The Student Room Group

Share Your Worries About Going To Uni!

Everyone has worries about going to uni, that's perfectly normal, and chances are, other people have the same concerns as you.

I thought it would be a good idea to have a thread where people could share these concerns, and current uni students can reassure them. Sometimes, just knowing other people have the same concerns as you does help!

Some really common concerns we see on TSR every year include:

- What if my flatmates don't like me? Remember, most people do end up with flatmates they like, or at least can be civil to. In really bad living situations, you can sometimes move flats. However, not being best mates with your flatmates is fine too- most people make their best friends on their course or through societies.
- Can I still make friends if I don't drink? This is such a common question that there must be a lot of people going to uni who don't drink, or don't drink very often! Most societies do offer events that don't revolve around drinking, and most people do other things than just get drunk at uni. You will make friends, and everything will be fine!
- Will people judge me because I'm religious/ a virgin/ don't like clubbing/ have a medical condition? People who judge you for any reason aren't worth knowing. Most people at uni are really open minded, and will hopefully get along with you, but there will always be some rubbish people in every situation. If someone does judge you, they are the ones who will look bad. Just remember to keep an open mind, and respect that not everyone will have the same point of view as you.

Some people may also worry about the cost of living, or coping with study.
Don't forget that your uni can offer help with this if you need it, and they really want you to succeed. Ask for help if you need it!

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Reply 1
Hi! I'm really panicking that I'm going to forget something that I desperately need for my first few days of living there. I'm going back to where I'm from so I know people there, but don't want to be a burden. Also, I have no friends/followers on here so nobody to ask or get advice from :frown:
Reply 2
Original post by HCxxlly
Hi! I'm really panicking that I'm going to forget something that I desperately need for my first few days of living there. I'm going back to where I'm from so I know people there, but don't want to be a burden. Also, I have no friends/followers on here so nobody to ask or get advice from :frown:


Don't worry about it! If it's something relatively simple/cheap, they've invented these wonderful things called shops that exist in most university towns :tongue: Honestly, I'd recommend buying less before you get there and buying what you need later on. Some other things you may be able to borrow from someone else or get it sent to you.
Hello, I am starting Queen Mary University of London this Sep 2015 on a pretty new course BSc Global Health.I am quite nervous about everything.My studies,making new friends,settling in well,enjoying my course and my university life in a busy city whilst I come from a relatively very small city in UK.I feel like I am going to struggle especially in making new friends in the first few weeks and worry if I dont sound friendly and approachable in the freshers week it might be difficult to make friends and i might end up being lonely and with not many friends in my university.

I do not want this to happen as moving to a new place is always daunting and nerve racking for me.this is what happened with me when i first moved from my home country with family for settlement to UK and enrolled in college here at that time.I couldnt make much friends at A levels College.It was a really hard time.i do not want any such repetition.

ANY tip/advice would be helpful.

Thanks

MARIAM
Hey Mariam,

EDIT: I'm going to Liverpool :smile:

I'm also (possibly) headed to Queen Mary this september.

Try not to scare yourself too much! You aren't alone in feeling that you might struggle, in fact most will feel the same; the difference would be how you approach but clearly you recognise that hence why you're asking for advice on here.

I myself am from a small town and in terms of my social life - I'm as boring as one can get; even by TSR's standards. Try not to pressure yourself into thinking certain things have to happen at certain times in certain ways, I think that's probably what a lot of prospective uni students don't think enough of; your experience will be different to that of everyone else's, likewise mine and the next student that'll post here and every other student headed off to university in September.

Regarding your experience with college, I understand that at present this is the only sort of relatable experience you have to draw from but I think others would agree that it's not the most relatable case (most of the time). If you want it to, University will involve a lot more independence and the education is now a lot more catered to what you make of it, education, extra-curriculars / society's and spare time can all be spent in various ways whereas most typical 16-19 year olds just do not have these opportunities.

You more likely than not will meet interesting people, and so will others. If you make a sensible effort to maintain friendships then you'll be ok, it might take longer than others and it might be much quicker than others, it might not work with someone the first time but it might work with someone else immediately; no one knows, and I think that's what's exciting about it yet at the same time somewhat dreadful.

