someone else - unless you're willing to wait for him to get with and break up with his crush, or risk waiting for him to get over that current infatuation and then claim him.
At least through that experience you can better empathise with others now - especially guys that you may end up intentionally or unintentionally friend-zoning in the future. And of course that works both ways.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by TorpidPhil
Ouch.
That sounds like a really ****ty friendzone for sure. Only solution really is to find someone else - unless you're willing to wait for him to get with and break up with his crush, or risk waiting for him to get over that current infatuation and then claim him.
At least through that experience you can better empathise with others now - especially guys that you may end up intentionally or unintentionally friend-zoning in the future. And of course that works both ways.
That sounds like a really ****ty friendzone for sure. Only solution really is to find someone else - unless you're willing to wait for him to get with and break up with his crush, or risk waiting for him to get over that current infatuation and then claim him.
At least through that experience you can better empathise with others now - especially guys that you may end up intentionally or unintentionally friend-zoning in the future. And of course that works both ways.
The thing is I will never be able to tell if he will ever like me like that and if we are just friends or not. So even if he stops liking this other girl, how do I know he will even like me?Yes omg, I have friendzoned guys before and now I feel so awful in doing so...
One small thing you could possibly do on top of what torpid Phil said is attempt to spend a little less time with him. Of course you still should, obviously don't become weird or blank him, act as normally as possible, but I would attempt to spend less time with him. Seems like you guys have a great friendship and bond so you definitely shouldn't throw that away, at the same time playing music together, having inside jokes, getting naked? These are such intimate and cool experiences to share together, if these moments continue your feelings are likely to carry on growing :/
Original post by iAmanze
You're not attractive enough for him.
...(or he is gay)
Only reasons why he would friendzone you. Now based on this you have two options. Do things to jazz up your physical appearance or move on.
...(or he is gay)
Only reasons why he would friendzone you. Now based on this you have two options. Do things to jazz up your physical appearance or move on.
Harsh, but TRUUUEEEE.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by iAmanze
You're not attractive enough for him.
...(or he is gay)
Only reasons why he would friendzone you. Now based on this you have two options. Do things to jazz up your physical appearance or move on.
...(or he is gay)
Only reasons why he would friendzone you. Now based on this you have two options. Do things to jazz up your physical appearance or move on.
OR because he really likes someone else?
He's not like that...
Original post by Anonymous
OR because he really likes someone else?
He's not like that...
He's not like that...
You're not a man. How can you say what he's like.
No matter how much a guy acts one way, our evolutionary instincts kick in when we see women.
For a potential date/gf/wife:
We look, brain registers traits we find attractive, brain convinces us we love her.
The way you're thinking:
We look, that does not matter...?! O_O
We experience their personality and fall in love with how they are as a person. No, No, No, No, Nope. Does not work like that at all. (only works for someone who has some attractive traits and her personality supplements for what she lacks)
+ to further iterate. Why do men cheat? Because they see someone nice looking and their brain says ooo we love her and boom.
So, if he looked at you and was attracted he would go for you in some capacity aswell as the person he likes.
Real talk.
Original post by Hannibal Scipio
One small thing you could possibly do on top of what torpid Phil said is attempt to spend a little less time with him. Of course you still should, obviously don't become weird or blank him, act as normally as possible, but I would attempt to spend less time with him. Seems like you guys have a great friendship and bond so you definitely shouldn't throw that away, at the same time playing music together, having inside jokes, getting naked? These are such intimate and cool experiences to share together, if these moments continue your feelings are likely to carry on growing :/
I see what you mean. Yes I feel like I should spend less time with him but we are always in a group with my 2 other close friends so its so hard to avoid. And if i ever get the chance the spend time alone with I WILL because I REALLY like him. But now I realize its probably not a good idea because my feelings get more intense each time.
Yes the great friendship is with ALL of us, not just him I guess its cause he's the only male in our group and nobody else in the group likes him that way. I didnt actually get naked but yeah more "pretending" xD We spend hours on skype call together and its just argh like you said intimate and cool experiences.
They ARE growing ;(
Original post by iAmanze
You're not a man. How can you say what he's like.
No matter how much a guy acts one way, our evolutionary instincts kick in when we see women.
For a potential date/gf/wife:
We look, brain registers traits we find attractive, brain convinces us we love her.
The way you're thinking:
We look, that does not matter...?! O_O
We experience their personality and fall in love with how they are as a person. No, No, No, No, Nope. Does not work like that at all. (only works for someone who has some attractive traits and her personality supplements for what she lacks)
+ to further iterate. Why do men cheat? Because they see someone nice looking and their brain says ooo we love her and boom.
So, if he looked at you and was attracted he would go for you in some capacity aswell as the person he likes.
Real talk.
No matter how much a guy acts one way, our evolutionary instincts kick in when we see women.
For a potential date/gf/wife:
We look, brain registers traits we find attractive, brain convinces us we love her.
The way you're thinking:
We look, that does not matter...?! O_O
We experience their personality and fall in love with how they are as a person. No, No, No, No, Nope. Does not work like that at all. (only works for someone who has some attractive traits and her personality supplements for what she lacks)
+ to further iterate. Why do men cheat? Because they see someone nice looking and their brain says ooo we love her and boom.
So, if he looked at you and was attracted he would go for you in some capacity aswell as the person he likes.
Real talk.
Sigh. So i cant get him because I'm ugly?
Original post by Anonymous
Sigh. So i cant get him because I'm ugly?
Not ugly no, just not what his brain is telling him is a catch. Therefore if you want this guy you're going to have to do what it takes which is enhance features which he likes in a girl.
