I feel so unloved.

I don't have many friends and the ones I do have, I have only known them since September whilst they have known each other for years. My mum kicked me out when I was 15. My dad spends a lot of time with my brothers and work, and only acknowledges me when we are talking about grades or if he needs something done. The guy I like has friendzoned me so badly. My only close friends are on the internet and majority of them have their own lives and families outside in the real world. I cant really go out because I'm not much of a social person and I have social anxiety. So I just feel so lonely atm.

I have this huge empty feeling inside my stomach and I just want to be loved. I dont know what to do?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Zahid~

Join a few clubs? You can find a whole lot of knew people with similar interests. I dont really know how social anxiety works but i guess you could work on that alittle.

Reply 2

MDB42

Hey there it sounds like things are rather rubbish at work too. Can I ask what it is you do.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by MDB42

Hey there it sounds like things are rather rubbish at work too. Can I ask what it is you do.

I'm a student, I dont work.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Zahid~

Join a few clubs? You can find a whole lot of knew people with similar interests. I dont really know how social anxiety works but i guess you could work on that alittle.

like what clubs? I mean I'm part of a debating club at school but thats my only interest atm and even then everyone knows each other.

Reply 5

Aiah_AH

I'm really sorry about what's happened to you, no one really deserves that king of **** to happen to them especially at a young age. But, and this may sound a lot (like I probably sound like those annoying optimistics "omdz look on ze brite side" kind of people) despite you feeling unloved, you are not actually unloved. Like regardless of how you feel there will always be one person that at some point will be thinking about you or want to hang out with you and just be like "yo where tf is the op, haven't spoken to them in a while" Like you just have to begin to acknowledge that and realise that despite events that may have occurred throughout your life to make you feel this way that things aren't always as they seem.

First of all I'd try to like focus on a hobby like something you can spend your time on to take your focus off of this feeling and just to kind of relax and have fun, through this hobby you could probably meet a **** tonne of people or even discover alot about yourself. It could legit be anything, just something to do whether it be cooking, working out, gaming etc.
Secondly, you said that the guy you liked friendzoned you, sad, but it happens and it'll probably happen more than once. The feeling of liking him won't last or anything, but if you're close take advantage of the friendzone at this point and open up to him. Let him be the one you talk to about all this **** and just like get some weight off of your shoulders.
Third, I have a friend who also has anxiety and it probably affects them the same way it may affect you but I think you have to kind of begin to fight (if that makes sense) to form a relationship with someone, try to ignore the anxiety long enough to even just get to know someone and then begin to build on that slowly until the feeling begins to fade if that makes sense. I don't have anxiety so I'm not entirely sure how it feels but I really hope whatever I said helps xD

And if you need anyone to talk to about this in private feel free to pm me, I really don't mind and am free to listen whenever (:
I hope everything works out and you begin to feel better soon.

Reply 6

battycatlady

*hugs*. Please message me, OP, if you like. I mean it. I'm here to talk if you need it or if you just want to hear about what I want to name my 8 future cats or whatever.

I'm sorry things are so crap for you at the moment. Being lonely and feeling like no one likes you is one of the worst feelings in the world. In regards to social anxiety- I know it doesn't seem like it, but you can overcome this, or at least learn how to handle it better? Have you spoke to your GP about it? If it's affecting your life this much it is a good idea. Making friends- join a society maybe? Then you will at least have something to talk about as you will definitely have one interest in common. When I was struggling, I worked at an animal shelter. Animals are a fantastic way to destress and to feel relaxed, and you often meet some of the loveliest people you will ever meet when you are volunteering. Try it if you think it's up your alley :-)

The gym is great too. It can be a way to make friends, but if not it will at least get you out of the house and endorphin rushes from exercise are great mood lifters!

You are loved, OP. And you are enough. Don't ever forget that.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 7

Chicken.M.

tough it out until you get to uni or whatever. Then remake yourself and put some strategies in place to become popular.

I <3 YOU

I know how you feel. I've never had a real friend, always tagged along with other groups. I have a good family so i can't relate there but now im getting older (22) I'm getting really stuck with them as well as they just don't want me around any more :s-smilie:

and I too had a group of online friends, unfortunately most of them disappeared off and left just 3 of us, then one disappeared cos of his work and the other because i think she found me boring when it was just the two of us :frown:

so i've lost the only people i talked to. What i really want is a girlfriend, someone who is your best friend and there always, but i doubt i'll ever get that as i am.

I don't really have a solution yet to help you i'm afraid, not figured it out myself. I got myself a job and when im not at work i tend to keep to myself and play games/surf the internet/watch tv&films and that sort of holds off the loneliness if thats any help. Plus i find it useful to get out in the garden during teh sunny days, even if just to sit in the sun and read a book, makes a change and burns some hours of the day on weekends. makes them feel like less of a grind :smile:

so theres two tips at least, sorry i couldnt be of more help

Reply 10

Shellshocker93

I can always kind of relate to these "lonely" threads. When I was 16/17, I had somewhat of a social anxiety, I was bullied in school, grew up in a somewhat badly fabricated environment with just my mum who is perhaps a bit mentally off and no siblings and no father figure. All I had was the Internet and 1 friend in the whole world. Being social, drinking and friends was a bit scary for me.

I got a job, they hired me after an Interview for a restaurant Waiter. I was extremely quiet, wouldn't utter a spare word to save my life. The Staff thought I was a bit "weird". Then I have no idea why, I developed a minor addition to Energy Drink, this for some reason opened me up as a person, I started talking and the work morale improved, after a while my colleagues used to tell me that being on the same shift as me was morale for them. I made friends! I got invited out on a work do! All my anxiety was gone! I even almost got enough courage to ask a girl I liked out.....almost.

From then on, the fog cleared and I decided to not care what people thought, I always follow my targets and passion. Develop on your interests, this is were friends come from, REGARDLESS of what they are and what people thing! I was a fat kid in school, now I am huge in another way, the bullies dare say anything!

Reply 11

Zahid~

Maybe something you have a slight interest in like music or dance or something? It doesnt have to be limited to school clubs, local youth centers might be a place to go. And to make the most of school/college right now, just literally walk up to people and say hey. You'd be amazed at how easily/quickly you can make friends and long lasting friendships. You dont need to be incredibly social or popular either, ask them their day and go from there, most people are friendly and try continue the conversation too so its much easier than it seems as their helping you out with the conversation in a way too.

Reply 12

Shellshocker93

Original post by Anonymous

What i really want is a girlfriend, someone who is your best friend and there always, but i doubt i'll ever get that as i am.

Perhaps the worst thing I can think off is getting a girlfriend when you're so personality under developed. You've got to discover who you are first as a person. Having another person tell you who you are will destroy you when they inevitably leave you for being insecure, this is the source of jealously and envy.

You've got to learn to be happy by yourself, otherwise you'll be an empty shell for the rest of your life!