Convince me- why is it good being single?

TLDR: What are the pros of being single?

My fiance broke up with me 3 months ago. We were together for 4 years, engaged for 6 months. We were renting a flat together, shared all of our friends, spent every waking moment together for the duration of the relationship. We're 23 years old. He decided he's not ready to settle down and doesn't want commitment.

I moved back home 200 miles away and most people have moved away- I know about 3 people, 2 of which will move down in a month after uni is done, so I'm lonely and living back with my parents. I start a grad scheme in London in September, but don't have anything to do until then.

I'm still a mess. The life I thought I had just crumbled away and I'm a broken, unconfident, scared person.

I've been in long term relationships since I was 15, never spending more than 6 months single- and in that time I was normally seeing other people or interested in someone or sleeping around (depending on the time in my life ha).

I was so involved in my relationship, well we both were, worried about the other person's problems or health issues or concerns. My friends are telling me to date but I'm not ready, and I can't be bothered with people who play games about waiting 30 minutes to text, sex on third date, liars, having to be so involved with another person.

Why is good being single? Please remind me.

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Reply 1

username47781

Less drama, you can do what you want and see who you want.

no burden

Well to put it simply - why is it good being in a relationship?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by localblackguy

Well to put it simply - why is it good being in a relationship?

Loving a person and them loving you back. Feeling safe and secure. Comfort. Best friend. Someone to share your life and time with. Someone who will be there for you no matter what. Someone who loves you for who you are. Someone who thinks you're funny, smart, beautiful, interesting. Someone who you can trust and rely on no matter what.

Reply 5

localblackguy

Original post by Anonymous

The good thing about being single is that it allows you to look for the right someone.

Reply 6

HexaHexaHexagon

Original post by Anonymous

Loving a person and them loving your money. Feeling safe and secure. Comfort. Best friend. Someone to share your life and income with. Someone who will be there for you no matter what unless you go bankrupt. Someone who loves you for who your money. Someone who says you're funny, smart, beautiful, interesting. Someone who you can trust and rely on no matter what.

ftfy

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by HexaHexaHexagon

ftfy

There are bad relationships, and then there are some relationships that are absolutely amazing. I'm talking about relationships that make you feel like you're the luckiest and most amazing person in the world. I'm not talking about people who are only in relationships for someone's money, sex, etc.

Reply 8

HexaHexaHexagon

Original post by Anonymous

never seen or heard of a good relationship
all I hear about is how my dad whines about how my mom just used him for his money and how much it costs him to give me food and education

Reply 9

LauraMayden1

Original post by Anonymous

That can only be my mother.

Reply 10

MsFahima

You don't have to worry about another person all the time.

Reply 11

Smilin’ Knight

From the point of view of someone who has never had any kind of relationship, unless you enjoy spending time on your own then i don't see any benefits. Your just lonely all the time.

Reply 12

Tiger Rag

Because I don't have to justify where I'm going, who I'm seeing and who I'm constantly texting.

Reply 13

db_F40

Bangin all the girls you want without the constant fear of thinking if your gf found out your passcode

Reply 14

Aristotle's' Disciple

Original post by LauraMayden1

That can only be my mother.

True haha.

OP you need to develop some self-esteem, sounds like you're entirely dependent on how your partner saw you.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by Aristotle's' Disciple

True haha.

OP you need to develop some self-esteem, sounds like you're entirely dependent on how your partner saw you.

I had loads of self esteem and was very happy and confident in my life (friends, uni, career, house, looks) and myself as a person, but I lost it all with the break up. Getting self esteem is easier said than done.

Reply 16

SuckMeBeautiful

There are some pros such as you can save money, don't have to lose your sleep worrying about them cheating or what else have you, but having someone by your side who loves you romantically (so plz don't mention parents unless ur into incest) is always better imo.

Reply 17

pineneedles

In my opinion I don't think it helps thinking about the pros and cons of being single and being in a relationship. You can't make the way you're feeling go away by thinking of a few benefits of your situation. You should be thinking about what else you have in your life that makes you happy regardless and independent of your relationship status.
Without being insensitive here, perhaps it's good that this relationship in particular has ended, because this means you're free to build up a life and social circle of your own and gain some emotional security.

Reply 18

BullViagra

Original post by OU Student

Because I don't have to justify where I'm going, who I'm seeing and who I'm constantly texting.

Then you're going out with the wrong person

A proper relationship doesn't have that issue

Reply 19

Cannoning

Realise that true happiness is only found within, its a state of mind, not dependant on other people.
When your single you are free, and don't have the burden of a relationship.

Just try and learn to enjoy life by yourself and everything will get better.