If you approach and look at your situation with a sensible outlook you'll be fine! :smile:


Original post by Mariam.khalid
Hello, I am starting Queen Mary University of London this Sep 2015 on a pretty new course BSc Global Health.I am quite nervous about everything....MARIAM
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Ki Yung Na
Hey Mariam,

I'm also (possibly) headed to Queen Mary this september.

Try not to scare yourself too much! You aren't alone in feeling that you might struggle, in fact most will feel the same; the difference would be how you approach but clearly you recognise that hence why you're asking for advice on here.

I myself am from a small town and in terms of my social life - I'm as boring as one can get; even by TSR's standards. Try not to pressure yourself into thinking certain things have to happen at certain times in certain ways, I think that's probably what a lot of prospective uni students don't think enough of; your experience will be different to that of everyone else's, likewise mine and the next student that'll post here and every other student headed off to university in September.

Regarding your experience with college, I understand that at present this is the only sort of relatable experience you have to draw from but I think others would agree that it's not the most relatable case (most of the time). If you want it to, University will involve a lot more independence and the education is now a lot more catered to what you make of it, education, extra-curriculars / society's and spare time can all be spent in various ways whereas most typical 16-19 year olds just do not have these opportunities.

You more likely than not will meet interesting people, and so will others. If you make a sensible effort to maintain friendships then you'll be ok, it might take longer than others and it might be much quicker than others, it might not work with someone the first time but it might work with someone else immediately; no one knows, and I think that's what's exciting about it yet at the same time somewhat dreadful.

If you approach and look at your situation with a sensible outlook you'll be fine! :smile:



Hello,
Thanks for your reply.I think you are absolutely right.I need to be positive about things that come my way in future in a busy and bumming city like London with so much cultural diversity i am bound to make friends at different places.

Your common experience with me has helped me look through it positively.

Good luck to you.i hope you make the best decision :smile:
Fingers crossed for both of us.Our paths may cross in future.:smile:
Original post by HCxxlly
Hi! I'm really panicking that I'm going to forget something that I desperately need for my first few days of living there. I'm going back to where I'm from so I know people there, but don't want to be a burden. Also, I have no friends/followers on here so nobody to ask or get advice from :frown:


Don't panic yourself, I just posted in another forum similar to this one about worrying. The months before starting university, you'll spend so much time worrying and over thinking things that it'll bring you down and stress you out, but everything will be okay! You won't forget anything you need because usually, you'll check everything you've got, you'll double check and then by the 100th time of checking, you realise you've probably got everything but the kitchen sink so I promise you, you'll be fine! IF on the off chance you do, no worries! Either pop out and get it or ask these people you know, you weren't be a burden, they'll be happy to help and especially if you're living in halls, everyone is in the same boat so just ask someone you're living with! I'll be around on TSR for the foreseeable fututre as university starts so if you have anymore questions, queries or worries heado ver to my page and send me a message, more than happy to help!

This applies to everyone.
I'm about to start my second year at university studying Drama in The Community.
Original post by HCxxlly
Hi! I'm really panicking that I'm going to forget something that I desperately need for my first few days of living there. I'm going back to where I'm from so I know people there, but don't want to be a burden. Also, I have no friends/followers on here so nobody to ask or get advice from :frown:


Try not to worry about forgetting anything. So long as you bring your bank card and any documentation the uni asks for, you can honestly buy pretty much anything you might need in most university towns :smile:

If you need advice about anything specific, try making your own thread or asking one of the support team and I'm sure loads of people will be able to help :h:

Original post by Mariam.khalid
Hello, I am starting Queen Mary University of London this Sep 2015 on a pretty new course BSc Global Health.I am quite nervous about everything.My studies,making new friends,settling in well,enjoying my course and my university life in a busy city whilst I come from a relatively very small city in UK.I feel like I am going to struggle especially in making new friends in the first few weeks and worry if I dont sound friendly and approachable in the freshers week it might be difficult to make friends and i might end up being lonely and with not many friends in my university.

