On the phone to Gf's bestie for 6 hours?
Hello guys, i will give you guys a brief on my love life atm and you guys decide whether or not if this could be a factor on why my gf has behaved in this manner. Well first of all, it has been more than a year since we first met and i am slightly feeling her deluded thoughts get the better of her as she has this strong belief that I am going to cheat on any girl i talk to; she doesn't let me talk to any girl unless she knows them, she has deleted the profiles of every type of social media which i have access to, always messages me whenever I tell her I'm out and recently she rang up a friend of mine whom she knew from uni and told her to not speak to me ever again all because she posted a picture of me and her as friends on instagram. Tbh, i still love her no matter how crazy she is but at the same time, i am bored of her and i am sick of the way she treats me sometimes. It was only yesterday when her bestfriend whom she disallowed me having contact with decided to ring me after like two years ( i knew her friend before we met - thats how i met my gf). From this one phone call, i had never felt so loved and cared since the start of my relationship. Me and her friend were closer than before, we could talk for ages. From 11pm till 5 am we talked and my gf realised this as a big cause for concern and so she confronted be due to the evidence of me being 'busy' on the call since 5 am. She was now very upset and promised me that she will never ever be protective and that she will change to a better girlfriend. I am now lost on whether i should end my relationship or stay with her with the risk of giving her another chance. But i honestly love her because i'm a moron but at the same time i feel a sense of relationship with her mate. What should i do guys?
Eeek.. I can see how that worried your girlfriend though. It seems that her instincts were on point because you allowed yourself to become really attached to someone during the course of one phone call. I'm thinking that perhaps she deep down realises that something isn't right in the relationship and that you are perhaps waiting for a "better boat" and she's trying to cut all your opportunities by extreme control of the women in your life.
It's the actions of a woman who feels really insecure in her relationship.
I can't advise anything other than making a decision and sticking by it. Changing your mind a lot will not be good for the mental health of women like this. I've been there myself. Love your girlfriend and be loyal or leave her and be deadly sure about what you're doing.
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It's the actions of a woman who feels really insecure in her relationship.
I can't advise anything other than making a decision and sticking by it. Changing your mind a lot will not be good for the mental health of women like this. I've been there myself. Love your girlfriend and be loyal or leave her and be deadly sure about what you're doing.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Your girlfriend has a lot of issues, she can't take her insecurities out on you like that.
However if you give your girl a second chance, don't jump into a relationship - start dating and getting to know each other again free of pressure. You will see whether she's started to make positive changes and addressing her issues. You need to tell her you will not tolerate her telling you who you can and can't be friends with and stick to this as you go - it's her issue not yours.
However if you give your girl a second chance, don't jump into a relationship - start dating and getting to know each other again free of pressure. You will see whether she's started to make positive changes and addressing her issues. You need to tell her you will not tolerate her telling you who you can and can't be friends with and stick to this as you go - it's her issue not yours.
Wow... have you entered my life? You are literally the boyfriend of my now, ex-best friend. Story is basically identical in the controlling sense. I would completely suggest breaking up with her, because she is what she is and you'll never change her. I don't agree with the first commenter saying your girlfriend's instincts were right, I think you were so deprived of any female contact, that you simply have grasped onto any female attention. Tbh she went the whole wrong way about this, because now in a sense you're not used to any female contact being non-sexual, and it shows in the fact that this previous girl you seen in a non-sexual way is now a potential partner. My friend's boyfriend loves her to bits too, but he cannot live his life due to her.
I think this old friend of yours was simply a breath of fresh air, and made you remember what it was like to not have someone constantly testing you, waiting for you to mess up. Your girlfriend is now realising her mistake, and knows she's in the wrong. She'll act "normal" again until your old friend kinda drifts again, and will return to her old ways.
Please break up with her, because who knows what she'll do to keep you, and that may even be pregnancy.
