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Are cringey facebook statuses a sign of a healthy relationship?

Poll

Do you over share on Facebook about your relationship?

http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2015-07/27/facebook-relationship-study

Sickening couples' Facebook posts are a sign of true relationship commitment, according to a study published online recently.


I have seen my cousin post quite a lot of vomit-bag-reaching cringey Facebook posts with their partner over the last couple of years, there's a line where you over share on Facebook and they are way past that that the line is not even visible anymore. But they do seem happy together so there's that, I just wish I hadn't had to see it all (and they are now unfollowed).

And then there's the friend who posted really soppy and romantic things to his partner when they first going out (often talking about how they are soul mates, and the ones to wed) in massive paragraphs daily, they broke up after a couple of months which I found hilarious. Perhaps sometimes it's them trying to prove to themselves that their relationship is fine when there's already cracks forming.

I personally just keep public things to a minimum (Check Ins and Anniversary notes yes, soppy love letters and apologies hell no) and my relationship is going very well, so there's no need to over share in my opinion, I think privacy is a blessing for a good relationship.

What's the line between cute and cringe? Are they signs of a healthy relationship?
(edited 8 years ago)

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Reply 1
I think too much is vomit-inducing and try-hard. If everything was really perfect, why would you need to plaster every detail on facebook for others' approval? Same goes for excessive baby chat.

I almost never post lovey-dovey stuff, it's not my style. I will post if we go somewhere nice together or he treats me to something (and vice versa!) but I don't think that's too excessive. :eek:
Reply 2
It isn't inherently a sign, no. It just makes things so much more awkward if things were to go awry
Reply 3
I know people in awful abusive relationships posting cringey love dovey crap on fb so I'm gonna say NO.
A short list of things that annoy me on Facebook:
(And yes, this will be a short list. I know I have a tendency to go off on one when making list about things that annoy me, but sadly this won't be one of those occasions).

- Vomit-inducing relationship chat.
- A bazillion pictures of your fugly-ass chud of a kid.
- Cryptic statuses.

None of these annoy me more than another, they all make my blood boil with equal insistence. Now, concerning the first:
- Don't air your dirty laundry in public, it really isn't necessary.
Signed, everyone.

The thing that annoys me the most about this is that the couple presumably care that everyone wants to know about every intimate detail of their personal lives, but the reality is most of us honestly don't give a **** who called who what.
I can sort of understand the reasoning behind making an apology public in that it gives it more weight in an empathetic sense; you realise that you royally ****ed up, so therefore by making a private situation public you're showing not only your loved one but also your friends that you're only human and do tend to make mistakes. This may gain some brownie points with said loved one.
Unfortunately, it's also completely unnecessary. Was anyone else involved in your **** up? No? Then nobody else needs to be involved when you try to make amends.

- "i luv u 5eva ur my everytin".
What the **** is this ****? Why do you need to make that public? Not only does everyone actually care less aboout this than the previous situation, but by posting it online it also makes the sentiment impersonal because you're not honestly imparting your feelings to your loved one while staring romantically into their eyes. No, instead you're telling all and sundry that you love your partner.
All in all it's a largely redundant effort because it doesn't take a genius to figure out that if the relationship wasn't working out, your relationship status would now be "Single" instead of "In a relationship". If your status is still "In a relationship", rest assured everyone will probably figure it out for themselves that you're happy in your venture of the heart. Sugar coating not necessary.

