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did i make the right choice?

Hi all, just wanted your opinion on my last relationship;

starting from the beginning, I was 3 years older she was 16, I was 19. We fell in love quickly and couldnt get enough of eachother, after around 6 months into the relationship (I was at uni at the time) she told me she had depression, anziety and was self harming. Wanting to help, I was there for her, quite a lot of nights I would be up till 3am on the phone to her when she had breakdowns and wanted to kill herself. after a few months she managed to get the strength to stop self harming, i felt like i managed to help but it took a toll on me.

I would come home for all the holidays uni has and see her every other day i was home, then i noticed a few things, she would get extremely jealous of every single girl that she came across who i knew, she would also bring up my past relationships and use them against me. I had never cheated on her or given her reason to belive i wanted someone else casue all i wanted was her. She still wouldnt trust me though.

fast forward to 1 year in, I got a job for 14months at home meaning i was living near her, I would see her every other day, she would text me constantly wanting to know where i was who i was with, I ended up loosing a lot of friends as any time i spent apart from her she would constantly call and message me and have a go at me for not giving her attention.
With me being the only one with a source of income, I would take her on dates 2 or 3 times a week, like the cinema, dinner and london, I would also have to drive everywhere to pick her up as she didnt drive and her parents would never give her a lift. When i then mentioned i was struggling to afford the fuel and the dates she flipped! and went aboslutely crazy about how i was complaining about seeing her and how bad it waqs making her feel, this made me feel terrible about myself. She would also keep bringing up my ex's in conversation and using it against me, we would end up fighting with her screaming and yelling and swearing at me in the car over my past relationships, when they had nothing to do with the one i was in, id never spoken to any of my exes after I started to see her. I just thought that it must be to do with her anxiety issues still, so i went through all the fights because i really did care for her. however they got bad and she wopuld often try to cancel dates we had planned when she was un happy and want to refuse to see me. I would still alwasy end up seeing her in the end after trying to sort all the problems out.

The reason i was staying was that even after all the fights I had with her we still had an amazing time together and it felt like real love in the nice moments, however the fights were getting more often over her being jealous and complaining about me, even though i was doing so much for her.

after my 14mponths of work i went back to uni, this is when she found out her parents were splitting up. This made her trust in me go from zero to even less. her ejalousy got worse and i was on the phone listening to her swear at me saying how i didnt understand her problems, all i was trying to do was to be there for her as a boyfriedn should be.
after all her rage got out she would then blame it on her hormones saying she didnt mean any of it and how sorry she was and how much she loved me, but after 2 years of facing all this it was begining to take a toll on me, i found myself getting depressed when we had fights and feeling suicidal in some cases. baring in mind that when i went into the realtionhsip i was probably one of the happiest people you'd ever meet.

come christmas we had an amazing time together, i was back home, wed bought eachother some really nice gifts and had an amazing time, however her jelaously was still there. Initially i put up with her jealousy as she was young and a bit immature but now she was 18 and her jealousy had gotten much worse.
she wopuld get upset at me if she saw me online on facebook, asking who i was talking to, what i was doing on there, she would go through my phone behind my back to see if i was messaging other girls ( I wasnt obviously). and come my birthday she freaked out when i hqad girls wishing me a happy birthday on my facebook wall. i spent my entire birthday at uni arguing with her on the phone.

after sorting all these problems out with her, i was patient reassuring her she was the only girl for me, bought her a promise ring which to be honest seemed to make things worse. as come valentines she tried breaking up with me casue i went out to a bar with my friends. she then proceeded by saying she never meant it and apologised and we spent valentines day together.

she then did this two more times when i went out at uni, just with guys as well. However i want willing to take it anymore as she was going out with her friends back home, adding guys on facebook who she never mentioned of that she met on nights out. I never did any of this to her, but i trusted her ans i wanted her to go out and have fun. but it seemeded like it was okay for her to do it, but not me.

then 2 months on ( 2 and a half years in the relatiuonship ) i was home for easter, I had to write my dissertation , but i still; made time to see her every other day by working myself late into the nights i wasnt with her. She then tried to break up with me as i wasnt giving her enough attetnion.

I was at my limit, i said to her if she tries it one more time then i would end it. she promised she would never do it again. everytime she did it it really took a toll on me as i loved her to bits. however two days later she tried it again and told me to F****K off back to uni. I had to keep my promise so i did excatly that, i left without saying goodbye.

this tore me up inside as its the last thing i wanted to do, she rang me 100 times in one day telling me she didnt mean it and wanted things to work. I said i just needed space and i wanted to sort things out for the summer. she wanted tehn same.

Then two weeks after she deleted every single trace of me on her social media, bloacked me and refused to ever see me again saying she was so much happier without me in her life now. This broke me inside and i was so confused by it all. I'd done so much for her in her life and i dont understand how someone could just do that to someone they care about.

2 months after the breakup i still feel confused about it all and really hurt. to be honest its put me off wanting to date someone ever again, i feel like it was defintaly the right thing to do to leave as it seemed like i was involved in a mentally abusive relationship.my parents also say after i told them everything that had happened (which i had kept secret from them) that ive definitaly dodged a bullet.

what are your guys thoughts? the relationship was litterally a roller coaster.
Stay far far away from her mate.
Reply 2
Avatar for Zer0.
Zer0.
14
OP just move on. I'm sure we've all been in a similar, albeit less extreme, situation with a significant other. She seems like a bit of a psycho from what I can see though.

I know that at this exact moment in time she may feel like the only for you etc but all that **** will come to pass eventually - Whether that be in a week, month or a year.

There's plenty of fish in the sea!

You'll look back on this in the future and realise you made the right choice.
I know relationships go through rough patches at times, but bloody hell, this just seems like a toxic relationship.

Be with someone who makes you happy, not someone who drives you into depression.


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Reply 4
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Thanks for the response guys, just been a hard few months! and has put me off being in a relationship to be honest at least for a while!
You made the right the choice for you. This girl is going to look back at your relationship and realise there are not many guys that would put up with her bull****

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