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My boyfriend has stopped having sex with me

Both me and my boyfriend are 20 and we've been together for around 3 years. At the start of our relationship he was a lot more interested in having sex than now, now he isn't bothered at all. I don't really understand because I thought he would be more interested than me. I'm starting to feel inadequate though I know he's not planning on leaving me because our relationship is really strong. I don't know what to do now :s-smilie:

Reply 1

Alba2013

I'd start by asking him why he isn't interested in sex anymore and take it from there.

Reply 2

Studentus-anonymous

At the risk of sounding crude, buy a vibrator. Also if you've not been the initiator lately, try giving that a go.

The biggest myth is that guys are nothing but sexual dogs, life-support mechanisms for their gonads.

Anything and everything that can make a woman feel un-sexy or uninterested in sex can work on men (minus gender specific stuff).

If all else fails, just talk to him, calmly. Chances are thanks to his upbringing pounding it into him (no pun) that men should be sexually obsessed animals he'll be extremely hesitant, avoidant and hostile to the topic, but if you approach the discussion right he may relax, open up and possibly share any issues he's having.

Unfortunately at 3 years in this is just a thing that happens to people, usually if it's the woman it's no big deal because cultural norms dictate the woman is supposed to shoot her man down all the time and he's sort of just got to live with the frustration.
People clearly don't have any frame of reference for when it's the other way round.
You'll want to get frustrated, sad, angry, start blaming him but you gotta stay calm and keep a logical perspective.

If you love him your both going to have to find a happy middle-ground.

Best of luck OP.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 3