The Student Room Group

How to come out as gay to family?

I'm a 20 year old lad and have been 'out' to most of my mates for a year or two. I've now got a boyfriend and think it's time to tell my family. How do I do it? I'm don't fit the stereotypical image of a gay man but don't think they will be completely surprised either. What to do? Please help

Scroll to see replies

"I'm gay"

P much it.
Ahh this is hard, but it doesn't have to be.

I suggest doing it one by one with your parents first, depending on who you're closest to maybe. Maybe go for your mum first? Tell her your feelings...etc and she will accept you for who you are.

You should however go into this expecting tears and shock, which is obviously normal.

Things/people may take time to adjust to this, but they will come around.

I suggest watching coming out videos on youtube for inspiration and motivation, and to learn about people's experiences.

Good luck and let me know how it all goes!
Original post by Jahe
I'm don't fit the stereotypical image of a gay man but don't think they will be completely surprised either.


You don't have to look gay to be gay, make that clear to them! It's purely an emotional thing and has nothing to do with your appearance :smile:
Original post by Jahe
I'm a 20 year old lad and have been 'out' to most of my mates for a year or two. I've now got a boyfriend and think it's time to tell my family. How do I do it? I'm don't fit the stereotypical image of a gay man but don't think they will be completely surprised either. What to do? Please help


Just rock up to your Dad and be like,

'Team Edward or team Jacob Dad? I'm definitely team Jacob. It's taken me six years to decide but omg those muscles.'

OR

'How annoying is it that we have to wait until November for the Hunger Games to come out? I want to see Gale's face NOW! What? No I didn't say Katniss' face. Gale. G-A-L-E. Yes he is a boy. No his man sausage doesn't bother me. What's that you say? Gay? Why yes I am. Glad you worked that one out Dad. Didn't know how I was going to tell you.'
Masturbate furiously while maintaining eye contact using homosexual material.

* If you run out of options
Reply 6
introduce them to your bf
Reply 7
I dont remember announcing my sexuality to my parents, why should you have to worry about it. (Im not gay but still)
Reply 8
OP, best of luck man. I hope it all goes well.

I'd suggest being direct about it. Unnecessary words make it more difficult!

Original post by O.Ozz
First and foremost let me state the obivous. that i think everyone should take notice of how we have a brave Person in our mist :smile:. I mean honestly, i mean no disrespect to you but you want to break out to your parents that you are gay?! after they brought you up into this world?

I'm not against homesexuals please, im AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY. This is a sin, its atrocious. I find it upsetting i really do. The bible speaks about this and God made it clear for man and woman to be together

I'm actually upset, i really i am. If you were at my home country Nigeria and you said this, you would be sent the death penalty, not only Nigeria but other countries as well. Look, i understand its a choice, i accept this, gay people i guess are fun, But seriously and i dont know how your family will take it, i mean God help me, It's your life. If you want to ruin this, then tell, if you don't, CHANGE. ITS EASY TO CHANGE.

I can PM you (or anyone else) about pastors on youtube preaching about this subject. I'm not crazy, its just what i have seen in the past


If you base this on Christianity, you're deluded. I'm ashamed to share the same religion with people like you. Truly ashamed.

All I have to say here.

Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Zahid~
I dont remember announcing my sexuality to my parents, why should you have to worry about it. (Im not gay but still)


Thing is people assume straight unless told otherwise.
Original post by Jahe
I'm a 20 year old lad and have been 'out' to most of my mates for a year or two. I've now got a boyfriend and think it's time to tell my family. How do I do it? I'm don't fit the stereotypical image of a gay man but don't think they will be completely surprised either. What to do? Please help


There isn't a model answer to this, but don't over complicate it. Tell the parent you're closest to, alone, and just be honest and clear.

"I've got something to tell you."
"I'm gay."

That's usually the easiest way to do it.
Original post by Zahid~
I dont remember announcing my sexuality to my parents, why should you have to worry about it. (Im not gay but still)


How enlightening. Thanks for that input. :rolleyes:
Original post by O.Ozz
First and foremost let me state the obivous. that i think everyone should take notice of how we have a brave Person in our mist :smile:. I mean honestly, i mean no disrespect to you but you want to break out to your parents that you are gay?! after they brought you up into this world?

