Psychopathic boyfriend?

Omg that sounds like a nightmare. You could maybe tell him to think about getting some help? I mean, his emotions are absolutely all over the place, so I think he needs to stabilise himself. A lot depends on what you want, both for yourself and for him, in this situation.

I mean, you are not qualified to help him (if he needs or wants help) - love doesn't qualify you. He sounds toxic and I recommend you leave him to a professional.

Hey.

My current situation is that I've been on/off with my boyfriend for about a year, and although we have been through the most heart wrenching breakups, we both know that we "love" each other.

To be frank, he's not the most communicative boyfriend and often, he conceals his true feelings (especially if he's upset about a situation). This is probably due to the way he was brought up and he doesn't have a very stable family life at all, so has grown up to view having emotions as "weak".

I'm always here for him and extremely committed to him as a best friend and a girlfriend, but my issue is that over the last few months, he's started having these extreme mood swings and taking out a lot of his issues on me. For example, I was at his place the other night, and he had just finished one of his A level exams and felt like it went awfully. Granted, I can understand why he would be in a bad mood, but this was something else. He blamed me for doing badly in his exam, and said that he had spent so much time lately "thinking about me" that he couldn't properly concentrate in the exam. He proceeded to tell me to "show myself out" of his house, before I even had a chance to try and cheer him up, which was the rudest thing.

Yesterday we were talking on the phone, after he had recovered from this bad mood, and I was telling him about a family problem I was having, and I really needed him to listen. He basically dismissed my issue, and followed by saying that I should do more dirty talk in bed/wear more lingerie, which was SO IRRELEVANT and completely disdainful.

That's just one silly example of things he will say, and of course I know I'm not responsible for his doing badly in the exam (if he even did!!).

Also, he called me earlier on today and told me that he thinks he is a psychopath. I didn't know how to react to that???

I just stayed very calm and asked him why he thought that, and reassured him that I thought the world of him. He said that sometimes he lies to me, and to other people, and that he doesn't care about the consequences of the lies. He mentioned that he doesn't ever have feelings of guilt, and finds it difficult to empathise with people.

It was strange, to say the least. A few months ago, I was in such a happy place with him. We were so happy together and we were excited to plan our summer together, possibly our last summer together before uni.

I care for him so much, but I don't know whether I should stay with him because a lot of the things he tells me these days happen to be lies, of the silliest sort (e.g. I got 100% in my end of term test, I can do 100 press-ups in one go).
Can I be with someone that lies?? With someone who may not be able to empathise with me or show his "love" to me? I know that he DOES feel empathy, deep down, because there have been times when he's just broken down and cried onto me, like a baby, telling me everything he feels.

Please help. What do I do?

I mean, you are not qualified to help him (if he needs or wants help) - love doesn't qualify you. He sounds toxic and I recommend you leave him to a professional.

K.
Not to minimise what you're going through, but your boyfriend is taking A levels. Presumably a teenager. Watch him grow and mature, stick with him, or leave him and come back in say...3-5 years. He should be a bit better, less interested in being obnoxious for a hopefully favourable reaction as children will do.

Secondly, if I take him seriously, especially when I was a teenager, I had moods. In fact, my whole teenhood was an era of moodiness and rage. It was being completely standoffish or completely out of control with anger. Mentally not in the place to be with girls or anyone. Didn't stop me from messing with em. He could also be stressed about his exams you know. I don't get what you mean about how he was brought up, and emotions being weak. Don't make excuses for him. He's being a prat because he doesn't know better, most likely. Deal with it or leave.

That's very true. Some of my other friends have described him as toxic too. Do you think I should wait a while to see if this is just a passing phase (the lies and the rudeness), because he never used to be like that in the last 9 months, really. It's such a difficult situation

I think it is either a sign that something is seriously wrong in his life (in which case he probably would have told you though), or a sign that he just doesn't really care that much about you any more - so he has stopped bothering to be nice. I don't think it will get better, only worse.

He's adopted and has had a strange relationship with his parents, who are unsupportive.

Yeah you're right we are both teens. I understand that teens get in moods, haha, I'm eighteen myself, but his are out of order sometimes. I'd really hope he's not "messing" with me after a year, that would be atrocious!!

He's adopted and has had a strange relationship with his parents, who are unsupportive. Thank you so much for your response it's actually really helpful.