Straight, but never felt anything towards a woman?

Sometimes I wish I had no attract towards women

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the hardships, expectations and whatnot.

to want to jump the bones of every good-looking woman he sees

Is this just normal for someone like me with such little social experience? Do you think that it is simply a phase? I'd like to think that one day I will meet a woman who I will feel something towards, but when I assess my current state of mind I just cannot see it ever happening.

Yeah a surprising number of men do actually want to do that. And not even good-looking women, just decent ones.


If you've never had any real prolonged social contact with a woman, to get to know her personality, and you are the kind of person to not desire someone only based on what they look like (which it sounds you are) then it makes some sense you've never been attracted to someone in real life. However if you were the kind of person to desire someone based only on their physicality, then it wouldn't make much sense that you've never been attracted to someone, as you say you've met women you would describe as beautiful.

I wonder if you've watched movies and developed a sort of attraction for a persona - both their attributes and physical appearance?

Hey man! I was raised in exactly the same way as you, after 11 I had no contact whatsoever with anyone my own age until uni at 18. I thought I was the only one! High five man, we are both a walking psychiatric experiment.

I had an inkling that it may simply be a lack of social experience, and that this may be affecting me in some ways. Seeing as I'm posting anon, I guess there is no harm in also saying that I have had no positive examples of relationships or romance in my life. My parents' relationship is a train-wreck, and even when they were on good terms they had zero romantic connection, to the point that when I was 6-7 I thought that they acted like friends or siblings.

I hope your right about this .

This is important:

did they divorce/separate/one left/got kicked out/incarcerated/left long term/died? I ask because there is a huge developmental reaction to each of these things in children, and so many facets and factors and layers and stages to the child's psychological reaction if bad relationship examples were in the child's immediate environment. I've got a pretty extensive set of suggestions to help you connect to your sexuality if you wish.

They are completely cut off from each other emotionally, but due to financial problems and the fact that they had four young children (including myself), they stayed together. Things are still like this with them, simply living together because they cannot move away from each other, and all of us are acutely aware that the family unit is on borrowed time.

Between the ages of 8-12, though, there were some problems in my family which probably affected me more than anything. My dad found out that he had a long-lost 19-year-old daughter who he did not know about, and we were forced as a family to try to accept and integrate her into our family unit. This would not have been a problem if she was not clinically bipolar and schizophrenic, and an absolute self-pitying attention junkie who through her madness and my dad's guilt for not being there for her became the centre of our world for four years. In that time the family was put under massive pressure, and I was the one to bear the burden of my mum's angst/sadness/envy about the amount of attention she received because I was the only one she could talk to. I became obese in this period of time, and felt like the clusterf**k of problems would never end. Fortunately, they did: we moved away when I turned 13, I lost 3 stone and got back my confidence and peace of mind.

If your suggestions can in any way help out, they would be greatly appreciated.

How is it workng out for you? Do you still feel this way, or has university changed your perspective?

Thank you. Right ok. Children as young as 1 year and smaller, once cognizance builds, can assess emotions and actions in their immediate environment. It is a developmental stage, a learning stage; they soak up everything and become more and more aware and curious. It's very important for parents to be careful how they act and talk and treat these small children. Also children growing up in homes with dysfunctional relationships will develop insecurities from nerves built at home and it affects their bowel movement, physical health and social interaction with other kids who are meant to be full of glee and energy and many are. So the child either hugs the wall or acts out. Depression, problems will intimacy from erectile dysfunction to general insecurity or blockage in intimacy, or promiscuity, contrarily, comes from serious unresolved childhood issues concerning the parents and abandonment or the lack of stability and emotional security growing up. Substance dependence in teenagers who gain it and adults normally is linked to this. It's actually very sad. Am I getting close anywhere?

I guess that I agree that my experiences have made me somewhat 'guarded' around the opposite sex, and people in general - if you don't let it in it can't hurt you - and that it is a result from these experiences. This is probably at the core of the issue, really. I was definitely not a happy child - I was like Wednesday from the Addams Family. It is getting better though, mainly because of certain feelings of self-empowerment that have developed through self-studying my A-Levels. I guess I'm just glad that I don't have an addictive personality for substances!

Everything you just said is how I plan to raise my own kids, in spite of the example I have been given.

I guess I knew this already in some eat, but talking (typing) it out with someone really helps. Thank you.

Ok. Psychology says in early childhood development, people learn rules of communication and personal interaction skills around 1 and 2 yrs old. And when they're 5 or 6, whatever they have soaked up before then, becomes embedded in them naturally and it greatly affects how they connect, relate and interact socially, psychologically and emotionally with other people. As sexuality is greatly psychological, you probably are just suffering a great disconnect. Technically it could be seen as asexual since something in your subconscious is affecting you and keeping you from naturally connecting to people you are meant to. It's fine you just gotta experience a bit more.

I'm a 19-year-old male starting university in the autumn, and as the title says, I am straight, but I have never felt anything towards a woman. Let me clarify what I mean by this. I know that I am not gay/bisexual, and I know that I am physically attracted to women, but I have never felt actual feeling, either physical or emotional, towards a real woman - I feel strangely uninterested in them.

Admittedly, my experience of being around women is incredibly limited. I have been home-educated my entire life and don't have any friends to speak of, and so my only experience of women is just brief exchanges when outside. I am not stupid enough to think that a man is supposed to want to jump the bones of every good-looking woman he sees, but I have never felt any feeling whatsoever towards a woman.

Is this just normal for someone like me with such little social experience? Do you think that it is simply a phase? I'd like to think that one day I will meet a woman who I will feel something towards, but when I assess my current state of mind I just cannot see it ever happening. It is not as if I have not seen any pretty women out there - some beautiful ones in fact - but this means nothing more to mean than some objective fact.

Any (constructive) input would be greatly appreciated.

P.S. Went anon because such a thread is not usually my style.

psychology is mainly pseudo-science unless you have the study to back up said claims where the researchers didn't just guess a conclusion.

I guess that I agree that my experiences have made me somewhat 'guarded' around the opposite sex, and people in general - if you don't let it in it can't hurt you - and that it is a result from these experiences. This is probably at the core of the issue, really. I was definitely not a happy child - I was like Wednesday from the Addams Family. It is getting better though, mainly because of certain feelings of self-empowerment that have developed through self-studying my A-Levels. I guess I'm just glad that I don't have an addictive personality for substances!Everything you just said is how I plan to raise my own kids, in spite of the example I have been given.I guess I knew this already in some eat, but talking (typing) it out with someone really helps. Thank you.

..what are you referencing? And I take courses, I can't link my professor's lectures. I'm not a pseudointellectual just googling as I go, but if you really are interested I'll ask my old professor, when Uni starts again..., where he got his sources from.

you're welcome but do you mean you plan to raise your children in a dysfunctional relationship??