I'm not against homesexuals please, im AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY. This is a sin, its atrocious. I find it upsetting i really do. The bible speaks about this and God made it clear for man and woman to be together

I'm actually upset, i really i am. If you were at my home country Nigeria and you said this, you would be sent the death penalty, not only Nigeria but other countries as well. Look, i understand its a choice, i accept this, gay people i guess are fun, But seriously and i dont know how your family will take it, i mean God help me, It's your life. If you want to ruin this, then tell, if you don't, CHANGE. ITS EASY TO CHANGE.

I can PM you (or anyone else) about pastors on youtube preaching about this subject. I'm not crazy, its just what i have seen in the past


It's been a long time since I seen someone this brain washed. I feel sorry for you and the gay people in that country.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by O.Ozz
First and foremost let me state the obivous. that i think everyone should take notice of how we have a brave Person in our mist :smile:. I mean honestly, i mean no disrespect to you but you want to break out to your parents that you are gay?! after they brought you up into this world?

I'm not against homesexuals please, im AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY. This is a sin, its atrocious. I find it upsetting i really do. The bible speaks about this and God made it clear for man and woman to be together

I'm actually upset, i really i am. If you were at my home country Nigeria and you said this, you would be sent the death penalty, not only Nigeria but other countries as well. Look, i understand its a choice, i accept this, gay people i guess are fun, But seriously and i dont know how your family will take it, i mean God help me, It's your life. If you want to ruin this, then tell, if you don't, CHANGE. ITS EASY TO CHANGE.

I can PM you (or anyone else) about pastors on youtube preaching about this subject. I'm not crazy, its just what i have seen in the past


Wow. If you are so against homosexuality maybe you can go and join those muppets in Nigeria who deem it worthy of death- instead of bringing your bigotry and hatred over here.
And yes. It is bigotry and hatred (however much you might dress it up in kind language and pleasantries)- implying it would be awful to tell his parents this after they've 'brought him into the world' as if he is now less worthy of existence.
Why do you think it is a choice? Could you decide to be Gay if you wanted to? Could you suddenly find a man attractive?? Think about that carefully. If no- then what makes you think anyone else could choose to without being born that way?
I thought Jesus loved and accepted everyone.
Original post by O.Ozz
First and foremost let me state the obivous. that i think everyone should take notice of how we have a brave Person in our mist :smile:. I mean honestly, i mean no disrespect to you but you want to break out to your parents that you are gay?! after they brought you up into this world?

I'm not against homesexuals please, im AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY. This is a sin, its atrocious. I find it upsetting i really do. The bible speaks about this and God made it clear for man and woman to be together

I'm actually upset, i really i am. If you were at my home country Nigeria and you said this, you would be sent the death penalty, not only Nigeria but other countries as well. Look, i understand its a choice, i accept this, gay people i guess are fun, But seriously and i dont know how your family will take it, i mean God help me, It's your life. If you want to ruin this, then tell, if you don't, CHANGE. ITS EASY TO CHANGE.

I can PM you (or anyone else) about pastors on youtube preaching about this subject. I'm not crazy, its just what i have seen in the past


****. Do you know what I've forgotten to do today? Eat the poo poo. Damnit. I'm such a ****ing awful gay. :sigh:

Genuinely, I really couldn't give a **** what your thoughts are about homosexuality. If you want to debate this, go to D&CA and get mauled for your utterly appalling and retrograde beliefs. This guy's looking for advice and you preaching to him with this ridiculous nonsense is not helpful.
Original post by O.Ozz
I'm not against homesexuals please

lol

Spoiler

in the form of a thuper fabulous solo musical/dance performance!!!
Leave a note on the fridge :colone: At least I was prepared to communicate with my mum in notes because I was too scared to tell her :laugh:
Reply 18
Original post by TheWaffle
I thought Jesus loved and accepted everyone.


And he does!!! He wants everyone to accept him in his heart.

I'm not perfect, i'm trying to build my relationship with God so that i can stop swearing, masturbating, having depression, being sad and maybe i will be saved. It takes a long time to receive the holy spirit.
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 19
Original post by Mad Vlad
****. Do you know what I've forgotten to do today? Eat the poo poo. Damnit. I'm such a ****ing awful gay. :sigh:
Genuinely, I really couldn't give a **** what your thoughts are about homosexuality. If you want to debate this, go to D&CA and get mauled for your utterly appalling and retrograde beliefs. This guy's looking for advice and you preaching to him with this ridiculous nonsense is not helpful.


gosh :sigh: sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry then.

It wasn't to offend, i just find the OP's question very obvious that consequences will be made.

As i said i'm not against homosexuals

Quick Reply

Latest