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The more he pushes me away, the more I want him

I honestly don't know what is wrong with me, I'm not affectionate or emotional and I'm very reserved with my emotions. I know this guy had feelings for me, and I didn't reciprocate them at the time. He is distancing himself from me because he thinks I don't like him, and it's making me want him really badly. I literally can't stop thinking about him and talking about him to my best friend. My friend tells me to forget about him and just move on, but I can't stand the thought of losing him. I've never had that much of a connection with a guy, as I have with him. I'm so frustrated, I feel really helpless right now.

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Reply 1
I'm trying really hard to distract myself by revising for some exams I'm due to take, I've tried watching some new tv shows, been to the gym etc. It doesn't help because I'm still thinking about it at the gym, whilst watching tv, whilst trying to sleep etc.
guessing he has no idea you like him.

ever thought about letting him know? lol.
Is there a reason why you can't tell him that you like him too? Did he cool off with his affections because he thought you didn't like him, or does he still like you anyway and it's a case of crossed wires?
Original post by Anonymous
I honestly don't know what is wrong with me, I'm not affectionate or emotional and I'm very reserved with my emotions. I know this guy had feelings for me, and I didn't reciprocate them at the time. He is distancing himself from me because he thinks I don't like him, and it's making me want him really badly. I literally can't stop thinking about him and talking about him to my best friend. My friend tells me to forget about him and just move on, but I can't stand the thought of losing him. I've never had that much of a connection with a guy, as I have with him. I'm so frustrated, I feel really helpless right now.

Message him hi
Are you from Bedfordshire
Reply 6
Original post by ChickenMadness
guessing he has no idea you like him.

ever thought about letting him know? lol.


no he has no idea how much I like him. I only started feeling like this when I started losing him, because I don't know.. I always had him and when he wasn't there I realised how much of an impact he actually has on me. The thing is, he won't tell me directly that he likes me, I found out through a friend (he discussed it with her and I've seen the text messages regarding myself too) so I'm not sure how to confront him about this without making things very awkward, and seeing as though he thinks I don't reciprocate his feelings, he may well deny having any feelings for me altogether, even if he does.
Original post by African.Bambata
You like bad boys.:smug:
Trust me, PM me, I can be your bad boy.
No Valentine's present or birthday gift, you can be certain that I'll treat you like dirt:wink:


Original post by ElectronDonor
Are you from Bedfordshire


Original post by Adipoptosis


Look who's talking, this is coming from a guy that always get's friends zoned on his threads.:lol:
Reply 9
Original post by ElectronDonor
Message him hi


He now takes about 10 hours or a day to respond to a simple hello from me, whereas last week it was instantaneous. Everytime he sees himself getting close to me (as in we have a really long, deep conversation), the next day he'll ignore me.. something about not wanting to get too attached to me as he mentioned a few months ago which I found strange. He just ignored my message. I'm giving him exactly what he wants here, but he doesn't seem to give a sh*it and it hurts my feelings to be honest.
Original post by African.Bambata
Look who's talking, this is coming from a guy that always get's friends zoned on his threads.:lol:


Yeh but I don't go around asking out like completely random girls lol

The girls who friend zone me are way out of my league.
Original post by Anonymous
no he has no idea how much I like him. I only started feeling like this when I started losing him, because I don't know.. I always had him and when he wasn't there I realised how much of an impact he actually has on me. The thing is, he won't tell me directly that he likes me, I found out through a friend (he discussed it with her and I've seen the text messages regarding myself too) so I'm not sure how to confront him about this without making things very awkward, and seeing as though he thinks I don't reciprocate his feelings, he may well deny having any feelings for me altogether, even if he does.


Just tell him you fancy him lol.

"hey wanted to tell you something"
'sure hwat?'
"I actually really fancy you"

lmao. Then ask if he feels the same. Then ask for sex or whatever if thats what you want lol. Shouldn't be difficult for you since you already know he likes you.
Original post by Anonymous
He now takes about 10 hours or a day to respond to a simple hello from me, whereas last week it was instantaneous. Everytime he sees himself getting close to me (as in we have a really long, deep conversation), the next day he'll ignore me.. something about not wanting to get too attached to me as he mentioned a few months ago which I found strange. He just ignored my message. I'm giving him exactly what he wants here, but he doesn't seem to give a sh*it and it hurts my feelings to be honest.

Do u speak in real life
If you want to be with him then you're going to have to show him you like him. Start with something small like giving him a big hug or telling him you've missed him. You're really going to have to step outside your comfort zone if you want to stop pushing him away.

I was/am in a similar situation. I don't do emotions and I don't really show affection. So this dude thought I didn't like him, so he took a step back. I noticed he was distancing himself , so I starting making more of an effort. I even wrote something for him on my blog and sent him the link, he started to understand the kind of person I was. It is a good idea to let him know that you are not someone who wears their heart on their sleeve and hopefully he gets it. Of course you will have to let your actions speak for you also.