I do not want this to happen as moving to a new place is always daunting and nerve racking for me.this is what happened with me when i first moved from my home country with family for settlement to UK and enrolled in college here at that time.I couldnt make much friends at A levels College.It was a really hard time.i do not want any such repetition.

ANY tip/advice would be helpful.

Thanks

MARIAM


Firstly, I met knew people and made friends right up into my third year of uni, so don't worry that you have to make all your friends in the first few weeks.

I would really recommend joining a society. It's a super way to meet people with similar interests to you, and means you already have something in common to talk about with the people there. Most societies have both drinking and non-drinking social events, and you can chose to attend whatever suits you.

Everyone is shy and nervous, so try to remember that. Try to not shut yourself away too much, and make an effort to say yes if people ask you to do things. It is really daunting, but everyone wants to make friends, so try to go into things with the view "these people don't know anyone either, and feel just as nervous as me. They probably really want to make friends too."

Moving to a different place is always daunting, but the more you worry about it the harder things will be. Instead, maybe try to focus on the positives. Think of all the things London has to offer that your current city doesn't :h:
Still have my A2 exams to go, but I'm mostly worried about managing my IBS at university. I don't know whether there'll be as much support there as at my sixth form.
If worrying made a difference, I'd tell you all to carry on...

There's my profound statement for the day.
Original post by nase14_aldayz
If worrying made a difference, I'd tell you all to carry on...

There's my profound statement for the day.


It is natural for people to be worried about going to uni though- it's a big step and for most people means stepping totally outside their comfort zone. I agree, worrying won't necessarily help, though.

Original post by pineneedles
Still have my A2 exams to go, but I'm mostly worried about managing my IBS at university. I don't know whether there'll be as much support there as at my sixth form.


Most universities are extremely supportive towards people with long term health conditions, but unlike at sixth form, you may have to be more proactive in seeking out that help. If you're going to be applying for 2016 entry (I think I've read that post right?) then it would be a good idea to talk to unis before you apply, in order to find out which ones will give you the kind of support you want.

You might also be eligible for DSA, or some universities might offer you direct financial assistance- e.g. allowing you to have an en-suite room at a cheaper rate.

Have you thought about starting a thread in the disabled students sub-forum, where I'm sure you'll get lots of help and advice.
Original post by SlowlorisIncognito
It is natural for people to be worried about going to uni though- it's a big step and for most people means stepping totally outside their comfort zone. I agree, worrying won't necessarily help, though.
.


I've just posted an Alan Watts video in the chat thread to try and relieve some pressure from all the troubled souls.
Original post by SlowlorisIncognito
It is natural for people to be worried about going to uni though- it's a big step and for most people means stepping totally outside their comfort zone. I agree, worrying won't necessarily help, though.



Most universities are extremely supportive towards people with long term health conditions, but unlike at sixth form, you may have to be more proactive in seeking out that help. If you're going to be applying for 2016 entry (I think I've read that post right?) then it would be a good idea to talk to unis before you apply, in order to find out which ones will give you the kind of support you want.

You might also be eligible for DSA, or some universities might offer you direct financial assistance- e.g. allowing you to have an en-suite room at a cheaper rate.

Have you thought about starting a thread in the disabled students sub-forum, where I'm sure you'll get lots of help and advice.


It's good to know this!

The kind of support I would want is the same kind of understanding from my teachers I get at the moment with regards to missing lessons, having to leave to visit the bathroom frequently, exam arrangements etc. I know at university they expect you to be mature and independent about these things so I thought they might not help me.
I hope to stay at home when I go to university initially, though when it comes to it I'll probably get an en-suite room or find a bedsit. I'll definitely ask about possiblity of having a cheaper en-suite room as I don't consider it a luxury but a necessity if I were to stay in university accommodation.
I don't think of my condition as a disability, do you think it'd be alright to post in that thread?
Thanks for your reply, by the way.
Original post by pineneedles
It's good to know this!

