First ever girlfriend broke up with me yesterday.

We had been going out for 10 months, I loved her more than anything else in the world, we had a lot of arguments but we both loved each other. Most of the arguments revolved around commitment issues. Within the first three months of getting together she was talking about getting engaged, having kids, moving in a flat together and planning the wedding.

I took the view this was completely crazy but she didn't understand so many arguments ensued every time she brought any topic relating to these issues up which was quite a lot over the course of the 10 months we were together. Despite this, I loved her more than anything in the world, my first love, I wanted her to be my last.

She was very much like me too, so it's hard letting to go of someone that is very much like me and it's honestly hard to think how I could possibly meet someone again who will accept me for who I am. We met over Facebook, she was coming to university that following year and we met on the freshers page and got talking, she didn't have a place to stay despite the start of university coming up in a few weeks time.

By some divine miracle as if we were meant to be one of my flatmates had moved out a few days prior to live somewhere else and had been posting on the freshers page for someone to take her contract off her hands. I told her about this situation and she floated the idea of possibly taking her place. So it happened. The first day we were able to move into our flat was the same day we met face to face for the first time, we knew we would get together when we met face to face as we talked about it beforehand and we had been talking for a few months before moving in.

The first 3 and a half months we lived in the same bedroom together, my room effectively became a spare room. Then after Christmas we started to live in our rooms separately for some space and because it eventually got annoying having to move all my stuff back everytime her parents came to visit because we didn't want them to see we were sharing a room.

Having our own bed became a good feeling so we kept it like that. We saw each other every single day for over 9 months because of us living under the same roof. Her contract ended before mine so she left back home which isn't far away, probably an hour or so both train and walking to get there.

The reason she broke up with me was because she said she wanted to focus on herself, her studies and to generally get her life together. She was having trouble in first year with assignments. I tried my best to persuade her on numerous occasions that I would not get in the way of what she wanted to achieve and become in life, but she felt having a relationship while at university was too much of a distraction for her so she ended it.

She was adamant in telling me that she was done with relationships for the time being until she left university and got her career sorted out and everything. I'm in my last year of university whereas she still has another 3 years at university to go so there was quite some distance between us academically also.

I feel completely heartbroken, I can't sleep at night anymore and all night and day my heart feels like it's about to collapse from the amount of emotional pain I'm feeling right now. I haven't eaten all day and I constantly feel sick to my stomach because I know I have lost her and there is no changing her mind, I have tried, to her annoyance.

I'm 20 years old, I have absolutely no friends whatsoever and that is by no means an exaggeration, she was my first ever girlfriend I met over Facebook which sounds ridiculous, I feel like I'm never going to meet anybody ever again.. especially since I've never asked any girl out in person before in my life,

I have no friends to make connections with as a fast track to meeting other girls and I'm in my last year of university so I feel like this is my last chance to meet people and change something in my life or assign my life to a nothingness, as i'll be forced to return back to my hometown which I absolutely hate and never want to go back to at all, the population there is miniscule, there is nothing there and no jobs to boot.

I would do anything not to return there..as such the only thing I did agree with her was that we should move in together, we were planning on moving in our flat together in November but now that she is gone it won't happen.

I really need some encouraging advice right now..I'm completely miserable..I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman..and now it's gone. She loved me too, despite her saying I hurt her sometimes but she knew I loved her and she loved me back..but the fact of the matter was she wanted to concentrate on herself without distractions. It feels wrong to have ended it, but she is adamant it's the right thing to do. I have lost her..

Your difficulties do not seem insurmountable.

Give her some space, but try to enter into a dialogue about saving the relationship.

I would be concerned about her sleeping with other people in the rebound phase (sorry), so you need to get in there relatively quick.

You should tell her that you can see the future she had planned, and that give her the view that the commitment she was after is possible after all.

Again, I have already done this too, I told her how I was scared of commitment at first and that I was scared we were moving too fast but I told her I have come to the genuine realization that I want to be with her for the rest of my life and that I wanted to marry her in the future and I told her I was prepared to get down on my knee when I see next see her and ask her to become my fiancee.

We were already planning on moving in together into our flat since way back last year and I had no issues with that but since she came around saying that she wanted to focus on her self she said she wanted the flat all to her self now and not me to move in.. because she wanted to use my bedroom which i was supposed to move into as a study room because she wants to become a writer and has always wanted a little study room to do her writing in and so forth.

Still, she rejected it saying he needs to focus on herself and all that which I have already said. She was beyond committed to the idea that she still loved me at least a little bit and that she did not want anything to do with romantic relationships for the next 3 years at university and this whole breaking up wasn't my fault in any way but that she just wanted to concentrate on herself for the time being.

This is either fixable, or there is someone else.

Isn't this behaviour a little out of character - especially during uni holidays?! You need to get to the bottom of what is going on with her.

We had been going out for 10 months, I loved her more than anything else in the world, we had a lot of arguments but we both loved each other. Most of the arguments revolved around commitment issues. Within the first three months of getting together she was talking about getting engaged, having kids, moving in a flat together and planning the wedding.

