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My father is cheating on my mother

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I've been there. PM me if you like.
Original post by Inexorably
Then why are you waiting? Go tell her...


It's so much easier said that done, honestly.

Like I want to say something but I'm thinking about the knock-on effect this will have on everything else i.e. my younger brothers and their lifestyle etc etc

My brother's notice that things aren't going well with my parents, and they're a very young age. They say things like "why do you and dad never sleep together", "why do you never say bye to eachother when you go out" it's just too much I really don't know what to do haha
Original post by Anonymous
It's so much easier said that done, honestly.

Like I want to say something but I'm thinking about the knock-on effect this will have on everything else i.e. my younger brothers and their lifestyle etc etc

My brother's notice that things aren't going well with my parents, and they're a very young age. They say things like "why do you and dad never sleep together", "why do you never say bye to eachother when you go out" it's just too much I really don't know what to do haha


I know it's easier said than done but it's not fair on your mother to let her go on believing she's in a faithful loving relationship. She will appreciate it more if you tell her than if she finds out herself eventually and then finds out that you knew all along for example.
Original post by Inexorably
I know it's easier said than done but it's not fair on your mother to let her go on believing she's in a faithful loving relationship. She will appreciate it more if you tell her than if she finds out herself eventually and then finds out that you knew all along for example.


Hmm, I guess it makes sense when you put it that that. Thank you, it's lovely how you're helping me after I sort of helped you :h:
This same thing happened to me but with my mum. I spoke to her about it and she said she would end it and she didn't and it all blew up a few years later. Talk to your dad about it 100%, tell him you know and it can't continue. Say if he doesn't tell your mum then you will. I know it's a really hard situation to go through and I hope you're alright x
Original post by georgia17xo
This same thing happened to me but with my mum. I spoke to her about it and she said she would end it and she didn't and it all blew up a few years later. Talk to your dad about it 100%, tell him you know and it can't continue. Say if he doesn't tell your mum then you will. I know it's a really hard situation to go through and I hope you're alright x


What do you mean by "it blew up"? As in a divorce followed? :erm:

I just have a feeling he will lie to my face or something when I confront him about it.

But thank you lovely x
Original post by Anonymous
Yes I'm certain

I recall my mum kicking him out a few years ago for finding out he was speaking to another woman

A few years later she caught him out when he kept on declining the incoming call and she answered herself and confronted the woman

This time...well it's only me who knows


I think you should tell your mum, or confront your dad.
Original post by little_wizard123
I've been there. PM me if you like.


Hey, I'd love to but I don't want my personal issues to be associated with my tsr account, or at least I wouldn't want you to think any differently of me because of this
Original post by Anonymous
What do you mean by "it blew up"? As in a divorce followed? :erm:

I just have a feeling he will lie to my face or something when I confront him about it.


But thank you lovely x


Well they're not married but they split up for a while and the man she was having an affair with's wife gave my mum loads of **** and stuff which was understandable but it was hard to watch. It's better to get it out in the open now rather than later. I waited a few months because I tried to ignore it but it was really hard and I felt so guilty on my dad. So getting it out now will hopefully resolve it. Although every situation is different and I don't know if your dads done it before but they might be able to work things out you never know-my parents did :smile: either way admitting you know will ease your feelings of guilt, because it will come out eventually x
Original post by HuggleyDuck
I think you should tell your mum, or confront your dad.


Both options are a strain

this is just stressing me out
What a dreadful position to be in, whatever you decide to do will have repercussions.

If it was me, I would have a chat with my mum along the lines of ..have you noticed this that and the other about dads behaviour recently, and do you think he is maybe up to no good again.

She will soon figure out for herself if I know the average scorned woman if he is having an affair, but it will also give her a little time to get her head around it and plan what to do, I hope it all works out for the best but must be a worrying time for you.
Original post by Anonymous
Both options are a strain

this is just stressing me out


I'm really really sorry you have to be in this situation. Do you have someone in RL you could talk to, like a teacher or friend? They might be able to give some good advice (since they know you a lot better than people here do).
Original post by BrainDrain
What a dreadful position to be in, whatever you decide to do will have repercussions.

If it was me, I would have a chat with my mum along the lines of ..have you noticed this that and the other about dads behaviour recently, and do you think he is maybe up to no good again.

She will soon figure out for herself if I know the average scorned woman if he is having an affair, but it will also give her a little time to get her head around it and plan what to do, I hope it all works out for the best but must be a worrying time for you.


The most sensible suggestion I've received so far :h:

If I were to follow your advice, I'd probably do this while my dad was out..

Thank you for being understanding though, I really appreciate it :hugs:
Original post by louieee
Make him buy you things, exploit the hell out of the situation, and then tell your mother after he's bought you a car.


haha good one
Original post by HuggleyDuck
I'm really really sorry you have to be in this situation. Do you have someone in RL you could talk to, like a teacher or friend? They might be able to give some good advice (since they know you a lot better than people here do).


My friend's wouldn't understand, and I'm afraid they'll judge me

My teachers wouldn't understand either, I feel like they'd always be looking at me with pity or whatever in their eyes. Plus, something happened to me a few years ago which already has them feeling sorry for me, I wouldn't want to add this situation to the list :erm:
If it was me I would speak to my Dad and tell him I know and that if he doesn't tell my Mum then I will be telling her myself.

It's horrible and your Mother should know that she's being cheated on.
Original post by georgia17xo
Well they're not married but they split up for a while and the man she was having an affair with's wife gave my mum loads of **** and stuff which was understandable but it was hard to watch. It's better to get it out in the open now rather than later. I waited a few months because I tried to ignore it but it was really hard and I felt so guilty on my dad. So getting it out now will hopefully resolve it. Although every situation is different and I don't know if your dads done it before but they might be able to work things out you never know-my parents did :smile: either way admitting you know will ease your feelings of guilt, because it will come out eventually x


I'm so sorry to hear that, but I'm happy that things are going okay-ish for you now :h:

ahh the guilt feeling is certainly real for me haha, and I don't want to leave this hanging since I'll be going to uni next year and all..
Original post by Anonymous
I'm so sorry to hear that, but I'm happy that things are going okay-ish for you now :h:

ahh the guilt feeling is certainly real for me haha, and I don't want to leave this hanging since I'll be going to uni next year and all..


I know it's a horrible situation and either way you'll be hurting someone you love :frown: thank you i really hope your parents can work this out too! The feeling of guilt is too much. Maybe take your mum aside and drop hints to her, like 'do you ever go through dads phone' or something like that. I know it sounds stupid but it might be the push she needs to realise what's going on x
Reply 38
Original post by Anonymous
So you're telling me it's right to allow my mum to get hurt because I'm "only their child?" that's stupid.


Fair enough. I'm really very sorry this has happened.
Tell her. I'd also suggest that you maybe break a bone or two.

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