Find a way to ask him. Show him pictures of people and see what he says, why he likes/ does not like them.
"omg this girl is so pretty, what do you think?" and go from there.
Then go about adopting what he likes... (within reason don't go performing plastic surgery for him lol)
**** relationships
get money.
get money.
Original post by iAmanze
Not ugly no, just not what his brain is telling him is a catch. Therefore if you want this guy you're going to have to do what it takes which is enhance features which he likes in a girl.
Find a way to ask him. Show him pictures of people and see what he says, why he likes/ does not like them.
"omg this girl is so pretty, what do you think?" and go from there.
Then go about adopting what he likes... (within reason don't go performing plastic surgery for him lol)
Find a way to ask him. Show him pictures of people and see what he says, why he likes/ does not like them.
"omg this girl is so pretty, what do you think?" and go from there.
Then go about adopting what he likes... (within reason don't go performing plastic surgery for him lol)
Yeah we've been through that. My friend who is gay always shares the girls she likes with him and hes like oh yeah shes cute or sometimes he will flirt with her like oooh ur looking cute today (its not awkward since they always talk and shes gay). Most of the girls he picks ARE pretty so that just means i have to be to their standard of pretty which im not.
Maybe I should start wearing make up... i dont know. Sigh. It would have been comforting to know there was another reason he didnt like me besides "not pretty enough"
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah we've been through that. My friend who is gay always shares the girls she likes with him and hes like oh yeah shes cute or sometimes he will flirt with her like oooh ur looking cute today (its not awkward since they always talk and shes gay). Most of the girls he picks ARE pretty so that just means i have to be to their standard of pretty which im not.
Maybe I should start wearing make up... i dont know. Sigh. It would have been comforting to know there was another reason he didnt like me besides "not pretty enough"
Maybe I should start wearing make up... i dont know. Sigh. It would have been comforting to know there was another reason he didnt like me besides "not pretty enough"
Men are visual creatures. Most would jump as dating a woman that does not have two brain cells to rub together if she is what they are looking for physically.
But comforting, many guys out there would find you very much their type as each of us are programmed to like different things. You most probably have someone crushing over you right now posting on some forum somewhere about how to get your affection
Original post by iAmanze
Men are visual creatures. Most would jump as dating a woman that does not have two brain cells to rub together if she is what they are looking for physically.
But comforting, many guys out there would find you very much their type as each of us are programmed to like different things. You most probably have someone crushing over you right now posting on some forum somewhere about how to get your affection
But comforting, many guys out there would find you very much their type as each of us are programmed to like different things. You most probably have someone crushing over you right now posting on some forum somewhere about how to get your affection
Ehhh:L Thanks for trying to make me feel better though
Original post by Anonymous
But I know he doesnt like me like that because once my friend asked him (in front of me) about me and he was just like "no comment" cause he probably didnt want to hurt my feelings and make it awkward..
how would you feel if someone asked you that in front of someone you like? Embarrased? Have you ever told him how you feel? You never know he may feel the same, but he's hiding it...
If he is turning out to be a visual based man for finding a girl, you shouldn't have to change yourself just so you can fit his ideals. Plus, he might think you're really attractive but have other reasons to like the other girl. If he did change his views on you because of looks, that would make him shallow, and this guy doesn't spear to be coming across as shallow from the way you've described him.
Don't change your physical appearance for a guy, if it's not you. I've had friends who have been there and done that, and the relationship then becomes unhealthy because they constantly have to wear short skirts or makeup, which makes them feel uncomfortable because it's not them.
Maybe when you are alone, just ask it to the point. It might seem hard, but it's a lot better than constantly wondering, then regretting not asking later on. Then, you could work something out from there.
Really hope this helps, good luck with it all
Mo
Don't change your physical appearance for a guy, if it's not you. I've had friends who have been there and done that, and the relationship then becomes unhealthy because they constantly have to wear short skirts or makeup, which makes them feel uncomfortable because it's not them.
Maybe when you are alone, just ask it to the point. It might seem hard, but it's a lot better than constantly wondering, then regretting not asking later on. Then, you could work something out from there.
Really hope this helps, good luck with it all
Mo
Original post by Leccyspark
how would you feel if someone asked you that in front of someone you like? Embarrassed? Have you ever told him how you feel? You never know he may feel the same, but he's hiding it...
He knows I like him because of the whole "obsessed" joke. And whenever we bring up the topic he will try to refrain from participating and just laugh. I mean he could have joked back that he did like me if he wanted to? He seems to compliment every other girl he finds pretty or attractive but not me.
Besides he really likes this other girl... who he always talks about when I'm not there:L They've even joked about him marrying her! I wish I could find out more about this girl but I dont wanna make things awkward...
Buy him Mortal Kombat X and you'll win him over 
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Is it gay for a guy to compliment another guys haircut?
- Why girls play hard to get?
- Girls; if you found out a guy was fantasising over your photos...
- Question to girls who are 5'3'' and under
- Do guys really like these kinds of girls?
- Why don’t I get as much male attention compared to my friends?
- Do guys like cute girls
- Why girls like tall guys
- Boys
- Love triangle?
- Is this guy gay or what does this mean?
- If a girl is already dating a guy does that mean she doesn't want to date you?
- I feel guilty
- what are boys attracted to?
- is 4 foot 6 bad for a girl
- I am not sure how to approach my crush at my college
- Petite skinny girls.
- Do girls actually like giving head.........?
- A question for straight men
- Is 5,1 too short
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