I took the view this was completely crazy but she didn't understand so many arguments ensued every time she brought any topic relating to these issues up which was quite a lot over the course of the 10 months we were together. Despite this, I loved her more than anything in the world, my first love, I wanted her to be my last.

She was very much like me too, so it's hard letting to go of someone that is very much like me and it's honestly hard to think how I could possibly meet someone again who will accept me for who I am. We met over Facebook, she was coming to university that following year and we met on the freshers page and got talking, she didn't have a place to stay despite the start of university coming up in a few weeks time.

By some divine miracle as if we were meant to be one of my flatmates had moved out a few days prior to live somewhere else and had been posting on the freshers page for someone to take her contract off her hands. I told her about this situation and she floated the idea of possibly taking her place. So it happened. The first day we were able to move into our flat was the same day we met face to face for the first time, we knew we would get together when we met face to face as we talked about it beforehand and we had been talking for a few months before moving in.

The first 3 and a half months we lived in the same bedroom together, my room effectively became a spare room. Then after Christmas we started to live in our rooms separately for some space and because it eventually got annoying having to move all my stuff back everytime her parents came to visit because we didn't want them to see we were sharing a room.

Having our own bed became a good feeling so we kept it like that. We saw each other every single day for over 9 months because of us living under the same roof. Her contract ended before mine so she left back home which isn't far away, probably an hour or so both train and walking to get there.

The reason she broke up with me was because she said she wanted to focus on herself, her studies and to generally get her life together. She was having trouble in first year with assignments. I tried my best to persuade her on numerous occasions that I would not get in the way of what she wanted to achieve and become in life, but she felt having a relationship while at university was too much of a distraction for her so she ended it.

She was adamant in telling me that she was done with relationships for the time being until she left university and got her career sorted out and everything. I'm in my last year of university whereas she still has another 3 years at university to go so there was quite some distance between us academically also.

I feel completely heartbroken, I can't sleep at night anymore and all night and day my heart feels like it's about to collapse from the amount of emotional pain I'm feeling right now. I haven't eaten all day and I constantly feel sick to my stomach because I know I have lost her and there is no changing her mind, I have tried, to her annoyance.

I'm 20 years old, I have absolutely no friends whatsoever and that is by no means an exaggeration, she was my first ever girlfriend I met over Facebook which sounds ridiculous, I feel like I'm never going to meet anybody ever again.. especially since I've never asked any girl out in person before in my life,

I have no friends to make connections with as a fast track to meeting other girls and I'm in my last year of university so I feel like this is my last chance to meet people and change something in my life or assign my life to a nothingness, as i'll be forced to return back to my hometown which I absolutely hate and never want to go back to at all, the population there is miniscule, there is nothing there and no jobs to boot.

I would do anything not to return there..as such the only thing I did agree with her was that we should move in together, we were planning on moving in our flat together in November but now that she is gone it won't happen.

I really need some encouraging advice right now..I'm completely miserable..I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman..and now it's gone. She loved me too, despite her saying I hurt her sometimes but she knew I loved her and she loved me back..but the fact of the matter was she wanted to concentrate on herself without distractions. It feels wrong to have ended it, but she is adamant it's the right thing to do. I have lost her..

She is also beyond annoyed of me trying to persuade her now.. she can't understand why I can't accept that she just wants to be alone and concentrate on herself so it looks like there is no hope, she has removed me from Facebook, (but not blocked me) probably in an effort to try and help me move on.. but i don't want to and I don't feel like I can.. I want to make this work between us but there doesn't seem to be a way.. I have made her angry by trying to fix it..I think I might just give her some space for a while...despite how much that is seriously killing me inside right now.

She has also said that I can talk her one of her friends whom she named if she thinks I don't believe that there isn't someone else.. she says she has been talking about focusing on herself with her friend for a while now and she would testify to that.

Speak to her friend to get a better insight.

I'm on it now.. I will report later.

I think you should let her be alone and focus on studying as she wants. If you stop chasing her she'll have a chance to miss you and might realise that she doesn't want to be alone and could maybe uni and a relationship. Otherwise you'll know she didn't want to be in a relationship as much as you did... Better to find out now then later.

Maybe... but as I've said in earlier replies believe me she seems very adamant that she wants nothing to do with romantic relationships for her next three years at university until she has finished and found a job to get her started in life, she said only then might she be open to relationships again. But three years is a long time to wait.. From what she has said it would seem even giving her some space wouldn't help things.

I haven't eaten all day and I cooked up some food but I can't even eat it, because of my anxiety and how sad I'm feeling right now I don't feel hungry at all despite not eating anything.. I know I have to but every time I try I start feeling sick and I don't want to throw my food back up. :/ I wonder how long I'll feel like this for.. I can't even sleep properly either because getting to sleep is the worst time of the day.. no distractions.. just lying there in bed and all my thoughts start rushing around and I go through the night feeling like my heart is about to just stop beating any minute.

Cool, quote me later, let me know.