The kind of support I would want is the same kind of understanding from my teachers I get at the moment with regards to missing lessons, having to leave to visit the bathroom frequently, exam arrangements etc. I know at university they expect you to be mature and independent about these things so I thought they might not help me.
I hope to stay at home when I go to university initially, though when it comes to it I'll probably get an en-suite room or find a bedsit. I'll definitely ask about possiblity of having a cheaper en-suite room as I don't consider it a luxury but a necessity if I were to stay in university accommodation.
I don't think of my condition as a disability, do you think it'd be alright to post in that thread?
Thanks for your reply, by the way.


Lots of people post in the thread about long term health conditions or conditions like dyslexia which might not be considered a disability in many situations, but would affect them at university and might lead to them needing extra help. Definitely post if you think it would help :h:

The good news is that unis aren't usually as strict about attendance as schools- many elements of your course, such as lectures, may not require physical attendance, and no-one will mind if you miss these. For elements where attendance is required e.g. seminars/labs, find out the absence procedures in advance and follow these. If you need help catching up, or because you've missed out due to ill health, then you can email your lecturers and make appointments to do this.

Obviously it's more admin on your side, but because there isn't so much stress placed on attendance, most lecturers will be understanding and happy to help you out. You won't be the first person they have taught with an issue like this.

For exams, again, make plans well in advance and find out who you need to contact as soon as you can. Unis have seen it all before, so most will be happy to put in place what you need, but again it will take a little pro activeness on your part.

It sounds like your sixth form is pretty good, but many people with long term conditions find their experience at uni is actually better than it is at sixth form.
My worry is that as a mature student it will be harder for me to fit in and that I won't be able to keep up academically seeing as I did an access course and not a-levels.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Although I am taking a gap year i am still really nervous about freshers week and making friends. I'm looking at going to University of Wales Trinity St David Lampeter campus either next year or the year after, which is 5 hours away from where i live. I've never had a proper social group or large group of friends and I've only been to 2 parties my whole teenage life at ages 14 and 16 (I know sad right!). My problem is that i don't drink because i just don't like it and I've never been to a club or anywhere :/ I also suffer from really bad migraines when lighting is off and i remember i had to sit out of the school disco because of my headaches - this i fear is going to stop me going to clubs and making friends. I'm a very quiet person and prefer small friend groups and quieter activities but i know freshers is all about partying and clubbing and making friends that way.
I guess what i'm trying to say is i'm scared of going to freshers week because i don't drink, cant really hack clubs because of migraines and scared of not making friends because of this :/ any help??? :')
Nervous about making friends and managing my money :frown:
Reply 17
I guess I have a lot of things to worry about. But currently its a lack of money.
1 is sf will still not give me a grant, I have sent about 6 different evidence and they keep wanting seomenthing else, getting worried it will not be done for september. I have the minimum loan but its not enough for halls never mind food, books anything else! Im in the lowest income or my family is and I am disabled so I should get the SSG and a higher loan than they have give me now, but they keep needing more evidence. How long will it take?

2nd is DPs to get me help in halls with living independent basically, but SS still not contacted me to then come and reassess me because I will need more to pay for the more help needed living alone not with mum.

Both are just waiting but september is getting closer and I have accepted a place in halls etc so I cant not go, or I still need to pay. I get so worried waiting but what else can I do?


Posted from TSR Mobile
Subscribing as I'm more worried about my postgrad degree as opposed to my undergrad :erm:
Original post by linnyloo87
My worry is that as a mature student it will be harder for me to fit in and that I won't be able to keep up academically seeing as I did an access course and not a-levels.


Posted from TSR Mobile


I wasn't a mature student, but I did start uni at 20, and some of my friends at uni were older. Most courses will have several mature students on them as well, so you won't be the only one. Age matters less at uni, as there is usually a fairly bit age range across the course.

I wouldn't worry about having done an access course instead of A-levels. It's very likely that people on your course will have come through all different routes- including A-levels, BTEC, IB and Access Courses as well as international qualifications. The uni wouldn't have given you an offer if they thought you couldn't keep up. However, if at any stage you're worried about falling behind, then do speak up. It's very likely you'll be assigned an academic tutor who can help with these kinds of issues- alternatively, you could approach someone like the course leader.