Confession: Now, I'll be the first to hold my hand up and admit that I have actually partaken in the latter before. It wasn't that devoid of grammar knowledge/implied intellect, it was basically "So today (there or thereabouts) marks the occasion of me and x having been together for a year and a half. Here's to us" *posts video of Halestorm's 'Here's To Us', (a song I know she likes).
As previously mentioned, me and my girlfriend had just passed the year and a half mark, something that has never happened to me before. So it was a personal thing.
I'm one of those people who annoyingly posts music at least once every two days on Facebook. So I figured that anybody who hasn't blocked me for being a music cretin might appreciate the song.
Anyone who happens to stumble upon my posts concerning my relationship on here before may well know that I'm actually in an LDR (175 mile difference, to be precise. Not exactly down the road, but not exactly oceans away either). And if anyone else has been in an LDR before, you will have probably had your detractors who are so insecure in their own ability to make such a relationship work that they project that on to you. This also functioned as a "**** you" to my detractors.
This is pretty much the only time, in memory at least, that I've made any really personal information about my life public on Facebook. I don't know why I use it actually, I very rarely post any information whatsoever regarding the comings and goings of my life. I'm a private kinda guy, and my Facebook usage reflects that. So it also served as a connection between me and the other people in my life. A kind of rare "hey guys, this is happening at the moment", if you will.

So those are my reasons. In my mind, it makes my posting of that status valid. I was also mocking soppy relationship-based posts on Facebook by including "[romance]x[/romance]" at the start and the end of the post respectively. Because I'm fun like that :h:


So, is posting soppy **** online a sign of true commitment? Nah, just a way to piss people off. If you were going to actually write a love lettter and post it to them (with an envelope and everything!) then they'd appreciate the effort that has gone into that a lot more than just tapping away at the keyboard for a short while. As such, it's a far better example of "true commitment" than posting anything on Facebook is.
Reply 5
Original post by Drunk Punx
A short list of things that annoy me on Facebook:
(And yes, this will be a short list. I know I have a tendency to go off on one when making list about things that annoy me, but sadly this won't be one of those occasions).


lol
Reply 6
Original post by Drunk Punx
A short list of things that annoy me on Facebook:
(And yes, this will be a short list. I know I have a tendency to go off on one when making list about things that annoy me, but sadly this won't be one of those occasions).

- Vomit-inducing relationship chat.
- A bazillion pictures of your fugly-ass chud of a kid.
- Cryptic statuses.


I was hoping you would've elaborated on your second and third things, I find those even more annoying than the first!

Cryptic statuses really get me - or ones where they reference something that only THEY know about, and then get annoyed if anyone asks what is means, WHATS THE POINT?!?
Reply 7
In my life, I take the piss out of my boyfriend on a regular basis, so if he's mentioned on Facebook it's usually a joke at his expense or quoting something stupid he has said. And vice versa.
Reply 8
Original post by Drunk Punx
A short list of things that annoy me on Facebook:
(And yes, this will be a short list. I know I have a tendency to go off on one when making list about things that annoy me, but sadly this won't be one of those occasions).

- Vomit-inducing relationship chat.
- A bazillion pictures of your fugly-ass chud of a kid.
- Cryptic statuses.

None of these annoy me more than another, they all make my blood boil with equal insistence. Now, concerning the first:
- Don't air your dirty laundry in public, it really isn't necessary.
Signed, everyone.

The thing that annoys me the most about this is that the couple presumably care that everyone wants to know about every intimate detail of their personal lives, but the reality is most of us honestly don't give a **** who called who what.
I can sort of understand the reasoning behind making an apology public in that it gives it more weight in an empathetic sense; you realise that you royally ****ed up, so therefore by making a private situation public you're showing not only your loved one but also your friends that you're only human and do tend to make mistakes. This may gain some brownie points with said loved one.
Unfortunately, it's also completely unnecessary. Was anyone else involved in your **** up? No? Then nobody else needs to be involved when you try to make amends.

- "i luv u 5eva ur my everytin".
What the **** is this ****? Why do you need to make that public? Not only does everyone actually care less aboout this than the previous situation, but by posting it online it also makes the sentiment impersonal because you're not honestly imparting your feelings to your loved one while staring romantically into their eyes. No, instead you're telling all and sundry that you love your partner.
All in all it's a largely redundant effort because it doesn't take a genius to figure out that if the relationship wasn't working out, your relationship status would now be "Single" instead of "In a relationship". If your status is still "In a relationship", rest assured everyone will probably figure it out for themselves that you're happy in your venture of the heart. Sugar coating not necessary.

