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He says he is not for me

I've been dating a guy for a few weeks and I made a really stupid move on saying that I don't trust him on one of the very first meetings. He then repeated a few times that it's all about trust and if I can do that we'd have it all. And therefore I though he is just manipulating me to get sex, but then on one of our dates I told him I'll leave if it's just for sex. He then said no Im leaving. And we both resembled. A week later I called him. He was happy to hear from me but on our next meeting he only came and started making out. No talking. Then I called him couple of more times and finally I asked what's wrong. Where is the guy who used to talk to me everyday. He said I lost him at the very moment I didn't trust him. Further I asked for one more chance and having him back. He then said I'm not for you, and it's nothing to be mad about. I kept asking why and he said you have to learn one lesson: don't fall in love with idiots. Don't waste ur time with me. And I obviously didn't talk anymore just said a few goodbye sentences. Now I'm reconsidering his actions backwards and i don't understand where this major transformation came from. Any similar experiences or advice would be helpful!!
Well as soon as you said you didn't trust him, I think the relationship crumbled tbh..

He probably doesn't want to continue the relationship potentially because of that fatal mistake, possibly, and made those excuses to make the ending of the relationship smoother and not cause too much commotion. That's what I think at least.
Why did you automatically feel you couldn't trust him? Did he have a reputation? It he referred to himself as being an idiot and said he wasn't the one for you and don't 'waste you time' - he may be speaking the truth. Give it sometime - several months and if you still find yourself interested then go back to him and ask to talk. Start over and start slow. Communication is critical.
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
saying that I don't trust him on one of the very first meetings.

I told him I'll leave if it's just for sex.

On our next meeting he only came and started making out.

I asked for one more chance and having him back.

I obviously didn't talk anymore just said a few goodbye sentences.

Now I'm reconsidering his actions


I think considering your own may be a good place to start...
Reply 5
Original post by hopeforthebest1
Why did you automatically feel you couldn't trust him? Did he have a reputation? It he referred to himself as being an idiot and said he wasn't the one for you and don't 'waste you time' - he may be speaking the truth. Give it sometime - several months and if you still find yourself interested then go back to him and ask to talk. Start over and start slow. Communication is critical.


Thanks for ur reply! I am finding it very confusing BCs he used to say to me that I am exactly what he was looking for on the very first meeting so I believe that made me think he's a player so I acted that way. I regret it now but hopefully I would wait for some time and try to contact him.
Original post by Anonymous
I've been dating a guy for a few weeks and I made a really stupid move on saying that I don't trust him on one of the very first meetings. He then repeated a few times that it's all about trust and if I can do that we'd have it all. And therefore I though he is just manipulating me to get sex, but then on one of our dates I told him I'll leave if it's just for sex. He then said no Im leaving. And we both resembled. A week later I called him. He was happy to hear from me but on our next meeting he only came and started making out. No talking. Then I called him couple of more times and finally I asked what's wrong. Where is the guy who used to talk to me everyday. He said I lost him at the very moment I didn't trust him. Further I asked for one more chance and having him back. He then said I'm not for you, and it's nothing to be mad about. I kept asking why and he said you have to learn one lesson: don't fall in love with idiots. Don't waste ur time with me. And I obviously didn't talk anymore just said a few goodbye sentences. Now I'm reconsidering his actions backwards and i don't understand where this major transformation came from. Any similar experiences or advice would be helpful!!

Ask him to start over. Pretend it didn't happen.
Why would you say that first thing? Such a put off

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Let's all make OP feel even worse than she already does :biggrin:
Reply 9
Oh wow. I'm sorry but you need to move on - I'm not sure how to say this gently but your behaviour sounds like something from the Psycho Girlfriend 101. You scared him off, said weird things and were way too clingy and full on. Chalk this one up to experience and do no do these things again! You freaked him out with your comments, then freaked him out with the heavy 'where's the guy I used to talk to' stuff: it's too much. Take it easy next time don't overthink :smile:
[QUOTE="RiahDawson;57627015"]Ask him to start over. Pretend it didn't happen.[/QUOTE
That won't work as it was too much to happen too soon, multiple incidents - he probably has her personality down wrong

We all do daft things sometimes I think she should learn from it as its too late for this one

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