Don't leave it too long. Trust me, I know how it feels to almost lose the one you love and not being able to blame anyone but yourself.
Original post by puddingbot
Is there a reason why you can't tell him that you like him too? Did he cool off with his affections because he thought you didn't like him, or does he still like you anyway and it's a case of crossed wires?


This is exactly it. He is keeping his distance from me because he doesn't want to get close to somebody who he thinks he can't have. I have no idea whether he still likes me, he just thinks I don't like him romantically in the slightest, so hasn't ever tried to mention anything related to the matter since. I haven't told him about my feelings because we live far away from each other, and I really don't want to hold him back from finding a girl closer to him.

I can see how little effort he is putting into maintaining our current relationship and so this puts me off developing it any further. I mean he keeps ignoring me, giving me one worded answers and such, I told him it was my results day today and he didn't even bother asking me if I passed the year, and ignored me for the rest of the day. I'm pretty sure I'll give up in about a day, and just think this isn't worth it.
Original post by phunky_fresh
If you want to be with him then you're going to have to show him you like him. Start with something small like giving him a big hug or telling him you've missed him. You're really going to have to step outside your comfort zone if you want to stop pushing him away.

I was/am in a similar situation. I don't do emotions and I don't really show affection. So this dude thought I didn't like him, so he took a step back. I noticed he was distancing himself , so I starting making more of an effort. I even wrote something for him on my blog and sent him the link, he started to understand the kind of person I was. It is a good idea to let him know that you are not someone who wears their heart on their sleeve and hopefully he gets it. Of course you will have to let your actions speak for you also.

Don't leave it too long. Trust me, I know how it feels to almost lose the one you love and not being able to blame anyone but yourself.


Thank you for the advice. My friend knows I have feelings for him and she told me the same thing. I never compliment this guy, I've never even given the slightest HINT of liking him, I've always have a guard up. I want to tell him little things like I missed him or how gorgeous his eyes are.. if he didn't keep ignoring me and taking longer than a day to respond to a hello from me. I'm not going to let him go that easily though, because I'm already loathing myself for letting the situation get like this in the first place.
Original post by ElectronDonor
Do u speak in real life


We live about 5 hours away from each other which makes things very difficult, and is one of the reasons why I hid my feelings from him in the first place. We have been texting, calling and using Skype to communicate for just over a year now.
Original post by Anonymous
He now takes about 10 hours or a day to respond to a simple hello from me, whereas last week it was instantaneous. Everytime he sees himself getting close to me (as in we have a really long, deep conversation), the next day he'll ignore me.. something about not wanting to get too attached to me as he mentioned a few months ago which I found strange. He just ignored my message. I'm giving him exactly what he wants here, but he doesn't seem to give a sh*it and it hurts my feelings to be honest.


i ain't even gonna be nice here. tough. all you can do now, is hope he gives you another chance.

tbh.. you deserve it. YOU CAUSED it by blanking and turning him down in the first place. you don't actually know how much he was pining for you before you turned him down. in addition, you don't know how much it hurt to be turned down by someone so close to you. someone who's always been there for you for a long time. someone who actually put in the effort to make you smile and make your day. you deserve all the pain that's coming. it hurts to be rejected each time a guy approaches a stranger.. but it hurts more when it comes from someone that close.

it's your fault. cry me a river.
Original post by theDanIdentity
i ain't even gonna be nice here. tough. all you can do now, is hope he gives you another chance.

tbh.. you deserve it. YOU CAUSED it by blanking and turning him down in the first place. you don't actually know how much he was pining for you before you turned him down. in addition, you don't know how much it hurt to be turned down by someone so close to you. someone who's always been there for you for a long time. someone who actually put in the effort to make you smile and make your day. you deserve all the pain that's coming. it hurts to be rejected each time a guy approaches a stranger.. but it hurts more when it comes from someone that close.

it's your fault. cry me a river.


I haven't told the full story here. He was pining for me but at the same time he'd treat me like ****, say nasty things about me to other people, argue with me aggressively if I so much as spoke to another guy, give me the silent treatment because 'I deserved to be taught a lesson' and a lot more. He really wasn't in my good books at the time and this is why I didn't like him romantically. However, he has changed over the year and treats me with a lot more respect than he did initially, and he tells me personal things and says little sweet things to me that eventually made me fall for him. It didn't help that he confessed his feelings the day after shouting at me for talking to another guy that wasn't him. He wasn't really there for me much either, I'd tell him something that had happened to me and sometimes he'd just ignore it which would really piss me off inside and drive me away. He isn't like this anymore however, now he IS there for me.

I can't really help that I only started liking him once he changed his behaviour, I can't just switch my feelings on and off.
Reply 19
Original post by Anonymous
We live about 5 hours away from each other which makes things very difficult, and is one of the reasons why I hid my feelings from him in the first place. We have been texting, calling and using Skype to communicate for just over a year now.


I was going to suggest for you to do something, until I read this. If you live so far away, then just move on. No point starting a relationship with just texting, calling and Skype.

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