Confession: Now, I'll be the first to hold my hand up and admit that I have actually partaken in the latter before. It wasn't that devoid of grammar knowledge/implied intellect, it was basically "So today (there or thereabouts) marks the occasion of me and x having been together for a year and a half. Here's to us" *posts video of Halestorm's 'Here's To Us', (a song I know she likes).
As previously mentioned, me and my girlfriend had just passed the year and a half mark, something that has never happened to me before. So it was a personal thing.
I'm one of those people who annoyingly posts music at least once every two days on Facebook. So I figured that anybody who hasn't blocked me for being a music cretin might appreciate the song.
Anyone who happens to stumble upon my posts concerning my relationship on here before may well know that I'm actually in an LDR (175 mile difference, to be precise. Not exactly down the road, but not exactly oceans away either). And if anyone else has been in an LDR before, you will have probably had your detractors who are so insecure in their own ability to make such a relationship work that they project that on to you. This also functioned as a "**** you" to my detractors.
This is pretty much the only time, in memory at least, that I've made any really personal information about my life public on Facebook. I don't know why I use it actually, I very rarely post any information whatsoever regarding the comings and goings of my life. I'm a private kinda guy, and my Facebook usage reflects that. So it also served as a connection between me and the other people in my life. A kind of rare "hey guys, this is happening at the moment", if you will.

So those are my reasons. In my mind, it makes my posting of that status valid. I was also mocking soppy relationship-based posts on Facebook by including "[romance]x[/romance]" at the start and the end of the post respectively. Because I'm fun like that :h:


So, is posting soppy **** online a sign of true commitment? Nah, just a way to piss people off. If you were going to actually write a love lettter and post it to them (with an envelope and everything!) then they'd appreciate the effort that has gone into that a lot more than just tapping away at the keyboard for a short while. As such, it's a far better example of "true commitment" than posting anything on Facebook is.


I would've deleted you, can't stand constant ****-music posts that are supposed to be 'deep and meaningful'. Yuck
Original post by GuppyFox
I was hoping you would've elaborated on your second and third things, I find those even more annoying than the first!

Cryptic statuses really get me - or ones where they reference something that only THEY know about, and then get annoyed if anyone asks what is means, WHATS THE POINT?!?


I was going to, but thought otherwise because I'd be here all day if I had :teehee:

"Omg I can't believe s/he's gone and done that to me... all I'm gonna say is that I'm soooo grateful for the (at this point, presumed) support of my friends."
Friends: "want to talk about it?"
"No."

Wut. It's like they haven't realised that people generally seem to be pack animals and therefore go to each others aid when one is in strife. They've basically sent up a flare which registers as a call for help in the subconscious of everyone, and when the rescue has arrived they've said "nah it's cool, I got this."

I can't even begin to understand the mentality behind doing something like that.


Regarding the baby pics, get this: a friend of mine (more an acquaintance really) was pregnant, so we all got a million pictures of her bump, the scan thing they get done, clothes she was wearing during the pregnancy, etc etc. She could've been running a pregnancy blog full-time with the amount of information she was imparting.
Then she had the kid. Cue an unending flow of pictures of her kid that continue to this day even though it's been 3 years since the sprog was born (oddly, despite the tide of photos I wouldn't know the kid from Adam. I'd only recognise her if she was with her parents. She's got one of those stupid new age names like Chanel no.693 or some ****, I can't remember. It's got too many unnecessary apostrophes in, I know that much).
However, she's now backtracked. Along with still posting pictures of her kid every damn day, she's also posting pictures of her bump again. THE SAME BUMP FROM THE LAST PREGNANCY. It drives me bananas.
I think it probably is a good sign on average, though far more of it is down to people's individual temperaments.
Original post by AvaAdore
I would've deleted you, can't stand constant ****-music posts that are supposed to be 'deep and meaningful'. Yuck


That's the only music post I've ever made that could be considered "deep and meaningful", and even then it'd be a push to call to call it "deep" :lol:

I guess I should be glad that most of the close friends I have on Facebook are also well into their music, we run in circles :h:
Besides, most of the music I like seems to be obscure (Halestorm notwithstanding). Soz for introducing people to good music that they could've been unaware of otherwise. Put it this way: I've gotten more comments of thanks than I have comments of derision/a complaining nature.
I get the impression that people use this kind of vomit-inducing status to try to show everyone else how happy they are. Indeed, most posts on Facebook are more about how people want to appear to other people. It's got almost nothing to do with the strength of the relationship and everything to do with a desperation to be noticed.