I think this old friend of yours was simply a breath of fresh air, and made you remember what it was like to not have someone constantly testing you, waiting for you to mess up. Your girlfriend is now realising her mistake, and knows she's in the wrong. She'll act "normal" again until your old friend kinda drifts again, and will return to her old ways.
Please break up with her, because who knows what she'll do to keep you, and that may even be pregnancy.
Original post by urkadee
Wow... have you entered my life? You are literally the boyfriend of my now, ex-best friend. Story is basically identical in the controlling sense. I would completely suggest breaking up with her, because she is what she is and you'll never change her. I don't agree with the first commenter saying your girlfriend's instincts were right, I think you were so deprived of any female contact, that you simply have grasped onto any female attention. Tbh she went the whole wrong way about this, because now in a sense you're not used to any female contact being non-sexual, and it shows in the fact that this previous girl you seen in a non-sexual way is now a potential partner. My friend's boyfriend loves her to bits too, but he cannot live his life due to her.
I think this old friend of yours was simply a breath of fresh air, and made you remember what it was like to not have someone constantly testing you, waiting for you to mess up. Your girlfriend is now realising her mistake, and knows she's in the wrong. She'll act "normal" again until your old friend kinda drifts again, and will return to her old ways.
Please break up with her, because who knows what she'll do to keep you, and that may even be pregnancy.
I think this old friend of yours was simply a breath of fresh air, and made you remember what it was like to not have someone constantly testing you, waiting for you to mess up. Your girlfriend is now realising her mistake, and knows she's in the wrong. She'll act "normal" again until your old friend kinda drifts again, and will return to her old ways.
Please break up with her, because who knows what she'll do to keep you, and that may even be pregnancy.
Yeah it's as if I have to always double think on what I say to her knowing that I could potentially upset her. I just find it really hard knowing that Her whole family knows about me and its been a year and 3 months now. If i end it its going to be like a waste. But, i understand where you are coming from and I do think after what you've said that i'm going to see how things go for two weeks and if it doesn't change then i'm leaving
Original post by aboy93
Yeah it's as if I have to always double think on what I say to her knowing that I could potentially upset her. I just find it really hard knowing that Her whole family knows about me and its been a year and 3 months now. If i end it its going to be like a waste. But, i understand where you are coming from and I do think after what you've said that i'm going to see how things go for two weeks and if it doesn't change then i'm leaving
Yep, I know exactly where you're coming from. Boyfriend of my friend is known by her whole family too, and theyre together 1yr 4months. Don't think of it as a waste, it was a test for a potential life partner. You've had happy memories with her, and now she's become too much and controlling.
I personally wouldn't suggest even trying with her because you more than likely will slip back into the same pattern. But if you try, stick to it. If she's back to her normal self after the 2 week time frame, break up with her.
Why be in a relationship where you cant be yourself? A relationship should be complimenting your life and making you happy, not the opposite.
If you do break up, try to remember why you done it. Getting over her will be very hard, and you'll start to forget why you did. Keep reminding yourself of what she's like.
Hi there.
I have to agree with urkadee you need to get out of that relationship asap. I was in a relationship where my other half at the time was excessive in her controlling ways. Wherever I wanted to go for some personal on my own time she always had to tag along.
The worst part was that I became ill because of her bossing and you will do this nonsense that eventually I made the only choice there was and parted from her.
However things have changed for me and in 2002 after parting from the controller as I used to call her my brother introduced me to my other half who I have been with now for 12 & a 1/2 years. She helped me get over the controller and I can't thank her enough.
My point is if you think it is best to take a timeout do it and spend time with your mates.
I have to agree with urkadee you need to get out of that relationship asap. I was in a relationship where my other half at the time was excessive in her controlling ways. Wherever I wanted to go for some personal on my own time she always had to tag along.
The worst part was that I became ill because of her bossing and you will do this nonsense that eventually I made the only choice there was and parted from her.
