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Are men that bothered about having children?

I don't want children and was told by a man that most men are not that bothered about having kids due to the time dedicated, lifetime cost etc. he said it tends to be the woman who wants them and that men don't really care about it. Is this true? Should I not be so worried about finding a man who doesn't want them like me?

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Some men do and some men don't. Don't worry too much about it I'd say, but it's important to know if the man wants children or not before things get serious or long term


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I am. I dare say my willingness to want to have a family correlated very positively with my intellectual maturity and understanding of my own life goals, position and purpose.

Granted such is just incompatible with the goals of many folks.

Males in general will be more selfish, they emotionally mature at a later time usually. They're quite a bit more... apathetic in general about life I would say. I think all these things correlate with not wanting kids but I think all of those things are far less prevalent when in the mid 20s or nearly 30 than they are in other males of my own age (19 +/- 2years or so).
I am.
Yeah, a surprising number are. I didn't want kids until my fiance mentioned it. Before him I always figured that if I ever had a kid then it would just be an accident. :dontknow: He's into the whole planning **** which I never even considered because parenting... :puke: Having to be a 24/7 slave to babies then toddlers then children... :puke: ...then teenagers. :headfire: Other than him I know a hell of a lot of guys who are into the idea. In today's society it seems like more women are being put off the idea of having kids than men are because they feel pressured to prove themselves as independent career women and having children kind of puts that on hold. While that's happening, a lot more men are getting into the idea of having a family because the role of the father has changed. Men now hold a bigger place in their children's lives than they had ever done in the past so they actually look forward to it. Today fathers don't just take on the breadwinner role in their families -- they take on this new late 20th/21st Century family man ideal where dad is caring and fun and loving. Because of that and so many other reasons that I'm too tired to list, we have now got more guys than ever before who are bothered about having children.
Reply 5
Original post by Vixen47
Yeah, a surprising number are. I didn't want kids until my fiance mentioned it. Before him I always figured that if I ever had a kid then it would just be an accident. :dontknow: He's into the whole planning **** which I never even considered because parenting... :puke: Having to be a 24/7 slave to babies then toddlers then children... :puke: ...then teenagers. :headfire: Other than him I know a hell of a lot of guys who are into the idea. In today's society it seems like more women are being put off the idea of having kids than men are because they feel pressured to prove themselves as independent career women and having children kind of puts that on hold. While that's happening, a lot more men are getting into the idea of having a family because the role of the father has changed. Men now hold a bigger place in their children's lives than they had ever done in the past so they actually look forward to it. Today fathers don't just take on the breadwinner role in their families -- they take on this new late 20th/21st Century family man ideal where dad is caring and fun and loving. Because of that and so many other reasons that I'm too tired to list, we have now got more guys than ever before who are bothered about having children.


Oh god! you're back.:colonhash:
Original post by Maradiah
Oh god! you're back.:colonhash:


I know anytime I read anything she says I do it in the voice of Roger from American Dad. :headbang:
Reply 7
I just don't want to go through pregnancy, if the man was the one to get pregnant I'd be more inclined to agree to have them but I just don't want something growing inside me I can't even stand periods. Would most males be willing to adopt or consider surrogacy?
I would find adoption acceptable. However we wouldn't be able to have sex then. So...
guess i'm the odd one out then.


In anwer to your thread; i've thought about it carefully (all day long), analysed all possible options - weighing up the pros and cons; costs, benefits, risks, e.t.c
Conclusion?




Naaaahhhhhh.



(Disclaimer: probably towards 30-35ish age.. and If i can actually find someone other than my left hand.. :P)
Reply 10
Yes, men want kids too, at a certain age. Otherwise the human race would be in decline. Shouldn't be too difficult to find someone like minded however. The lure of double income and the ensuing plethora of white goods, three unfettered holidays a year and constantly drinking yourself to annilation appeals to some above spreading their genes.
I used to want them but financial problems have really put me off plus mys sister has had a baby and I can see all the commitment/work that is involved.
Original post by Vixen47
Yeah, a surprising number are. I didn't want kids until my fiance mentioned it. Before him I always figured that if I ever had a kid then it would just be an accident. :dontknow: He's into the whole planning **** which I never even considered because parenting... :puke: Having to be a 24/7 slave to babies then toddlers then children... :puke: ...then teenagers. :headfire: Other than him I know a hell of a lot of guys who are into the idea. In today's society it seems like more women are being put off the idea of having kids than men are because they feel pressured to prove themselves as independent career women and having children kind of puts that on hold. While that's happening, a lot more men are getting into the idea of having a family because the role of the father has changed. Men now hold a bigger place in their children's lives than they had ever done in the past so they actually look forward to it. Today fathers don't just take on the breadwinner role in their families -- they take on this new late 20th/21st Century family man ideal where dad is caring and fun and loving. Because of that and so many other reasons that I'm too tired to list, we have now got more guys than ever before who are bothered about having children.

Do you shop at Carebears or something? The smileys are cringe. I can't even get through the first sentence, it's too much. And "24/7 slave
to babies?" Speaking of :puke:.
I don't care for children and I'm seriously considering having a vasectomy.
yh, would want to raise a family someday
Original post by TorpidPhil
I am. I dare say my willingness to want to have a family correlated very positively with my intellectual maturity and understanding of my own life goals, position and purpose.

Granted such is just incompatible with the goals of many folks.

Males in general will be more selfish, they emotionally mature at a later time usually. They're quite a bit more... apathetic in general about life I would say. I think all these things correlate with not wanting kids but I think all of those things are far less prevalent when in the mid 20s or nearly 30 than they are in other males of my own age (19 +/- 2years or so).


are you saying not wanting kids is selfish?

Im 33 now and i dont want kids, dont think at this stage i ever will want them
Reply 16
I think most men want to have children. Not me though. :tongue:
Original post by silverbolt
are you saying not wanting kids is selfish?

Im 33 now and i dont want kids, dont think at this stage i ever will want them


Not quite. In a way it nearly always is selfish to have kids as inevitably as a parent you will be very biased to your kids and benefit them disproportionately compared to if you were to just use your extra time to get more money and donate that to charities that aid thousands of children who need it more...

Then again, how many would do the latter that don't want kids? If you wouldn't then yes not having kids is selfish, but it isn't the most selfless alternative either.

That wasn't quite my point though - I just intuit that there would be a correlation between not wanting kids and moral nihilism mostly because I treat moral nihilists with contempt as I think it's a very teenage and very intellectual immature (in most scenarios) type of belief. One which hopefully they will grow out of despite it becoming more and more common for some bizarre reason.
I kind have thought of it a lot, because it's nature and biological, However, I also get a weird vibe from my parents which is the opposite of what you'd expect. Like really apathetic, and like it'd be weird to want them, probably a bad idea, like I should be enjoying relationships way more and not having them. And my Dad, which gives me the most weird thoughts about it, just gives me the impression that it is very unmanly to want them.
Reply 19
inb4 "Men shouldn't be allowed to have kids".

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