The Student Room Group

5th August: Do you think you have a healthy relationship with food?

Thisweek on The Surgery, Gemma and Dr Radha will be talking about Eating Disorders. If you've got experience of an eating disorder yourself, or maybe you're aftersome advice on how to help a friend, The Surgery is here for you this week.

You can post any questions, stories or comments here, and if you want to be involved in the show, please let us know in your post!

Note: you can post anonymously in this forum

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Hi, I've recently begun treatment for my eating disorder. I think one of the biggest problems today regarding eating disorders are 'thinspo' pictures and 'pro-ana' websites - they triggered my eating disorder and have given rise to a lot of others.
I'll start the ball rolling then shall I?

From a young age I was always called fat; there were amalgamations of my name with many different "fat" words and it really got to me. (Even though I was quite chubby).

Eventually in 2011 it got too much for me, and once I began to restrict my diet and I took up running - at first it was normal and healthy and a lifestyle change. Fine. It all got out of hand late 2011 when I began to literally eat 500 calories a day and run 5km.

Mid 2012 I was unhappy with results and began purging - every meal, every day (except breakfast because that was always important to me). I lost a lot of weight but was still not content with myself and kept going, I couldn't tell anyone I was struggling because I was the one people came to for support, I was happy and academically successful, I didn't want people to see that side of me.

I stopped purging regularly mid 2013 but continued the excessive running and diet restrictions. I used my study leave for exams to run four times a day and count calories in food. Some friends and teachers by this point had noticed my reservations regarding food and how unresponsive I would become late afternoon in classes from not eating and how pale my face would be.

Since then I have improved. I refuse to eat unhealthily which can be annoying at times (but I ate a pizza in May and cried for an hour). Very, very rarely do I even contemplate purging although it has happened once this year. I gained weight which I knew was inevitable once I began to nourish my body again and I am now working on losing it all properly, with a good diet and exercise.

I'll be perfectly honest, I force myself to eat because otherwise I wouldn't be able to do the things I do and I would be ill. I have severe reservations with eating and get quite anxious after eating anything unhealthy (so I simply don't). I want to think normally again but there is something preventing me from doing so and I can't prevent myself from being like this - I've never seen anyone about it, although I have told friends about my past experience. In other words, I eat to live, I don't live to eat. (Although I appreciate good food).

Happy to answer any questions. Just ask!
I started suffering from Anorexia a few years ago and since then it's only got worse and developed Bulimia as well :frown: It's just something I have to live with I guess, for as long as I can remember it's been there
Reply 4
I've been told by numerous medical professionals (GPs, psychiatrists, a psychologist) that I have an eating disorder, specifically anorexia. Except I don't think I do...I don't fit the weight requirement. So I guess I'm atypical? They haven't actually told me what they've diagnosed me with yet, if anything. They also don't seem to want to help me recover either. Having said that, I wasn't always restrictive with my eating/drinking, I used to binge, and sometimes I still do.

I use my ED as a coping mechanism, I think I initially developed it to help cope with the traumatic nature of my childhood (I have posttraumatic stress disorder in addition to my ED). The ED gave me something to focus on and I guess it was my way of abusing my own body because I felt as though it was my fault that I was getting abused, so I deserved to be punished.

I've been ED'd since I was about 10 years old (possibly younger), and I'm 21 now. I've also lost one of my best friends to an ED recently.

Eating disorders kill and I wish the NHS would actually try and help rather than making people feel as though they're not ill enough. The lack of support I've felt from my community mental health team has actually made me feel terrible and made my mental health take a turn for the worse.
(edited 8 years ago)
I studied abroad my junior year and my host mother was an undiagnosed anorexic. She was ridiculously obsessed with food, and refused to buy anything when her husband wasn't around... Eventually he came home from a work trip and opened the fridge and said "There's nothing in here but condiments!" Which was exactly true. She would live off only those gross stir-in packets of soup when she could.

