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Do people have the right to know if their partner is transgender?

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No. There is no right to know someone else's past regardless of how it might make you feel if you knew. There is a huge difference between having the requirement to disclosure your past and it being a smart choice for the relationship.

However I would say that if you have such a big issue that you can't handle being with someone because that person used to be different then you should be the one asking in advance about/disclosing your discomfort with that specific quality.
Well if I was ever in a relationship with a transgender-someone and I didn't know, as soon as I find out I'm gone, don't like liars.
Original post by RandZul'Zorander
No. There is no right to know someone else's past regardless of how it might make you feel if you knew. There is a huge difference between having the requirement to disclosure your past and it being a smart choice for the relationship.

However I would say that if you have such a big issue that you can't handle being with someone because that person used to be different then you should be the one asking in advance about/disclosing your discomfort with that specific quality.


That makes no sense.

It's like telling someone you're in a relationship with that you've never been arrested when in fact you've been in jail for 20 years for domestic violence, so they think you're normal but you're not.
Original post by ComputerMaths97
That makes no sense.

It's like telling someone you're in a relationship with that you've never been arrested when in fact you've been in jail for 20 years for domestic violence, so they think you're normal but you're not.


Its not at all like that. It is like saying that you are not in jail (which you are not) even though you had been to prison for a period of time. There is no obligation to disclose whether or not you've been to prison either.
Yes.

And if you don't say it from the get go, I think it's quite selfish, even leading the other person on in a sense.
Original post by ComputerMaths97
X

Lets approach this from a different perspective. Why do you think you have a right to know? Where does this right stem from?
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by RandZul'Zorander
You do understand that the example you are trying to give make no sense right? They are not comparable.

Lets approach this from a different perspective. Why do you think you have a right to know? Where does this right stem from?


The fact you could be potentially spending your life with them... They should know what they're getting involved with right from the start.

It's not some small thing, it's pretty damn big and life changing.
Original post by L'Evil Fish
The fact you could be potentially spending your life with them... They should know what they're getting involved with right from the start.

It's not some small thing, it's pretty damn big and life changing.


That potential is hardly existent at the beginning of a relationship. Do you also believe that at the start of every relationship that everybody should have to disclose every detail of your past because it might be a 'big deal' for that potential partner?
Original post by L'Evil Fish
The fact you could be potentially spending your life with them... They should know what they're getting involved with right from the start.

It's not some small thing, it's pretty damn big and life changing.


Again, saying that somebody should do something because that is considerate is not the same as saying that somebody else has the right to that information.
Original post by RandZul'Zorander
You do understand that the example you are trying to give make no sense right? They are not comparable.

Lets approach this from a different perspective. Why do you think you have a right to know? Where does this right stem from?


"Makes no sense"... That's definitely a problem in your own understanding, not my example.

You mean "let's approach this from a perspective that supports my point" but sure let's play along.

This is where I find out humans don't have the right to have rights.

I'm not talking about legal permissions, opportunities, privileges whatever you want to call it. We're talking morally. Lying is never okay, and I don't understand why you think it is, but for me to not know my partners gender, some sly twisted lies must be made. It's like being given a fake £5 note as change, do I not have the right to know whether it's real, normal etc or fake? And if given a fake one without being told so, they'd be punished if found out right? Rightly so, too. Fake + lies isn't exactly morally correct is it.

It "stems" from my own requirements, my own selfish needs, like all human rights, why do you ask?
Original post by RandZul'Zorander
That potential is hardly existent at the beginning of a relationship. Do you also believe that at the start of every relationship that everybody should have to disclose every detail of your past because it might be a 'big deal' for that potential partner?


Try telling me that what your partner had for dinner three years ago is as important as their gender?

You can try a new flawed argument now, I want to see it.
Original post by ComputerMaths97
"Makes no sense"... That's definitely a problem in your own understanding, not my example.
No, as I said the two are incomparable. In one we are talking about a right over another human being and their subjective experience of the world. The other you are trying to talk about a 'right to eat'. :rolleyes:

You mean "let's approach this from a perspective that supports my point" but sure let's play along.

