The Student Room Group

Going to go down to the nitty gritty

So i am me. But me has been suffering from anxiety and depression for the past 5ish years. For three of them years i never had any help and the time i did , was right on top of my as levels and for my other medication friends , you can kinda guess how that went.

but im not here to tell you my sob story.
I want to help you.

I have to admit , sometimes now days , i do relapse a bit, i do feel like the world is ending and i do want to cry and i do get urges to hurt my self.

However I want to share with you something called riding the wave.

Basically I used to be like a zombie, i never felt any pleasure, didnt care about school ( and this is someone who has always dreamed of being a doctor) I wanted to scream because I never thought i would get rid of this depression. but then i had a thought. if i cant control how i am feeling , what can i controll.
First was , i can start doing things i loved.
I am mad about sherlock ( and benedict cumberbatch - well who isnt? )

So i made a blog about it ( ok its a nerdy instagram account , but go with me here) and I began to interact with people who loved the things i loved. This made me smile. That helped to lift the lid as such. I was no longer in a constant state of gloom. I made my self go out with my mum to my sisters dance festivals even though i couldnt give a damm about dance , it was more the fact that otherwise i would be sat alone all day. When this happened I realised , i had waves.


Imagine a surfer on a wave, when they are on it , they ride it out , they dont purposely let it wash over them. I realised my depressed states came like this after i had picked myself up from the worse of it.
So i began to realise when the waves were beginging. I would feel dread, feel like crying , want to end it all etc. I would then put my music in my ears, and you know what. I smiled. I made myself smile. It works so much, instead of horriable thoughts i make my self imagine myself at universty which is something i hope to achieve this year ( neuroscience at leicester if you are wondering , even though i have already been rejected 3 times because of my As grades)

I made my self imagine happy scenarios. Sitting in my new room , walking into a lecture room for the first time.
I can not begin to tell you how far i have come.

Now i feel so much more lighter. Ok i still have bad days where the wave is too strong but i find that eating helps me stop them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

so heres my message - sometimes , you need to realise that no medication may work. No medication is going to stop you having bad thoughts. I know how blooming difficult it is, i have the physical scars to prove it.

I want you now to think of something you love , if you are like me and love benedict cumberbatch.


Now smile. I dont care where you are , Just make your self smile. If you can't do it now. Do it later but make them facial muscles mmooovveee.

Giggle at your self because how how silly you look .

breath and giggle and smile.

learn to recognise when them waves are approaching you. you cant fight water dont forget and most of the time , we dont have the mental strenght to do so. but imagine your self on a surfers board of positive thoughts that you are riding to escape the bad ones.

ok sometimes you may fall off, and thats ok . When has anyone seen anyone ride a wave perfectly the first time they try. Its taken me since Jan to master this. I am now 110 days clean of harm. Ok the scars remain but they are fading , but i am proud of them , because they show how much i have been through and i know where i am going.

Dont tell my doctor this but i have even stopped taking my meds because i feel better off them than on them !! -:bee: its a bumblebee because im drbumblebee !! ha ha


anyways thats enough of me rambling, maybe you can leave things that make you smile on here, that way when someone scrolls through , they can just read and smile , because we dont always have that mental strenght to think for ourselves ...

stay safe my buds , you can beat this , dont feel like you cant, nothing is out of your control, you have the power :smile:

drbumblebee:bee:
I foun this thread as it came up on my side bar I am glad you have found a way to combat your demons

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