When I got to Australia I was a healthy, semi-active teenage girl at a very healthy weight for my height (tall), but the stress from living in a bad host family situation caused me to eat compulsively, and I began gaining weight. My host mother began to comment. I was so stuck in my resolve, however, (fueled by my hatred for her) that her comments didn't actually affect me until I left, and realized how bad everything was: how badly I was eating, how badly she had treated me, how much weight I had gained. I made a conscious effort to eat healthier and exercise more, and I was doing pretty well.

When I came home, however, the obsession intensified. I think I was trying to cope with the stress of returning home after a year abroad, a year where friends had made memories I wasn't a part of, and a year where I was subjected to a whole lot of body-shaming, and it manifested itself physically. I was aiming for a thousand calories a day, but would usually only eat around 700, not eating during the school day so I could eat my calories when I came home and look like I was healthier than I was. I was in a fog. I don't remember much of that semester at all, and that's a really scary thing, to just lose a part of your life like that.

I will freely admit it could have been a lot worse, and believe me, it would have been, but I was lucky. I have great, supportive friends, who helped me unlearn my obsession with food. But there also just came a day when I realized that I would rather be able to function properly than be thin. And it was hard. It sucked. It still bothers me sometimes. But it's amazing all of the things you have time to think about when you're not constantly running numbers or hiding your habits. And things didn't become better right away. I gained some weight back, and lost it in a relapse, and recovered again. Now, I think I'm healthier than I've ever been: strong, fit, and active, and eating well. Eating enough.

Resolving my eating disorder was by far both the hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever done. It's worth every second of struggle, I promise
(edited 8 years ago)
It's a love/hate relationship

As in, I love food, but hate myself for eating so much of it
Food has always been a problem for me on a personal level. My parents couldn't afford fruit and veg so we would always eat tinned food. Whether it would be pineapple, beans whatever. I was very slim, and consequently happy with my weight. I thought being slim was cool and in "fashion" as though you would be treated an elite if you were. But as soon as I went into your year 9 I put on weight and was incredibly dissatisfied with my weight. People would notice my weight again as I moved from 35kg to 45kg and I was consequentely labeled as the fat girl. I felt fat and convinced I was fat. I wanted to go back to how I was, how people percieved me and wanted to be slim. I went on numerous diets which didn't work, skipped meals and eventually turned to hands down my throat to vomit out food. My weight was all that was on my mind, and the more I vomited out the more happy I felt and relieved. I convinces my self it was the best thing to do and the most effective way to loose the weight. Each day the weight would decrease and inside it was best feeling ever! My mum, caught me one day vomiting my dinner and questioned me how long its been going on for and why. I lied, but she knew I was lying and booked me to see GP. I was diagnosed with bleamia and anorexia which at the time didn't bother me. After 3 years I am fully recovered and now weigh 55kg. I don't care about being slim, and I don't care what other thing. My road to recovery was bumpy, my mum blaming herself and me having alack of awareness towards my condition. I just want to advise people who are also going through hard time to seek help, and don't leave it to late.
Original post by MagicJigsaw
Hi, I've recently begun treatment for my eating disorder. I think one of the biggest problems today regarding eating disorders are 'thinspo' pictures and 'pro-ana' websites - they triggered my eating disorder and have given rise to a lot of others.


Heya,

What is a 'pro-ana' website?

I hope your treatment is going well- it's one of those things that might seem daunting at first but will get much easier :h:
A long time ago, I have had a bad relationship to my food, as I have just eaten too much, thus I became fat. Moreover my diet was not balanced, that is to say I have eaten almost the same every day.

But one day, I have realized my situation and did everything that it gets better in the future. With the help of my friends, a strong discipline and sports, I was able to change my life completely. It was a hard time in the sense of to overcome the weaker self in you, but it pays. I have a better feeling and a better attitude to my body than ever before.

I told that here in this thread to encourage people in changing their live with an eating disorder. That is why, this time, I want that this writing is involved in our Show.
I L:heart:VE FOOD !:heart:
Original post by Queen Cersei
Heya,

What is a 'pro-ana' website?

I hope your treatment is going well- it's one of those things that might seem daunting at first but will get much easier :h:


Hi, thanks. :smile: A pro-ana website is a site that promotes anorexia as a lifestyle choice rather than as a disease - it posts pictures of emaciated people, shares weight loss tips, encourages other people not to eat, etc.
Original post by MagicJigsaw
Hi, thanks. :smile: A pro-ana website is a site that promotes anorexia as a lifestyle choice rather than as a disease - it posts pictures of emaciated people, shares weight loss tips, encourages other people not to eat, etc.


Blimey- I never knew these existed. I find the media and the internet have such a profound negative effect on body images so that a pressure is created to look either one extreme or the other. I'm not sure which treatment you are doing but I would recommend reading about mindfulness as it is a good long-term way to help with the thoughts that come alongside these pressures.
As someone else has posted, there are communities of people who are pro-ana; there are also communities of people who are suffering from EDs, pro-ana or not, and they create a kind of sense of belonging. I fell into one of those communities on tumblr, and I ended up developing anorexia. I lost about 80lbs in total.

There are other health problems that people should be aware of, though. You lose hair. It's hard to concentrate. I also developed a gallstone. Gallstones usually only appear in people who are over 40, so when the nurse did the ultrasound and saw I had one, everyone was very surprised. I went through months of agony; I have a high pain tolerance (3rd degree burns don't compare) but it's apparently one of the most painful things you can go through. And now because of that, I can't ever eat greasy foods (e.g. pizza) without having another gallbladder attack.

It doesn't help that there's very little support, and the way the disorder is viewed tends to label people as 'attention seekers' (as if having an ED is a good thing?). Even when I decided I wanted help, I opted to deal with it myself because I knew my family/friends would think it was a joke.
Original post by SassyDancer
I L:heart:VE FOOD !:heart:


Is there a certain kind of food which you love in particular? id est a certain cuisine?
Original post by Kallisto
Is there a certain kind of food which you love in particular? id est a certain cuisine?


Love mostly everything. I'm a sweet tooth so cant live without choc for a whole week!! I'm so bad
Original post by SassyDancer
Love mostly everything. I'm a sweet tooth so cant live without choc for a whole week!! I'm so bad


I am still eating sweets and chocolate one time per week too. That is not reprehensible, if it is not too much.
Original post by Kallisto
I am still eating sweets and chocolate one time per week too. That is not reprehensible, if it is not too much.


Thats awrite, yur fine! I mean I used to have atleast a bar everyday and when I try and stop, wouldn't last a week. Don think its an addiction tho :P
Original post by SassyDancer
Thats awrite, yur fine! I mean I used to have atleast a bar everyday and when I try and stop, wouldn't last a week. Don think its an addiction tho :P


A single bar is nothing wrong. If you would eat a dozen of it (per day!), so you should be afraid of your relationship to health and food.
I have never been diagnosed properly but I've struggled with food for a few years now, I was bullied in years 9-11 (I've moved schools for year 12, now I'm starting yr13) the girls bullying me were not exactly skinny, they made me feel like I was as big as them, making me buy them slimming pills but then the temptation was there so I took them, over exercised (gym every morning before school for 1hr plus afterschool for 2 hours 3 times a week) I walked to and from school even though I had a bus pass (45 min walk). My PE Teacher rang my parents and said to keep an eye on me but when my mom she's questions it just made it worse, I had to hide it more. It got shouted round the school I had a problem because I never ate infront of people an was always exercising, i still struggle today but I don't purge any more, I still weigh myself daily and any increase is deeply upsetting but I know that I can't go back to how I was, I started a new school where know body knows about the past so that has helped. I can't say it won't get bad again when I leave home for uni but hopefully it won't

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