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I love my boyfriend but are we "too young" for a serious relationship?

I love my boyfriend so much - he is my best friend in the whole world and i'd be lost without him. We've been together for only about 5 months and are both 20 year old students.

But part of me can't help but wonder "what if?" and "what else is out there?". I guess your early 20s can be a confusing time, all about finding yourself. Cheesy as that may sound, I think it's pretty true. I still have no idea who I am or what I want out of life. My boyfriend is in a similar position.

I'd say we're both quite open-minded people. We're open and honest about everything together - the relationship is really special and has a lot of trust. I told him a few weeks ago about my concerns about not feeling 100% ready for the serious-ness. He was really cool about it and we talked it over. We concluded to stay together and see what happens, but he also said to me that "if, in a few months time, you change your mind, it's cool. We can remain friends - i'm not going anywhere and will always be here for you". Although he did stress that he loves me and doesn't want us to break up. I'm feeling the same way, though keep over thinking it all.

Trying not to ramble on but I guess i'm just curious to hear other people's stories/advice. Is 20 too young to settle down?

Reply 1

swagyolo420

Nope friend zone has been mentioned in previous comment.

Extract from relationship immediately.

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Reply 2

phunky_fresh

No it isn't too young. I thought this post was going to be about someone in their teens. Just make sure you aren't letting go of possibly the best guy for you

Reply 3

claireestelle

I moved in with my boyfriend at the 4 month mark and i was almost 19 at the time, we re still going strong after 18 months so to me was the best decision i ever made :smile:

I guess i am quite mature for 20 in some ways and we both know who we are and what we want out of life.
But would say its certainly not too young for a serious relationship :smile:

Reply 4

Alaric III

It's not too early no, but if it's because you feel you want other guys before you settle down, maybe you should consider broaching the topic of involving more people in the bedroom.

Reply 5

lastlullabyy

It is an individual matter, no one can tell you whether it's too early or not... For example, I had my first "proper" relationship when I was 14. We broke up a month before my 18th birthday. I knew though that I was too young, got to know myself well during that time and this is the reason it didn't work out - we just grew older, but also apart as a result.
I was dating few guys, no relationship between then and starting university (I was 19/20 in first year). But I wasn't looking for anyone, I just happened to met an amazing guy who I liked but was not attracted at the start - but decided to give him a chance and I'm so happy I did cause it's been almost 2 years since we've been together. As I said, we're both 21 now, so your age really... We moved in together, we support each other. And somewhere between going to and back from hell together (medical issues), I've decided at some point that this is it. I don't want to be with anyone else, ever.
It's just so different than any other form of relationship/relation with a guy I had. But if you're thinking what can be out there, maybe it's just not the "right" relationship? I know it might sound harsh but if you did love him, why even try to think about other guys? ... I see lots of my peers getting engaged, getting married, starting families... Being in your 20s is not too young for a serious relationship. But it may be too early for you, which is completely ok. There is no universal timeline to say that "right, now you're X years old, you need to be ready to settle down" - and it would be so boring if there was!

But... I know few examples of people who let go of really great partners because of similar reason... Years later, they couldn't find anyone better, anyone who'd the love more and who'd make them feel as good. My cousin got back together with her first boyfriend from teen years, she's now 32 and been engaged twice after years long relationship. But something was never right, until now. So - it's your life, your decision and do what you think it's best for you. Just hope you won't have any regrets, no matter what decision you're going to make and where life's going to take you :smile:

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 6

SleepingLion3

Being in your 20's isn't too young for a serious relationship in my opinion. I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 22. We've been together for almost 9 months but it feels really right, I can't imagine anyone else in my future right now. Even though it's a serious relationship, I'm not planning on getting married and having children until much much later.

I think if you really love someone, you don't wonder 'what if' or 'what is out there' because you can't contemplate your future without them.

Your boyfriend sounds really understanding, you should just go with the flow and see where your feelings take you, but it doesn't sound as if you're ready to settle down. A serious relationship doesn't necessarily mean you'll be with that person for the rest of your life!

Reply 7

Rum Ham

No this isn't too young. For some it might be but in general I wouldn't say its too young to settle down/get serious. Me and my bf got together at 17 and moved in together at 19 and have been together for 6 years now. Neither of us felt like we have missed out by only being with one person while young and all that jazz.

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Reply 8

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

I got engaged at 17 and married at 21. That just about sums up what I think of young relationships.

Reply 9

CherryCherryBoomBoom

Nah, 20 isn't too young. Remember, just decades ago, it was rather common to get married at that age. Maybe it is too young for some people, but don't worry about other people; you just do what's right for you at whatever time that happens to be :yep:

I entered a serious relationship when I was 21, and I'm still with him now over two years later :smile:

. Sometimes I also wonder myself "what else is out there?" and such, but then I realise I'm not too bothered to keep messing around for ages with loads of different people - I've found who I believe to be my prince and I'm happy sticking with him for the long run :smile: