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ex seems a différent person now he's with a new girl

He left me for another girl after 3 years after making hints that I was no longer entertaining, he had become bored etc.

It hurt because we used to have a lot of fun, went out often, and we seemed very similar. I don't really drink, but i'm still happy to go to pubs and bars, like socialising, going to concerts, cinema etc. And I love sports.
I've been told i'm sharp-witted and I suppose the way I am may come across as boring.

The girl he left me for seems to be a massive party animal, out most nights,can drink more beer than a typical lad, always doing 'crazy stuff', falling over in the street etc. Before they were getting closer, he actually told me she was annoying and immature.

Anyway we've managed to remain friendly and i'm shocked at what he tells me. He's gotten into a couple of fights with other guys, he's doing stuff like dancing topless in the middle of a club. He seems to be careless (something he was always mad at me for). He lost a pair of ray ban sunglasses when drunk and has said stuff like they booked a train to Holland and had absolutely no idea how long it'd take, they hadn't even checked.

He managed to impale his leg on a spike when drunk and has a huge scar. It's just stuff like that. It's really not the guy I knew and it hurts to feel that he's having so much fun with her. He didn't even used to drink much when we were dating.

Makes me feel like I was a killjoy even though I was always up for going out etc. Seems to be such a heavy drinker now. His choice of course... But what do people make of this? We're 24 btw

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She's clearly incredible in bed (the mental ones often are), hence keeping up a front in other areas. It looks shallow to be with someone with whom you have little in common just because they're a fantastic shag, but many guys will do it.

He will eventually tire of this, but it may take a while.
:whip:
Reply 3
Lol.. Well he told me they have a lot in common and they have 'great discussions'.
He used to say the same about me when we were starting out... Anyway it hurts but trying to tell myself she's not 'better', just different .
Thanks for your reply :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Lol.. Well he told me they have a lot in common and they have 'great discussions'.
He used to say the same about me when we were starting out... Anyway it hurts but trying to tell myself she's not 'better', just different .
Thanks for your reply :smile:


She's definitely not better, that's for sure.
Reply 5
Thanks x
Original post by TheGrammarGuru
She's definitely not better, that's for sure.


How do you definitely know for "sure" that she isn't better?
He's probably just embracing this excitement and the change. I wouldn't worry. Someone like that, he would never take seriously. I give it a year, tops.
Reply 8
Thanks :smile: yeah I guess it got stale after 3 years and she's new and exciting..
Here are my thoughts.

You should NOT be in contact with someone who dumps you for another girl after 3 years! I thought that would have been obvious to you. You're only hurting yourself by maintaining contact, I don't think you can handle this unless you stop talking for him for a while and allow yourself to move on and heal.

He left you for what sounds like a trashy girl. Getting drunk, being reckless with your body, making a drunken scene in public, getting involved in accidents and making rash decisions do not sound like fun ways to spend one's time. If that is his idea of fun, then fair enough...declasse.

Don't let anyone tell you that you're boring, and you shouldn't think that you're a killjoy. He wanted to leave, that's unfortunate but this happens a lot. You just have to move on, tell him not to share any more details of his life with his new girlfriend with you. He wanted a silly, trashy ladette, it's his choice and you can't change what's happened. Sounds like she really unleashed his wild side, and not in a good way. You dodged a bullet, I don't think you want to be involved with someone who tells you that you're boring etc. Cut contact and ex him out permanently.
Men grow out of these type of girls. It's not a reflection on you if anything it suggests he's so insecure and unhappy in himself he is just trying to fit into the crowd. I bet he's off out with all her friends. He sounds a prick your better without him cut him out. He's having his cake and eating it he's gping out with her but still has you hanging on. Cut him out.

I was like this I had a boyfriend I dot really drink I'm very quiet im the sort of person who listens in conversations not holds court. I'm not a loud mouth jokey girl like the one you describe. My ex cheated on me with his flatmate who was a party animal drunk all the time loud mouth. I let it bother me then 4 months after we split I cut him out my life. I met the most amazing man (been together 4 years now) my ex broke up with that girl after a year as she cheated on him (kalma) he cane crawling back to me and the best feeling ever was to tell him to **** off and never contact me again. Ultimately your going to have the last laugh get him out your life.
Always funny when people start degrading the partner in relationship threads even though they know nothing about them. He's suddenly a prick for breaking up with someone he's bored of dating and finds someone who has sparked his current interests more, god forbid he want to have more fun.

Tsr can be so pathetic.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by So Instinct
Always funny when people start degrading the partner in relationship threads even though they know nothing about them. He's suddenly a prick for breaking up with someone he's bored of dating and finds someone who has sparked his current interests more, god forbid he want to have more fun.
Tsr can be so pathetic.


He left her for this woman which suggests something occurred while they were ina Relationshp so yes a prick
Original post by SillyMilly
He left her for this woman which suggests something occurred while they were ina Relationshp so yes a prick


She sparked his interest and so he ended his relationship to start one with her. There is literally nothing wrong with that and is very common.

Nice assumption though, lets turn him into the bad guy at all costs. Hows that chip on your shoulder doing?
(edited 8 years ago)
from what you said I think he is putting up a front and hiding his emotions, the girl he's with is very different from you and I guess that's something he has to adapt to.
eventually, from personal experience, he will stop behaving like that as it is incredibly exhausting
This is just what happens. People change you. I'm a complete different person now to who I was when I was in a relationship a few months ago. I was boring, now I'm reckless but I know I'll calm down soon. Sounds like common post break up behaviour. You want to feel differently so you behave differently.
Original post by So Instinct
She sparked his interest and so he ended his relationship to start one with her. There is literally nothing wrong with that and is very common.
Nice assumption though, lets turn him into the bad guy at all costs. Hows that chip on your shoulder doing?


Chip ? No just have morals that I wokldnt be speaking to another man while in a Relationshp he's made this girl feel like **** he should cut contact with her not leading her on
Original post by SillyMilly
Chip ? No just have morals that I wokldnt be speaking to another man while in a Relationshp he's made this girl feel like **** he should cut contact with her not leading her on


You don't even speak to the other sex during a relationship? That's speaks more loudly of the insecurities within your relationships than anything else.

It's not his responsibility to cut contact, that's her problem.

Yes, chip. Chip or projection, but by the looks of it.. Both.
Original post by So Instinct
You don't even speak to the other sex during a relationship? That's speaks more loudly of the insecurities within your relationships than anything else.
It's not his responsibility to cut contact, that's her problem.


That's not what I said I live with four boys and there my best friends my boyfriends best friend is female. But for it to lead straight into a Relationshp suggests there was some flirting. Anyway it's all speculation but he should cut Contact with her. Bit wierd he needs to tell her all about his nights out that's not normal to tell your ex.
Original post by SillyMilly
That's not what I said I live with four boys and there my best friends my boyfriends best friend is female. But for it to lead straight into a Relationshp suggests there was some flirting. Anyway it's all speculation but he should cut Contact with her. Bit wierd he needs to tell her all about his nights out that's not normal to tell your ex.


Yes speculation, you're making someone out to be prick based on your biased speculation.

And no, just because they got together after doesn't mean he was necessarily flirting during the relationship. We don't know the exact time frame either, they could have begun flirting after he became single.

How do you know he needs to tell her, rather than her wanting to know or the conversation simply leading there? If she doesn't like it she can cut contact with him, again it's not his responsibility. I managed to stay very good friends with ex's and we still talk about whatever we want including fun nights out.

I'm not even trying to prove he's innocent, rather that the assumption that he must be guilty of a conclusion that you're jumping too and therefore he is a prick, is pathetic. As is everyone else who is degrading him/the girl he's dating over baseless accusations. For all we know he's a really cool guy who just got bored and happened to meet someone he had more fun with, but no he's the scum of the earth apparently.
(edited 8 years ago)

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