However things have changed for me and in 2002 after parting from the controller as I used to call her my brother introduced me to my other half who I have been with now for 12 & a 1/2 years. She helped me get over the controller and I can't thank her enough.
My point is if you think it is best to take a timeout do it and spend time with your mates.
Original post by MDB42
Hi there.
I have to agree with urkadee you need to get out of that relationship asap. I was in a relationship where my other half at the time was excessive in her controlling ways. Wherever I wanted to go for some personal on my own time she always had to tag along.
The worst part was that I became ill because of her bossing and you will do this nonsense that eventually I made the only choice there was and parted from her.
However things have changed for me and in 2002 after parting from the controller as I used to call her my brother introduced me to my other half who I have been with now for 12 & a 1/2 years. She helped me get over the controller and I can't thank her enough.
My point is if you think it is best to take a timeout do it and spend time with your mates.
I have to agree with urkadee you need to get out of that relationship asap. I was in a relationship where my other half at the time was excessive in her controlling ways. Wherever I wanted to go for some personal on my own time she always had to tag along.
The worst part was that I became ill because of her bossing and you will do this nonsense that eventually I made the only choice there was and parted from her.
However things have changed for me and in 2002 after parting from the controller as I used to call her my brother introduced me to my other half who I have been with now for 12 & a 1/2 years. She helped me get over the controller and I can't thank her enough.
My point is if you think it is best to take a timeout do it and spend time with your mates.
Can you imagine if you had stayed with the controller? You would have missed out on your other half.
Thanks a lot guys. I'm finding it really difficult atm her whole family knows about me too but i've ended it - i basically told her that i've gone away for a few days and i won't have my phone with me due to no reception in the area. But basically blocked her and private calls getting through to me. I'm really struggling to cope but i am going to trust you guys and end it. Purely to the fact that the outcome is a lot better than dealing with this for the rest of my life
Original post by aboy93
Thanks a lot guys. I'm finding it really difficult atm her whole family knows about me too but i've ended it - i basically told her that i've gone away for a few days and i won't have my phone with me due to no reception in the area. But basically blocked her and private calls getting through to me. I'm really struggling to cope but i am going to trust you guys and end it. Purely to the fact that the outcome is a lot better than dealing with this for the rest of my life
I'm glad to hear - but did you actually tell her you wanted to break up? I suppose judging by her ways, she would manipulate you back in. Perhaps send a text off a friend's phone if you haven't, and remain blocking her on yours.
I'm happy to hear you've ended it and I hope all goes well with the next person you're with!
It's not a true relationship if you feel so restricted like that!! You shouldn't let anyone control you or tell you who you can and can't speak to. You need to sit down with you girlfriend and talk about your issues that you have with her, that's the best way. She needs to accept that she's doing wrong and what she's doing isn't healthy for you or her. In a relationship you should be able to have girl or boy mates and be freely allowed to speak to them, she obviously has a few trust issues or doubt. If you've been in a this relationship for long then you should work at it, don't waste it I'm sure you can work it out.
You need to let her clearly know that you have broken up with her and Tell Her Why!!! She needs to know her control issues are over the top!
She will get into another relationship someday and it'll be the same thing. She needs to understand the consequence of her actions!!!
You are very concerned about her family so you need to at least text her that you are breaking up and why and hopefully she'll convey to her family that you've broken things off with her. They will probably understand exactly why but they will not understand that you just one day blocked her and
never actually told her you were breaking up.
The way you handled the "break up" is poor to be honest. Fine, use a friends phone if you want to keep her blocked but text her and explain why you broke up and that you all will not be getting back together - then your friend can block her from his phone as well.
She will get into another relationship someday and it'll be the same thing. She needs to understand the consequence of her actions!!!
You are very concerned about her family so you need to at least text her that you are breaking up and why and hopefully she'll convey to her family that you've broken things off with her. They will probably understand exactly why but they will not understand that you just one day blocked her and
never actually told her you were breaking up.