Most unis do offer study skills support, usually through the library, so this is another thing to investigate if you're worried about struggling.

Original post by MedievalWitch
Although I am taking a gap year i am still really nervous about freshers week and making friends. I'm looking at going to University of Wales Trinity St David Lampeter campus either next year or the year after, which is 5 hours away from where i live. I've never had a proper social group or large group of friends and I've only been to 2 parties my whole teenage life at ages 14 and 16 (I know sad right!). My problem is that i don't drink because i just don't like it and I've never been to a club or anywhere :/ I also suffer from really bad migraines when lighting is off and i remember i had to sit out of the school disco because of my headaches - this i fear is going to stop me going to clubs and making friends. I'm a very quiet person and prefer small friend groups and quieter activities but i know freshers is all about partying and clubbing and making friends that way.
I guess what i'm trying to say is i'm scared of going to freshers week because i don't drink, cant really hack clubs because of migraines and scared of not making friends because of this :/ any help??? :':wink:


You shouldn't assume you know all about freshers :tongue: Yes, people do go clubbing and drinking, but most people also go to daytime social activities, and you'll usually have a daytime event to meet your coursemates. Your flat mates will be around all the time- so maybe suggest doing something you'll enjoy together- like getting a takeaway or watching a film?

Also don't assume you'll meet and make your best friends on freshers! Most people don't have a solid friend group straight away, and make new friends throughout their uni experience.

Have you thought about joining a society or sports team where there would be a lot of non-drinking events?

Original post by angelfox
Nervous about making friends and managing my money :frown:


Lots of people are nervous about making friends. You can see that from this thread :tongue: That's a good thing though, because it means they will all want to make friends too! Try to chat to lots of different people, and I'm sure you'll meet some you connect with. Being nervous is only a problem if it makes you hide away in your room and not get out there and meet people!

Managing money can be really tricky, so it's good to think about it in advance. If you're worried you will struggle, then I would suggest two things:

1) Try to find a part time job. The more money you have, the easier it is to budget.

2) Get a student bank account with a free overdraft. You shouldn't rely on this, but if you get an overdraft, you won't get hit by fees if you mess up one term and end up overdrawn, or you're facing an emergency and you need some extra cash.

Original post by dipka
I guess I have a lot of things to worry about. But currently its a lack of money.
1 is sf will still not give me a grant, I have sent about 6 different evidence and they keep wanting seomenthing else, getting worried it will not be done for september. I have the minimum loan but its not enough for halls never mind food, books anything else! Im in the lowest income or my family is and I am disabled so I should get the SSG and a higher loan than they have give me now, but they keep needing more evidence. How long will it take?

2nd is DPs to get me help in halls with living independent basically, but SS still not contacted me to then come and reassess me because I will need more to pay for the more help needed living alone not with mum.

Both are just waiting but september is getting closer and I have accepted a place in halls etc so I cant not go, or I still need to pay. I get so worried waiting but what else can I do?


Posted from TSR Mobile


Have you spoken to anyone about DSA (Disabled Students Allowance) yet? If not, this is something you should investigate ASAP, as this will help with adaptations you need to access uni, and help with living independently.

I would also contact student support services or disability at the uni you're going to ASAP. They will be worried about this situation too, and they will want to help you make it work.

SFE are a nightmare, and all you can do is keep trying to contact them. The uni you're going to may be able to help with this too if they are being really unco-operative.

It sounds like you are trying to organise everything by yourself, but you don't need to do this. There is a lot of help out there for disabled students, and unis want to be accessible to everyone. Hopefully, once you make contact with the right person at your uni, everything will go much more smoothly.

Original post by Slowbro93
Subscribing as I'm more worried about my postgrad degree as opposed to my undergrad :erm:


I'm afraid I'm not going to be much help with this, as I chickened out of doing a postgrad degree, so you're already braver than me :tongue:

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