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what does he want from me?

Ok so this guy randomly approached me in uni and asked if I had facebook (we'd never spoken before and he's not on my course and that was the first thing he asked after my name) and then added me on there. He messages me almost every day (90% of the time he starts the conversations) so I thought he really liked me, and he also asks alot of questions to do with what I find attractive, whether or not I like beards and what I look for in a partner etc. But then I found out that he had a fiance and when I asked about her he said oh she's my potential fiance it's still early days and then when I asked more he said actually she's my fiance. And when I asked why he said potential fiance when they're actually engaged he said 'I'm just joking with you'.

So anyway what does he want from me?

He also asked me stuff like what would your parents do if you were with a guy from outside your race and also whether or not I mind if the guy was younger than me (this guy is a year younger than me).

Also before approaching me I used to see him around alot and he'd stare alot and smile

UPDATE: recently he said to me 'I want to eat you', and when I asked what he meant he said 'I don't know I'm talking to a certain someone right now so my mind turns weird' or something along those lines. Then a few days later he said I'm like a sister to him and another few days later he admitted she was actually his wife and not fiance. He asks me to hang out with him almost every day after uni. He's having alot of problems with his wife and he's worried she's not interested in him because she never wants to spend time with him. I give him advice about this now when we meet but to be honest our conversations in person aren't amazing so I don't know why he wants to keep hanging out lol. Also he's told me there's no physical intimacy in his marriage.
(edited 8 years ago)

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Reply 1
Original post by tammie123
Ok so this guy randomly approached me in uni and asked if I had facebook and then added me on there. He messages me almost every day (90% of the time he starts the conversations) so I thought he really liked me, and he also asks alot of questions to do with what I find attractive, whether or not I like beards and what I look for in a partner etc. But then I found out that he had a fiance and when I asked about her he said oh she's my potential fiance it's still early days and then when I asked more he said actually she's my fiance. And when I asked why he said potential he said 'I'm just joking with you'.

So anyway what does he want from me?

He also asked me stuff like what would your parents do if you were with a guy from outside your race and also whether or not I mind if the guy was younger than me (this guy is a year younger than me).

Also before approaching me I used to see him around alot and he'd stare alot and smile


How long have you been talking to him? and has he done anything to express interest in you (sexually)?
Reply 2
If I were you I'd stay well clear of that...

Imagine if you were his Fiance, and you found out he was talking to somebody else asking about their preferences in a suggestive manor.

If he's just looking to be friends then yeah sure, but anything more and he's cheating. :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by MAINE.
How long have you been talking to him? and has he done anything to express interest in you (sexually)?


Original post by LordLewi
If I were you I'd stay well clear of that...
Imagine if you were his Fiance, and you found out he was talking to somebody else asking about their preferences in a suggestive manor.
If he's just looking to be friends then yeah sure, but anything more and he's cheating. :smile:
Posted from TSR Mobile


If he just wants to be friends then I'm fine with that, but I'm confused with him. One time he asked me who should make the first move the guy or girl and I said that it would have to be the guy. Then he asked me to describe how he would do that. That seemed quite innapropriate but I don't know if I'm looking too into this. Another time he randomly said I need a shower and then said 'I'm talking to you as if you're my wife, telling you all my details'.
anyone else?
Original post by tammie123
Ok so this guy randomly approached me in uni and asked if I had facebook and then added me on there. He messages me almost every day (90% of the time he starts the conversations) so I thought he really liked me, and he also asks alot of questions to do with what I find attractive, whether or not I like beards and what I look for in a partner etc. But then I found out that he had a fiance and when I asked about her he said oh she's my potential fiance it's still early days and then when I asked more he said actually she's my fiance. And when I asked why he said potential he said 'I'm just joking with you'.
So anyway what does he want from me?
He also asked me stuff like what would your parents do if you were with a guy from outside your race and also whether or not I mind if the guy was younger than me (this guy is a year younger than me).
Also before approaching me I used to see him around alot and he'd stare alot and smile


Original post by tammie123
anyone else?


There are not many options here. Guys tend to be simple.

1. He wants to be in a relationship with you (which might or might not involve breaking up with his current partner) but first wants to know if you like him
2. He wants to have sex with you and nothing else

At any point, if you fancy him, you should notice that he is chatting a girl up while he still has a girlfriend. To me, sounds like a potential/current cheater, if you are fine with that, you could let him know you are game. Else, block him from Facebook and let him know in person that you are not interested in sex/relationship.

Done. :smile:

P.S. If I were you, I would also screenshot and keep your convos in case his jealous girlfriend accusses you of stealing his boyfriend. :smile:
Reply 6
Original post by tammie123
Ok so this guy randomly approached me in uni and asked if I had facebook and then added me on there. He messages me almost every day (90% of the time he starts the conversations) so I thought he really liked me, and he also asks alot of questions to do with what I find attractive, whether or not I like beards and what I look for in a partner etc. But then I found out that he had a fiance and when I asked about her he said oh she's my potential fiance it's still early days and then when I asked more he said actually she's my fiance. And when I asked why he said potential he said 'I'm just joking with you'.