The way you handled the "break up" is poor to be honest. Fine, use a friends phone if you want to keep her blocked but text her and explain why you broke up and that you all will not be getting back together - then your friend can block her from his phone as well.
Original post by urkadee
I'm glad to hear - but did you actually tell her you wanted to break up? I suppose judging by her ways, she would manipulate you back in. Perhaps send a text off a friend's phone if you haven't, and remain blocking her on yours.
I'm happy to hear you've ended it and I hope all goes well with the next person you're with!
I'm happy to hear you've ended it and I hope all goes well with the next person you're with!
Yeah, i thought of doing so but she is the type of girl that will keep harrassing me and keep reminding me of her good deeds during the relationship and I felt that doing what I've done will make her come to her senses on why I decided to end it this way and I'm pretty sure she is smart enough to realise this herself. Thanks a lot for your advice though urkadee, your advice contributed in making my decision.
Original post by Jessholding
It's not a true relationship if you feel so restricted like that!! You shouldn't let anyone control you or tell you who you can and can't speak to. You need to sit down with you girlfriend and talk about your issues that you have with her, that's the best way. She needs to accept that she's doing wrong and what she's doing isn't healthy for you or her. In a relationship you should be able to have girl or boy mates and be freely allowed to speak to them, she obviously has a few trust issues or doubt. If you've been in a this relationship for long then you should work at it, don't waste it I'm sure you can work it out.
Yeah, you are very true about this. This is what all my mates have been bugging me about but like the ignorant c**t i am I decided not to listen to any of them with regret at this current stage. Even so, I hav n't heard or seen her anymore due to my actions and I am pretty much loving this single life atm.
Original post by hopeforthebest1
You need to let her clearly know that you have broken up with her and Tell Her Why!!! She needs to know her control issues are over the top!
She will get into another relationship someday and it'll be the same thing. She needs to understand the consequence of her actions!!!
You are very concerned about her family so you need to at least text her that you are breaking up and why and hopefully she'll convey to her family that you've broken things off with her. They will probably understand exactly why but they will not understand that you just one day blocked her and
never actually told her you were breaking up.
The way you handled the "break up" is poor to be honest. Fine, use a friends phone if you want to keep her blocked but text her and explain why you broke up and that you all will not be getting back together - then your friend can block her from his phone as well.
She will get into another relationship someday and it'll be the same thing. She needs to understand the consequence of her actions!!!
You are very concerned about her family so you need to at least text her that you are breaking up and why and hopefully she'll convey to her family that you've broken things off with her. They will probably understand exactly why but they will not understand that you just one day blocked her and
never actually told her you were breaking up.
The way you handled the "break up" is poor to be honest. Fine, use a friends phone if you want to keep her blocked but text her and explain why you broke up and that you all will not be getting back together - then your friend can block her from his phone as well.
Another reason why I decided to end things in this harsh way was due to the fact that I was in this same position a few months back and tried the same thing of explaining to her. The outcome to this was just ridiculous, she accused me of being a **** boyfriend and lured me back into her life as i felt sorry for her like an idiot. She even got her friends to ring me and convince me that she was the perfect girlfriend for me. I ignored all of this at first, then she knocked on my door one night and cried on my doorstep. This just made me feel really guilty and so i got back with her like any loving boyfriend would. But after that nothing changed. I just had to get out this vicious circle, but i agree that what i done was poor. Thanks for your honest opinion though.
Original post by aboy93
Yeah, i thought of doing so but she is the type of girl that will keep harrassing me and keep reminding me of her good deeds during the relationship and I felt that doing what I've done will make her come to her senses on why I decided to end it this way and I'm pretty sure she is smart enough to realise this herself. Thanks a lot for your advice though urkadee, your advice contributed in making my decision.
I know exactly what you have went through. Just read your comment on how you tried to end it the "decent" way before, but clearly that just isn't enough. I feel a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders and I'm honestly so happy for someone I don't even know, haha.
All the best
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