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Confidence has taken a serious hit

I've been feeling so low in confidence recently and I really dont know how to get it back! I'm feeling very underwhelmed and not worth much right now and I'm really unsure of how to get my usual confident self back...

I'm 19, have loads of friends I'm out having fun every night all the time and spend quality time with my friends and family. I shouldn't be feeling like this at all, I'm at the most attractive i'll be and in the most fun part of my life! Just for a couple of weeks I've been feeling really not confident in myself.

I think maybe it's something to do with a guy that has recently messed me about a bit, we talked every day for over two months and spent time together, watching films in bed and talking. But he stopped talking to me recently, havn't spoken in weeks and where he would previously send me funny little things because they were relevant to me he now never does. It's been another guy in quite a few incidences who has never liked me enough to sustain anything. I've only ever had friends with benefits arrangements and non-starting hook ups or chatting all the time, I think my self worth is declining because I feel like there must be something wrong with me for this to happen...

I really liked this guy, and he liked me I know it. It's so frustrating!

How do I get my mojo back? I'm sick of feeling down!
I totally relate to this. I used to invest all my self worth in what guys thought of me, so if someone left me or ignored me my confidence was dangerously unstable. I'm not sure if that's what you did, but it sounds like the absence of this guy has left you quite vulnerable. Honestly, it's hard to overcome that but what I would say not to do is just find another guy to replace him. It starts a vicious cycle. Spend time with yourself and friends who boost your self esteem.


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Have you thought about moving on from only having ‘friends with benefits’ arrangements? Maybe try and find a guy who, potentially, isn’t only with you for the ‘benefits’?If you can find someone who is with you because they really, honestly and truly want to be with you (and not the ‘benefits’) then you might realise that actually you’ve got a lot more to offer than sex. I know that might sound kind of preachy, but it sounds like you’re having trouble realising your self-worth as a person, and having a loving partner might change that.
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Original post by lucy_crave
Have you thought about moving on from only having ‘friends with benefits’ arrangements? Maybe try and find a guy who, potentially, isn’t only with you for the ‘benefits’?If you can find someone who is with you because they really, honestly and truly want to be with you (and not the ‘benefits’) then you might realise that actually you’ve got a lot more to offer than sex. I know that might sound kind of preachy, but it sounds like you’re having trouble realising your self-worth as a person, and having a loving partner might change that.


i would love to have that, but i can never seem to get there. i feel like no boy (other than this one) has just liked hanging out with me as more than a friend, and even this one has gone wrong!
Again, I know this will sound preachy and it’s really not supposed to – but have you tried not offering sex to keep them hanging out with you? That’s the only way you’ll know if they really want to be with you just because they like you. You sound like a really nice, loving, person, you’ll find someone who loves you and being with you, regardless of the sex.

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