This is where I find out humans don't have the right to have rights.
:bored:

I'm not talking about legal permissions, opportunities, privileges whatever you want to call it. We're talking morally. Lying is never okay, and I don't understand why you think it is, but for me to not know my partners gender, some sly twisted lies must be made. It's like being given a fake £5 note as change, do I not have the right to know whether it's real, normal etc or fake? And if given a fake one without being told so, they'd be punished if found out right? Rightly so, too. Fake + lies isn't exactly morally correct is it.

It "stems" from my own requirements, my own selfish needs, like all human rights, why do you ask?


You seem to struggle to come up with analogies. Again, they are not lying to you. They are not saying that they have never been another gender, nor are they not the gender they have told you. You are talking about a gender history. If we take your money example its like I give you a £5 note as change but I haven't told you that it was made out recycled old notes instead of brand new paper. It is still now a £5 note. There has been no lying. You may have something against recycled £5 notes but you don't have the right to force me to tell you the source of this one specific note.
Original post by RandZul'Zorander
That potential is hardly existent at the beginning of a relationship. Do you also believe that at the start of every relationship that everybody should have to disclose every detail of your past because it might be a 'big deal' for that potential partner?


Potential, something that could be... Ergo, any relationship has the potential.

It IS a big deal. You should make it known fairly early on...

Original post by RandZul'Zorander
Again, saying that somebody should do something because that is considerate is not the same as saying that somebody else has the right to that information.


Well they should have the legal right to know.
Original post by L'Evil Fish
Potential, something that could be... Ergo, any relationship has the potential.

It IS a big deal. You should make it known fairly early on...



Well they should have the legal right to know.


1. I know what potential means but potential has varying degrees especially when it comes to relationships. So my statement was still correct.

2. If it should be made a legal right, by when exactly? At what point should it be disclosed legally? And how are we going to judge that? You want to make it criminal to not disclose past events in your life? Or is it just for trans people and their past gender? What is your justification for getting the government so intimately involved in personal relationships?
Certainly needs to be discussed if the relationship appears to be one that is becoming serious, by main view on this is based on the potential the person who isn't aware of their partners past might y'know, want children, the fact they aren't going to be able to naturally because their partner was in fact their own gender in the past is a pretty big deal.
Original post by localblackguy
I'd be quite mad if I didn't know, I have no problem with trans people as friends but I wouldn't be comfortable having sex with one, and, seeing as sex is important in a relationship and in the future I want to have my own kids rather than adopt, I wouldn't marry one either. Label me a transphobe all you like, but I really wouldn't be able to have anything more than a platonic relationship with a trans person.

Tbh, the risk of physical/verbal abuse aside, I'd argue that it's selfish for the trans person to not disclose it. I don't buy the "maybe they're fine with it" excuse as trans people know better than anyone that people may not be comfortable with it if they told them, and not telling them is a case of "I wanna ****/date this person regardless about how they'd feel about me transitioning" in my eyes. If anything, they're shortchanging themselves - if the person isn't comfortable with how they are, a relationship with that person should be out of the question. One of the main things LGBTs have fought for is the right to pick whatever partner they desire, rather than just the opposite gender - well, that works both ways.


Would just like to add this on:

People have been saying that trans people don't disclose their sex change due to being afraid of violence - but what is stopping someone being even more violent when they find out about the person being trans later on? Who says they're gonna be less violent after being deceived?
(edited 8 years ago)
Of course they ****ing do.

So many commies on this thread who appear to be living on another bloody planet.
Original post by L'Evil Fish
Potential, something that could be... Ergo, any relationship has the potential.

It IS a big deal. You should make it known fairly early on...



Well they should have the legal right to know.


you think there should be a law forcing trans people to have to tell everyone that they could possibly date that they're trans? wow that's not at all de-humanising and treating us like we've done something wrong


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Original post by Odd socks
you think there should be a law forcing trans people to have to tell everyone that they could possibly date that they're trans? wow that's not at all de-humanising and treating us like we've done something wrong

Posted from TSR Mobile


Not everyone they could possible date, just the ones they've had a date or two with and are thinking about a future.

Obviously, there's no way to make this a law, and it shouldn't be, I was just being flippant, but they definitely should tell the people they're with that it's so.
Original post by Odd socks
you think there should be a law forcing trans people to have to tell everyone that they could possibly date that they're trans? wow that's not at all de-humanising and treating us like we've done something wrong


Posted from TSR Mobile


Whether you've done something wrong is another debate.

But most people wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who isn't what they think they are. They should just be up front about it.

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