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matt19850

All of Anchorman and Bad Santa

And waynes world 2
I was in a place like this once. Sri Lanka, or formerly Surlan. It was about 3 in the morning and we were looking for 100 brown M&M's to fill a brandy glass or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So Jeff Bet popped his head around the corner and mentioned there's a little sweet shop on the edge of town. So we go. And it's closed. So there's me, Keith Moon and David Crosby breaking into this little sweet shop right. Now instead of a guarddog they got this bloody great big bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace. But the shopowner and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business really, but we got the M&M's and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show!

Reply 21

Flopifloor

"the first step in making a dream come true is to wake up"

"nobody can make you feel miserable without your consent" - E. Roosevelt

Reply 22

duckyrubber

"If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk." -Conan O'Brien

lol its not my favourite quote but im using it for my last ever yearbook photo

Reply 23

miss_world

I don't really buy those cheesy life affirming ones when I feel down one thing that's guaranteed to perk me up is thinking of my favorite quotes from various films and TV shows, as well as some dumb things my friends and other people have said.

One of my favorite quotes from Black Books, that always makes me laugh:

Manny: Should I was my beard?

Burnard: Yes i do think you should wash you beard,
then cut it off, nail it to a frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

Reply 24

BlackpoolCraig

"If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for the rest of the day, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life."

Reply 25

Alan Grant

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf

"Say "Hello" to my little friend!" - Tony Montana

Reply 26

Echolife

'I cannot' never accomplished anything. 'I will try' has worked wonders.

Reply 27

Ferrus

'A witty saying proves nothing.' - Voltaire

Reply 28

Rubicon

"Give a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

Reply 29

Milli

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." -Albert Einstein

''Sometimes the last person on earth you want to be with, is the one person you can’t be without.'' - Pride and Prejudice

"Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today." -Abraham Lincoln

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched...but are felt in the heart." -Helen Keller

Reply 30

SuperhansFavouriteAlsatian

"Some people need to read the whole thread before reply" - Dan Grover

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo

Also, it's true that Oscar Wilde Quotes get made up all the time. I love uncyclopedia.

Reply 31

fragile_halo

"don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive" - van wilder

Reply 32

SiAz

Ferrus

'A witty saying proves nothing.' - Voltaire

I disagree! :wink:

"What is needed is to give up altogether the notion that the world is constituted of basic objects or building blocks. Rather one has to view the world in terms of universal flux of events and processes."
- David Bohm

Reality cannot be found except in One single source, because of the interconnection of all things with one another. (Leibniz, 1670)

We are a part of Nature as a whole whose order we follow. (Spinoza, Ethics, 1673)

“The only real valuable thing is intuition.”
-Albert

Reply 33

Alan Grant

"Only 2 things in this world are limitless. The universe and human stupidity." - Albert Einstein

Reply 34

butterdori

'Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you are a god.'
- Jean Rostand

Reply 35

qwerty_st/n

"Being eaten by a crocodile is like going to sleep, in a giant blender" - Homer Simpson.

Reply 36

Riquelminho

"Mmmmmmm chocolate..." (Homer Simpson)

Reply 37

Flopifloor

"When tomorrow comes today will be gone forever" was written on a watch I had, no idea who it's from...

Reply 38

Jonah Ramone

"When I die I rot" - Bertrand Russell

"Religion is all bunk." - Thomas Eddison. What a guy.

Reply 39

Tomber

One of my favourites is quite long, but so very eloquent. By the american astronomer Carl Sagan commenting on a picture of earth, taken from the Voyger spacecraft, where it appears only as a tiny dot.

"We succeeded in taking that picture [from deep space], and, if you look at it, you see a dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever lived, lived out their lives. The aggregate of all our joys and sufferings, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilizations, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every hopeful child, every mother and father, every inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species, lived there on a mote of dust, suspended in a sunbeam.

The earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and in triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of the dot on scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner of the dot. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity -- in all this vastness -- there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. It is up to us. It's been said that astronomy is a humbling, and I might add, a character-building experience. To my mind, there is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly and compassionately with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."

It really makes me think about my own discipline and studies (history) in context, and I find it incredibly humbling.