The Student Room Group

Is this homosexual?

If I penetrate another man but don't let him penetrate me. Or if I receive oral from him but do not give. Just wondering because I personally don't think that is homosexual. And like I've never kissed a man but ok.

This is long but I'll just say I have a gay friend at work. He just walked over to me on my first day. I had a hunch he was gay because he was like all nervous and laughy and licking his lips and looking and I wasn't getting uncomfortable I just ignored it and kept talking. Like I dont want to look homophobic by telling him to **** off yet I don't want to give him any ideas. He's also a pretty top bloke. We work together so eh. So he asked me for drinks like the staff usually go after work to the pub. It was my first day on he had been there for much longer and pretty much hosted a shindig for me. We started talking and then decided to start going for drinks by ourselves after work.

So couple weeks ago Idk can't really remember everything but one night we catch a cab together. It's late and I'm buzzed so I tell him to come inside. We're cotching, watching telly, eating crisps like knobs, and I'm fading off so I say I'm going to bed. He immediately accepts the couch but I tell him no that's bull****, take the bed, and I take the couch. I'm not comfortable so I go to my bed eventually but we sleep head to toe lmao. He sits up and stares at me in the dark so I roll over. I havent told nobody about this because eh, no.

So anyway we're hanging out more often and Idk this passed weekend we're bar hopping, just the two of us, and we eventually end up at a place where a lot of gays go. His idea because all of his mates go there a lot. We always make jokes with each other like at this point he's told me how he feels about me and I should've run but now we're solid mates. So I always play it off with him like I leaned over a table and I look over my shoulder and told him, "Don't get any ideas, you." And I winked. It was a JOKE. And many ppl like roar in laughter but some of my straight friends were like wot?

I play it off and start just having a laugh with everyone and letting the gay guys touch my groin and biceps because I'm an idiot and drinking, whatever. I like the attention and I kind of leave my mate behind. He texts me and says he's going because I've wandered off anyway, and I say no, and we go back to my place again. Well I let him perform oral on me but I told him not to tell anyone so now he's all gushy with me and calling me pet names and I'm about to quit because I can't trust him.

So anyway yea I just need to get it off my chest, it just happened on Saturday and I been avoiding him and dreading work tomorrow. It's not like I did anything to him, but I'm not turning down someone wanting to help me out lol Ideas on how to ****ing handle this? Ta.

Scroll to see replies

Was his bumhole hairy?
Reply 2
If you feel like it was just sex for you with no emotional attachment or anything then it probably means you're just looking for someplace to stick it in. But you should let your work colleague know where you stand regarding your drunken antics.

It's a difficult question to answer but if you feel any emotional or physical attraction to your gender then you might be homosexual or even bisexual, if you usually have sex with women.

With regards to work tomorrow, I guess you could talk to him in your break and explain your confusion about your sexuality? I'm sure he will understand.

Good Luck!
Yes, it is gay. Time to get over that internalized homophobia. :h:
Original post by driftawaay
Yes, it is gay. Time to get over that internalized homophobia. :h:


No need to be snarky. How is it gay? If a female performed oral on you, are you gay?
Original post by Stefano93
Was his bumhole hairy?


Didn't go nowhere near his bumhole, mate. I'll let him know you're interested, though.
Original post by Man.bear.pig
No need to be snarky. How is it gay? If a female performed oral on you, are you gay?


I'm not being snarky. And yes indeed, a female has performed oral on me
and I am gay. :h:
As a general rule of thumb, if you have to ask if it's gay, it probably is.
Reply 8
i don't think something you did can define your sexuality, but i don't know why you're so bothered about if it was 'gay' or not anyway
Is it okay if i use your story instead of porn tonight?
you signed the gay contract once you stuck it in
Original post by Forever96
If you feel like it was just sex for you with no emotional attachment or anything then it probably means you're just looking for someplace to stick it in. But you should let your work colleague know where you stand regarding your drunken antics.

It's a difficult question to answer but if you feel any emotional or physical attraction to your gender then you might be homosexual or even bisexual, if you usually have sex with women.

With regards to work tomorrow, I guess you could talk to him in your break and explain your confusion about your sexuality? I'm sure he will understand.

Good Luck!


Talk to him and say what though?
And bi? lol no. No way. Nope. He was the first one I let do that, after hanging out with him for weeks just on a friendly level. He has def had different ideas this whole time. But one night I dunno. He's tried to kiss me and Ive playfully headlocked him. He begged me to do more and I made him leave but I still chat to him. At work everyone loves Kieran, he's like blonde he is like a doll or something. I was just his mate but I made a huge ****ing mistake and can't even sleep now. He's shared stories with me where he's "turned men out" before and when they deny it he takes risque photos of them with him in it somehow and sends them to ppl. So also is that illegal? Thanks for your advice, appreciate it.
5/10
Original post by !!mentor!!
Is it okay if i use your story instead of porn tonight?


do whatever mate. just don't tell me about it.

Original post by AlexParmenter
i don't think something you did can define your sexuality, but i don't know why you're so bothered about if it was 'gay' or not anyway


No it's def gonna be a problem. Especially if he blackmails me. I've never done this before and obv ppl are gonna take the mick.

Original post by driftawaay
I'm not being snarky. And yes indeed, a female has performed oral on me
and I am gay. :h:


well then I don't want your advice. I was obv meaning to ask someone straight if they still consider themselves straight just because they indulged in getting pleasured. If you're gay it doesn't apply, now does it? Thanks anyway. Ta-ra.
I told him he better not tell anyone and he said watch and see if I don't. Then he waved his phone. Really? Lol like he says if I actually go full with him he won't say anything.
Original post by TechnoHead
you signed the gay contract once you stuck it in


K. Thanks for playin.
Original post by Zargabaath
As a general rule of thumb, if you have to ask if it's gay, it probably is.


?? this really isn't funny. That don't help me much at all, mate. I was horny so I took it as he was offering. I didn't even ask him or bring it up. He just told me how he felt and what he wanted to do. I'm not one to turn down a blow job. Sue me. But I'm not gay, so yea, I was jsut wondering what the general consensus would be to see what I have to do. Time to tell our Kieran a word or two and resign. I'm not dealing with this. You actually have helped me tons.
Original post by Man.bear.pig
?? this really isn't funny. That don't help me much at all, mate. I was horny so I took it as he was offering. I didn't even ask him or bring it up. He just told me how he felt and what he wanted to do. I'm not one to turn down a blow job. Sue me. But I'm not gay, so yea, I was jsut wondering what the general consensus would be to see what I have to do. Time to tell our Kieran a word or two and resign. I'm not dealing with this. You actually have helped me tons.


Just tell him you're not interested the same way you'd tell a chick. I don't really understand what the problem is
Original post by Zargabaath
Just tell him you're not interested the same way you'd tell a chick. I don't really understand what the problem is


lmao you've obv never had to tell a gay man, as a man, that you're not interested, after having done some kinda sex. girls act up enough. gay blokes will try to make you miserable, and then we work together. i've let him know the whole time we've been mates when he's come onto me and I've straight up told him never. and then that night I threatened him not to tell anyone. He says he's going to because I threw him out at midnight by himself and didn't have full acts with him. Ok nvm I dont think anyone gets it.
One swallow does not a homosexual make...

What you did was a sexual act with another man. But you define your sexual orientation, not an act.

Him holding you to ransom about telling others, however - that's highly unethical and I'm not familiar enough with the legal side of things to know whether what he's doing is definitely illegal or not. (Blackmailing you into having sex with him).

Quick Reply