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My girlfriend's dad is RACIST

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    #1

    So I've been with my g/f for nearly 3 months now, and I met her dad when he came home early from work. She told me that she had told him about me but obviously not because he seemed surprise to see me. He started asking me all these awkward questions about how I can afford to live in this area (Hampstead) and what my parents do and how much they earn!

    My g/f was getting angry at him and I heard them arguing when I was coming back from the toilet, they stop as soon as I got back in the room but I heard him say, ' You have made me ashamed you of for being with an Indian.'

    I pretended I didn't hear that and he insisted on giving me a lift home, but in the car he told me, 'people like like shouldn't be with girls like his daughter.' He went on to say that we have to break up and that hes gonna talk to her when he gets back.

    My g/f rung me later that night crying saying what shall we do, she really respects her dad but not when hes being like this. I dunno what to do, is it worth being with her if her dad won't allow it?
    #2

    No offence mate, but being mixed race myself and having many many mixed race mates. My parents didn't work out . Most of their parents didn't work out. It never really works out.

    In fear of sounding racist myself here but there is a new breed of girls about that seemingly chase after only brown or black guys. I come from an area that has a 57% non white community(obviously I'm not rich, posh Asians have less exposure to what I see) and I see loads of these race chasers around. Make sure your girlfriend isn't one of these. Went out with this girl a couple of years ago and knew she had been with an Asian before me, didn't think too much of it. She's on to her 2nd Asian after me. My mum has only been out with brown guys, she shuns white men , even though she's white herself. She's OTT with trying to be in with Asians!

    Maybe your gf is unhappy that her dad isn't gonna like her dating asians, when that's all she's ever gonna date. I guess once you'll break up you'll know.

    Find a nice pretty Asian girl. There are loads out there.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No offence mate, but being mixed race myself and having many many mixed race mates. My parents didn't work out . Most of their parents didn't work out. It never really works out.

    In fear of sounding racist myself here but there is a new breed of girls about that seemingly chase after only brown or black guys. I come from an area that has a 57% non white community(obviously I'm not rich, posh Asians have less exposure to what I see) and I see loads of these race chasers around. Make sure your girlfriend isn't one of these. Went out with this girl a couple of years ago and knew she had been with an Asian before me, didn't think too much of it. She's on to her 2nd Asian after me. My mum has only been out with brown guys, she shuns white men , even though she's white herself. She's OTT with trying to be in with Asians!

    Maybe your gf is unhappy that her dad isn't gonna like her dating asians, when that's all she's ever gonna date. I guess once you'll break up you'll know.

    Find a nice pretty Asian girl. There are loads out there.
    What a ridiculous post. There's nothing to prove that the OP's girlfriend is like that; for all you know they may both be very much in love with each other for who they are, never mind their races. OP, stick with her; just imagine how upset she'd be if her dad pushed you away - could cause a permanent rift between her and her father.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've been with my g/f for nearly 3 months now, and I met her dad when he came home early from work. She told me that she had told him about me but obviously not because he seemed surprise to see me. He started asking me all these awkward questions about how I can afford to live in this area (Hampstead) and what my parents do and how much they earn!

    My g/f was getting angry at him and I heard them arguing when I was coming back from the toilet, they stop as soon as I got back in the room but I heard him say, ' You have made me ashamed you of for being with an Indian.'

    I pretended I didn't hear that and he insisted on giving me a lift home, but in the car he told me, 'people like like shouldn't be with girls like his daughter.' He went on to say that we have to break up and that hes gonna talk to her when he gets back.

    My g/f rung me later that night crying saying what shall we do, she really respects her dad but not when hes being like this. I dunno what to do, is it worth being with her if her dad won't allow it?
    you sure you're not trolling. this sounds exactly like another thread I heard a few days ago.

    edit: yeah here we go, are you sure you're not just stirring it a bit?

    (Original post by anonymous)
    I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 3 months and she's met my parents and they get on really well. I never met her parents and she always shrugged it off, but I eventually found out there 'a bit racist.' I have always had a bit of a chip on my shoulder about this kind of stuff because I live in an area of London which is predominately white (Im Indian.)

    So I convinced my girlfriend to let me meet them because I wanted to see for myself, they turned out to be ok, they just asked alot of questions like how I got to live in this area and how much my parents earn (I didn't answer.) So it wasn't too bad, but then her dad said he would give me a lift home...

    In the car he told me he wants us to split up and that hes gonna tell Lauren (my g/f) when he gets home. He said people like me shouldn't be with girls like her and that I should stick to my own kind and that it could ruin his reputation if she was to be with me. He then started making jokes about how I could afford to live in the area etc.. I wanted to kill him literally.

    My g/f rung me up a few hours later crying saying what should we do, I said I got no idea.. and here I am
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    (Original post by Ywiss)
    What a ridiculous post. There's nothing to prove that the OP's girlfriend is like that; for all you know they may both be very much in love with each other for who they are, never mind their races. OP, stick with her; just imagine how upset she'd be if her dad pushed you away - could cause a permanent rift between her and her father.
    agree

    OP I know being in a mixed race family (mom white dad black ect) i know these things can work, also being with asian males myself i had "it wont work he will find a wife back home(india pakistan ect), its hard when a father is against something but she has to learn her own mistakes luckily my parents didnt tell me not to date certain race's yes i have made my mistakes im gratefull for it

    all we and her dad knows is you both could be married in a few years time and put doubters like anon2 wrong i myself know mixed race relationships work not just because im mixed race my self
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    (Original post by Ywiss)
    What a ridiculous post. There's nothing to prove that the OP's girlfriend is like that; for all you know they may both be very much in love with each other for who they are, never mind their races. OP, stick with her; just imagine how upset she'd be if her dad pushed you away - could cause a permanent rift between her and her father.
    :ditto: Seconded!

