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Another confidence thread

I have a really big problem with confidence. I do get compliments, but I don't tend to remember them as I have the 'compliments are only opinions not facts' theory. Its effecting me alot because I have myself esteem can go really low sometimes. I usually think i'm useless. I really don't know how to think positively, and if i do think positive i am bad at proving that I can do something. What can I do that may help me?

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Reply 1

MNBStyle

A good way for this is to list positive things about yourself, or get the opinions of others that you trust.
I know you will think "But why if i dont pay attention to positive comments".
Well when there in writing you wont forget them and also if you have examples to back the compliments it will stick in your mind better.
Also thinking about things your good at will help, and dont say your not good at anything because i know thats not true :biggrin:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

I have a year book which i could look at. It does make me smile. But It doesn't really work- well it hasn't worked so far...
If i think i'm good at something, my ability degenerates so I end up feeling useless after anyway

Reply 3

MNBStyle

Anonymous

Well unless you dont want to, lets give this a crack tell me one or a few things your good at???

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

umm...'rounders' , 'basketball', 'football'...thats about it and i don't think they are true. I'm a girl by the way

Reply 5

MNBStyle

Anonymous

umm...'rounders' , 'basketball', 'football'...thats about it and i don't think they are true. I'm a girl by the way

So you can say your good at sports, perhaps this would mean your good at working with others aswell???
I can easily add the fact your good at talking to people.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

uhmm I'm not to sure *confused face*

Reply 7

MNBStyle

Anonymous

uhmm I'm not to sure *confused face*

Well if you not thought about it much before you won't, but its something to consider.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

i have...but when i try to think I'm good at something..i just end up proving myself wrong

Reply 9

MNBStyle

Anonymous

i have...but when i try to think I'm good at something..i just end up proving myself wrong

Then find someone or find away to prove yourself wrong and twist it around :wink:

You tell me something you thought your good at then tell me what you thought to prove yourself wrong??

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Like if i want to do something productive for the day and achieve a certain amount- I wouldn't get through it..

Reply 11

MNBStyle

Anonymous

Like if i want to do something productive for the day and achieve a certain amount- I wouldn't get through it..

And you convince yourself you wont be able to do it anyway so why bother???
Wouldn't it be better to think, even if i try all this and dont do it atleast i tried, either way your going to think you can't do it so why not give it ago anyway atleast if you do it then its good.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

I do try that, and have tried that.....It's just hard ...

Reply 13

hannah_dru

MNBStyle

I think that's a good idea. You could do like a "mood board" type thing, which is a collage of comments and photos which make you happy.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

I do look over my year book sometimes. However I may give this idea a shot too. One of my other problems is that I worry way too much. I could worry about the teeny weeny things to really big things. I can't stay calm for more than 10 mins unless i'm watching good tv or doing some artwork or something

Reply 15

MNBStyle

Anonymous

Perhaps somet sort of relaxation techniques might come of use to you then or any kind of relaxing??
To what you said before yes i know its hard i appreciate i might make it out to be real simple, you just got to keep thinking like i said to get it all in.
I noticed you said artwork there so im adding it to your list of qualitys :wink:

and so should you, a creative person could go into that.

Hannah_Dru

I think that's a good idea. You could do like a "mood board" type thing, which is a collage of comments and photos which make you happy.

Yeah exactly good idea, photos gives me the idea of things like something that shows what your good at like awards, photos of you being congratulated or when your happy with mates stuff like that.

Reply 16

Anthonyjm71

hannah_dru

I think that's a good idea. You could do like a "mood board" type thing, which is a collage of comments and photos which make you happy.

useful idea for jogging your memory.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

Okk thanks guys for your replies! Are there anymore suggestions?

Reply 18

Yoda

I find that shouting at someone helps boost their self confidence.

That or todays special - getting so hammered you can't walk. Constantly. Then thinking you were great so your self confidence gets boosted.

Reply 19

hannah_dru

Anonymous

One of my other problems is that I worry way too much. I could worry about the teeny weeny things to really big things. I can't stay calm for more than 10 mins unless i'm watching good tv or doing some artwork or something