I consider my private life to be, well, private. I'll post pictures of a partner and I on holiday, I'll mention them if it's situationally appropriate, I'd even consider 'tagging' them somewhere fun. But the idea of vomiting out some Disneyfied concoction of what I think would show other people how in love we are really doesn't appeal to me.
Reply 13
The truly happy people don't feel the need to keep updating their statuses.
Reply 14
Original post by Drunk Punx
"Omg I can't believe s/he's gone and done that to me... all I'm gonna say is that I'm soooo grateful for the (at this point, presumed) support of my friends."
Friends: "want to talk about it?"
"No."

Wut. It's like they haven't realised that people generally seem to be pack animals and therefore go to each others aid when one is in strife. They've basically sent up a flare which registers as a call for help in the subconscious of everyone, and when the rescue has arrived they've said "nah it's cool, I got this."

I can't even begin to understand the mentality behind doing something like that.


Or worse when they go 'inbox me' (that drives me insane as well, it's PM not INBOX!!), because they like to cause a public fuss but won't actually say why they are fussing to anyone.
On the subject of facey posts, I f*****g despise statuses like the following:


'How dare ya tlk bout me behind me bk, you'll get whats cumin tya, ha, karma is all I can say!'

'what's up Hun?'

'Oh nuffink, I'll tell u l8r'

What is this? If it isn't a call for attention what the f is it?

Edit: got there before me ^
I know a lot of aquintances that post cringey facebook status' about their other half, and honestly i just want to cringe...

if you really cared and loved for this person then you would show him the affection your posting about rather than sharing it with the whole world just for the attention... it proves your in the relationship for the wrong reasons, just so your not single and can brag rather than because you love them.

the odd status about your other half is totally fine, but nobody needs an update every 5 minutes about your relationship, the whole ups and downs, just go and confide in your other half rather than gun for attention...

I literally cannot stand this!
I block people who post cringey **** like that. Why does your relationship need to be broadcasted.
I personally don't think it shows a healthy relationship if all you ever post is about your partner or what you write about them is over the top lovely dovey. Its fine mentioning your partner on FB and uploading pics now and again, I like seeing people happy together and hear they are getting on well but when its every day almost they write about how much their partner means to them or end every status with "I love 'insert name' soooooo much <3 <3 <3 xxxxxxxxxxxxx" even if the rest of the status had nothing to do with the partner, that is pretty cringy.

When I mention my partner on FB its usually a playful mock (mainly him loving Frozen lol) or quote something funny he said. It was his bday yesterday and instead of writing a big soppy message publically, I just posted a piss take pic of Olaf from Frozen holding a hamburger and a bottle of Strongbow and wished him a happy birthday and said I love him but love mocking him more :tongue: to me that isn't overly loving, I said all the soppy stuff to his face. I think the only time I have wrote a soppy "I am so grateful for my partner" post was a year ago when my cat and my friend died within a few days of each other and my papa was admitted to hospital and told he needed a transplant and my stress and anxiety was through the roof and I couldn't have got through it without him.
Original post by Helenia
I think too much is vomit-inducing and try-hard. If everything was really perfect, why would you need to plaster every detail on facebook for others' approval? Same goes for excessive baby chat.

I almost never post lovey-dovey stuff, it's not my style. I will post if we go somewhere nice together or he treats me to something (and vice versa!) but I don't think that's too excessive. :eek:


Agree about the excessive baby chat. Am friends with a couple in their mid thirties and am sick of hearing about their son Gabriel's poo updates.

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