    Some people are like bears in caves. They've no idea of what the world is really like - they think it's dark, cold and generally not a very nice place. Bears don't live in harmony with eagles, because eagles soar and so are aware of everything in front of them.

    Be an eagle, transcend silly limiting factors and revel in doing so.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No offence mate, but being mixed race myself and having many many mixed race mates. My parents didn't work out . Most of their parents didn't work out. It never really works out.

    In fear of sounding racist myself here but there is a new breed of girls about that seemingly chase after only brown or black guys. I come from an area that has a 57% non white community(obviously I'm not rich, posh Asians have less exposure to what I see) and I see loads of these race chasers around. Make sure your girlfriend isn't one of these. Went out with this girl a couple of years ago and knew she had been with an Asian before me, didn't think too much of it. She's on to her 2nd Asian after me. My mum has only been out with brown guys, she shuns white men , even though she's white herself. She's OTT with trying to be in with Asians!

    Maybe your gf is unhappy that her dad isn't gonna like her dating asians, when that's all she's ever gonna date. I guess once you'll break up you'll know.

    Find a nice pretty Asian girl. There are loads out there.

    what a stupid post... im in an interracial relationship and i know things can work.. OP stay with her... in life u get things like this and its hard that her father is against it but u both have to learn from mistakes and stuff and its really about the love between u too. interracial realtionships do work
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    (Original post by supernova2)
    you sure you're not trolling. this sounds exactly like another thread I heard a few days ago.
    That's exactly what I thought.
    #2

    lol, go live in Newham then and see for yourself. You'll come out less naive.
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    How old are you? If you're close to uni age, then your gf will be able to make her own decisions with lesser pressure from her dad. Either that or keep it a secret from him. You wouldn't want to be involved with someone like him anyway. Mixed race relationships definitely can work. People put them under a lot of scrutiny, but almost every, long-term relationship has big problems at some point. I know a forty-odd year old black/white couple and they live a very comfortable, happy life. They are as in love as it gets still and the people that know them don't even recognise the colour difference. It can work. Definitely.
    #2

    You can all go ahead and criticise. Time will prove me right. The OP will see that and remember. Am not gonna post anymore here.
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    Not trying to offend you, but surely you can understand where he's coming from? Everyone wants the best for their children, or at least what they THINK is best for their children. If I had an Indian boyfriend I wouldn't expect his family to be happy with me. Many indian families have very strong on traditions and their culture, that makes both white and asian parents defensive.

    How you deal with the it is another matter. You didn't mention "love" so I assume you are not that into each other yet. Anon2 could be right, if she didn't make any effort to tell her dad about you she could just be doing it to get back on him Hopefully not, but it's definitely something to think about. And what about you? Do you think there is a chance she's "the one"? I think deep inside you know if this relationship is worth the trouble, so look for the answer inside yourself, as cliche as it sounds. Good luck!
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    (Original post by tanusha-tomsk)

    Anon2 could be right, if she didn't make any effort to tell her dad about you she could just be doing it to get back on him
    ive never told my dad about any of my bf's doesnt mean i was trying to get back at him my dad don't need to know what happens in my life

    and yes i live with him and he has now met my current bf after 3months of dating which also was a accident
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    Thankfully I'm in a '2nd generation' mixed relatonship. So my parents got all the flack for being different races so now it's OK for me to have a boyfriend who's white
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    (Original post by bubu)
    ive never told my dad about any of my bf's doesnt mean i was trying to get back at him my dad don't need to know what happens in my life

    and yes i live with him and he has now met my current bf after 3months of dating which also was a accident
    But she knew he was going to have a problem with her boyfrind being indian, she could have gradually prepared him :confused: I guess you are right though, it's not enough to claim that she's playing him.
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    If your girlfriend didn't tell her father about you or seemed to miss a few details out for him to be surprised, your race for example, maybe she expected a slight reaction from him? Though that might make her sound terrible, which i'm not trying to do, it's a possibility. Your girlfriend should have explained to her father she was in a relationship with you, told him a bit about you and for lack of a better word "prepare" him for meeting her brand new boyfriend.

    I'm not sure how old you two are, she should be able to make her own decisions. Her dad isn't the one dating you but in my opinion, and this opinion has got me into trouble many of times, it's actually none of his business. He has every right to want whats best for his daughter but who says that you aren't whats best for her? Him? Well, he doesn't know you. Every parent deserves respect but for them to be respected, they must learn to respect you in return. He doesn't do this.

    If you two really like each other then I don't see why you shouldn't be together. You just need to support each other through it because it will be difficult. Just talk to her, see what she thinks and what she wants and you two will figure it out. She needs to sit her father down and talk to him, it will be a nightmare to do but sometimes these things need to be done.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ' You have made me ashamed you of for being with an Indian.'
    I smell crap. People don't talk like that. Unless perhaps, you live in a low-budget ITV drama?
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    I smell crap. People don't talk like that. Unless perhaps, you live in a low-budget ITV drama?

    Oh come off it, even if you live in the middle of nowhere or have a really sheltered life you must have seen some of this years CBB?

    I don't agree with some of the stuff on this thread but you gotta admit racism is still alive and well and prob always will be. It's human nature.
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    How about standing up to the guy? Show him how good 'people like you' really are. Perhaps its about time someone challenged his opinions. Ok that's a hard option, but it is an option. One of my friends was racist until he met some people of a different race and then he changed his mind.
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    we've done this thread. it was less than a week ago - maybe try following the advice of some of the posters there (there were a lot of them if i remember) rather than keep repeating yourself.

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