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I'm a frigid guy, need some advice.

So I'm a guy, i'm 19 years old and without tooting my horn i'm quite attractive.

I was a fugly little spawn up until around 17, when I began growing and lifting weights progressively. Now i'm like 6'1 and have washboard abs, a nice face etc. I get looks on the road a fair bit and when I go on nights out, girls are incredibly forthcoming (grinding against me when I don't even approach etc) although usually drunk.

My problem is though, that when I was younger I got bullied a lot and i've internalized a feelings of self hatred and insecurity. I still feel like the same ugly little boy and lack the confidence and agression men my age need to do well. I can never be sure when a girl likes me, even when they're throwing themselves at me I still don't really want to make a move as I assume it's only as they're really drunk.

I've had a few opportunities to loose my virginity but I suppose waiting so long has led me to want ideal circumstances to loose it under if you know what I mean. One time there was this house part and I pulled the most attractive girl there, but when we went upstairs I didn't make the move and we just spooned all night.

Anyway to the point now, a few days ago I was at this festival and I got about 4 girls numbers. I'm thinking of taking some of them for dates and seeing where things go, hopefully we end up doing the deed, I'm kind of sick of being a virgin and want to just get rid of it already but every time I actually get close I tense up and start worrying n ****.

Any tips ?
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Avatar for sherleine
sherleine
Nah, I don't intend to be a hopeless romantic here but... look for someone who understands your internal crisis. She's all around you for all I know. You just failed (i guess) to acknowledge her presence. Casual hook ups are okay. But in the long run, it may even severe your self-hatred or insecurity because you wont be having something that is solid. Did I hear an "easier said than done"? Well, it's pretty simple. Think of the girls who you are really comfortable with, that you can be yourself when you're together, someone who makes you feel at ease. Got someone in mind? Maybe you can start spending more time with her.
Are you looking for a relationship? I think you would find your first sexual experience more satisfying if you were with a girl that actually meant something to you. Bullying has lasting affects and I'm sorry you had to endure that. I agree with the above poster that you might end up feeling worse if you gave your virginity up to a one night stand. You should wait until it is special. If you're have girls wanting to get to know you then take the time and get to know some of them properly. If you're not ready to commit to a full relationship then having your first experience be with someone you've gotten to know over a period a time will still be more rewarding than the girl you went out with solely for sex.

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