So anyway what does he want from me?

He also asked me stuff like what would your parents do if you were with a guy from outside your race and also whether or not I mind if the guy was younger than me (this guy is a year younger than me).

Also before approaching me I used to see him around alot and he'd stare alot and smile


Just because he's asked those questions, doesn't mean he definitely likes you in a romantic way. But it is possible that he does.
He might be looking to cheat on his fiancé which is not a good thing so just be careful. Are you sure he actually has a fiancé? He could be lying about it just to get you jealous.
All seems a bit creepy to be honest, steer clear.
He's obviously into you, he wants you very bad. But he's too afraid to come out and tell you this directly. He may even be a little obsessed with you if he's texting you daily.
Reply 9
Yeah, I'd not get too involved with him. It will only cause trouble in the end. I understand he could just be asking these questions as a friend...but then again they're still weird to ask! You could always say what do you see me as? :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by tammie123
Ok so this guy randomly approached me in uni and asked if I had facebook and then added me on there. He messages me almost every day (90% of the time he starts the conversations) so I thought he really liked me, and he also asks alot of questions to do with what I find attractive, whether or not I like beards and what I look for in a partner etc. But then I found out that he had a fiance and when I asked about her he said oh she's my potential fiance it's still early days and then when I asked more he said actually she's my fiance. And when I asked why he said potential he said 'I'm just joking with you'.

So anyway what does he want from me?

He also asked me stuff like what would your parents do if you were with a guy from outside your race and also whether or not I mind if the guy was younger than me (this guy is a year younger than me).

Also before approaching me I used to see him around alot and he'd stare alot and smile


He wants to give you the 'D'

Posted from TSR Mobile
Maybe a flirt? The type of guy who enjoys getting multiple girls interested in him to boost his ego.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Olivia9
Just because he's asked those questions, doesn't mean he definitely likes you in a romantic way. But it is possible that he does.
He might be looking to cheat on his fiancé which is not a good thing so just be careful. Are you sure he actually has a fiancé? He could be lying about it just to get you jealous.


When he approached me we had never spoken before and he's not on my course but I used to see him in the library. He just randomly came up to me one day and asked for my facebook after asking my name (that was the first thing he said). And also when I found out about the fiance I don't understand why he tried to lie and say she's his potential fiance and its still early days. Then admitted that it was infact his fiance. If they're engaged then it's clearly not just early days. So I don't know what he's trying to do
Original post by SeanFM
All seems a bit creepy to be honest, steer clear.


What do you mean? Why does it seem creepy?
Original post by Liquid Harvest
He's obviously into you, he wants you very bad. But he's too afraid to come out and tell you this directly. He may even be a little obsessed with you if he's texting you daily.


If a guy texts a girl daily, does that mean they're obsessed? I have a guy who texts me everyday, should I be worried? :curious:
And OP, he could have been friendly when he was asking you all those questions but the fact that he didn't disclose he has a fiance rings alarm bells. I wouldn't associate myself with someone like him if I were you but if you decide to keep him as a friend, I wouldn't get too close.
Original post by tammie123
What do you mean? Why does it seem creepy?


It seems like he's forced the friendship to happen. (If you say it's random, I'm guessing you weren't at a party or a society, he's just seen you around and wanted to talk to you). I want to say that a guy looking for friendship wouldn't do that, whereas a guy who wants more from the start would make that happen. It looks like you've said that it's the library, so no real reason to come up to you and ask for your facebook the first time you've ever said anything.

It just seems creepy because it's awfully forward for someone who's *engaged* to someone else, and someone who isn't involved with you.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by RainbowKiwi
If a guy texts a girl daily, does that mean they're obsessed? I have a guy who texts me everyday, should I be worried? :curious:


This is just my opinion, others may disagree, but I think texting someone daily is very obsessive. Especially when it's a guy texting a girl, he's obviously interested in you. If you enjoy chatting to him and the conversation is good and if you're interested in him as well, then it's good, otherwise it might become annoying and clingy.
Original post by Liquid Harvest
This is just my opinion, others may disagree, but I think texting someone daily is very obsessive. Especially when it's a guy texting a girl, he's obviously interested in you. If you enjoy chatting to him and the conversation is good and if you're interested in him as well, then it's good, otherwise it might become annoying and clingy.


I like him as a friend and I always thought that's how he liked me too. The conversations we have aren't always long so I just assumed he's bored and texts me - which I'm ok with. I think we both friendzoned each other lol.
The thirst is strong with this one.

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