The Student Room Group

Should I leave her?

Bear with me, I know this is quite long.:smile:


I've been seeing this girl for a few days, everything was going fine between the two of us, but in the midst of a phone conversation we had an argument and she said that she still loved her ex not the one she recently broke up with but the one prior to her recent ex who she was seeing for 3 years. I quickly got hurt and told her that it was over, and cut the phone, the next day she called back and said that she was sorry and was acting/being evil and spent the night crying regretting what she had said, saying things like "I am the one for her" and "I know I want to be with you, but I just need time", but this has left me in a dilemma of whether I should stay with her or not, I am just not sure if I should stay with a girl that still has love left for her ex?
(edited 8 years ago)

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
To be honest she would've known this before she got involved with you and that's just a d*ck move, you were kind of a rebound and she didn't think of your feelings when she told you.
But also it was decent of her to be honest with you so its a difficult decision that only you can make, do you like her enough to stick around and wait for her to stop longing for someone else or do you want to end it because theres no point on being with someone thats not putting 100% into the relationship.

Only you can make this decision :smile:
Original post by lucyl024
To be honest she would've known this before she got involved with you and that's just a d*ck move, you were kind of a rebound and she didn't think of your feelings when she told you.
But also it was decent of her to be honest with you so its a difficult decision that only you can make, do you like her enough to stick around and wait for her to stop longing for someone else or do you want to end it because theres no point on being with someone thats not putting 100% into the relationship.

Only you can make this decision :smile:



I don't know what to do.:frown:

When we met she said she really really liked me, but it's only been a few days into our relationship, so I can still cut everything off, before I start having really strong emotions for her, she said she really really likes me but it's not love as it's only been a few days but she still has love left for her ex.

So honestly I really don't know what to do?
Reply 3
Original post by Peel. Dem Crew
Bear with me, I know this is quite long.:smile:


I've been seeing this girl for a few days, everything was going fine between the two of us, but in the midst of a phone conversation we had an argument and she said that she still loved her ex not the one she recently broke up with but the one prior to her recent ex who she was seeing for 3 years. I quickly got hurt and told her that it was over, and cut the phone, the next day she called back and said that she was sorry and was acting/being evil and spent the night crying regretting what she had said, saying things like "I am the one for her" and "I know I want to be with you, but I just need time", but this has left me in a dilemma of whether I should stay with her or not, I am just not sure if I should stay with a girl that still has love left for her ex?


Leave before you're balls deep in the relationship OP; you're most likely a rebound. It'll hurt less if you exit this seemingly train-wrecked scenario ASAP.
Reply 4
Original post by Peel. Dem Crew
I don't know what to do.:frown:

When we met she said she really really liked me, but it's only been a few days into our relationship, so I can still cut everything off, before I start having really strong emotions for her, she said she really really likes me but it's not love as it's only been a few days but she still has love left for her ex.

So honestly I really don't know what to do?


It's a really difficult one but personally if i was in your position i'd give it a chance, but i wouldn't let myself get attached too easily because you probably don't know her that well to trust her you know? So my advice is if you really like her just give it a shot, you never know you could marry that girl someday:wink:
Original post by lucyl024
It's a really difficult one but personally if i was in your position i'd give it a chance, but i wouldn't let myself get attached too easily because you probably don't know her that well to trust her you know? So my advice is if you really like her just give it a shot, you never know you could marry that girl someday:wink:


Idk I am already hurt, so I might cut this relationship short, don't want to take any more chances and get hurt again.

But thanks for the help.:smile:
Reply 6
Original post by Peel. Dem Crew
I've been seeing this girl for a few days


saying things like "I am the one for her" and "I know I want to be with you, but I just need time"


What she 'needs' is a course of intensive psychotherapy.
Original post by Zer0.
Leave before you're balls deep in the relationship OP; you're most likely a rebound. It'll hurt less if you exit this seemingly train-wrecked scenario ASAP.


Yeah you're probably right, what she said did hurt I won't lie. But she did say that she really really liked me but it wasn't love yet as it is too soon for that. But she was with her ex for three years and the love was kind of still there.

But you're probably right I'll end it tomorrow. Thanks for the advice.:smile:
Original post by Profesh
What she 'needs' is a course of intensive psychotherapy.


Why?
Original post by Peel. Dem Crew



I've been seeing this girl for a few days.....saying things like "I am the one for her" and "I know I want to be with you, but I just need time", but this has left me in a dilemma of whether I should stay with her or not, I am just not sure if I should stay with a girl that still has love left for her ex?


:lolwut: :lolwut:
Original post by Peel. Dem Crew
Why?

Because those are not sentiments that any sane individual would express to someone they've been seeing for less time than it takes me to commit to a new pair of shoes.
Original post by Profesh
Because those are not sentiments that any sane individual would express to someone they've been seeing for less time than it takes me to commit to a new pair of shoes.


Lol ok, so I am dating a person with a mental disorder.
Original post by Peel. Dem Crew
Lol ok, so I am dating a person with a mental disorder.

No: you're dating someone who, owing to said unmanaged emotional instability, is incompetent at dating.
Original post by Profesh
No: you're dating someone who, owing to said unmanaged emotional instability, is incompetent at dating.


Yeah I agree, I have also noticed that she is quite spiteful as well. As in she would do anything in her capability to get even with you,even if it seriously hurts the person both physically or emotionally.
Which is quite worrying
That on its own doesn't justify ending it. Her past isn't as important as how she feels about you and what her views are towards the current relationship.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Thickfreakness
That on its own doesn't justify ending it. Her past isn't as important as how she feels about you and what her views are towards the current relationship.

Posted from TSR Mobile


So you would advise me not to end the relationship?

Tbh I have only known her for 4 days now, so it's too soon for us to fall in love or for anything serious to flourish, and she was with her ex for 3 years.

But would it be smart for me to remain with someone that still has love for ex, but she did say that she really really likes me?

So i don't know, I'm really confused on what to do right now.
Original post by Peel. Dem Crew
So you would advise me not to end the relationship?

Tbh I have only known her for 4 days now, so it's too soon for us to fall in love or for anything serious to flourish, and she was with her ex for 3 years.

But would it be smart for me to remain with someone that still has love for ex, but she did say that she really really likes me?

So i don't know, I'm really confused on what to do right now.


Don't rush to end the relationship and to dismiss her so readily. Take some time to think about it, hear her out. If you come to a rational, well-founded conclusion that it's best to end it, then so be it, but I don't think you're at that stage yet...unless I'm wrong.

It's a confusing situation. The easy thing to do would be to leave her and forget about her. And you can do that without too much emotional backlash as you've only known her for a few days. But just because it's easy, that doesn't mean it's the best option.

Why not give her a chance? If you feel up to it, if you're interested in her, then spend some time trying to get a better idea of how hung up she still is on her ex.

I'm not in a position to give any advice because I know nothing. But I can share my opinion, I think if you're interested in her, then you can pursue her further. If you're not interested, it's okay to walk away.

If she is genuinely still in love with her ex, it's a dangerous game. I don't know who dumped who, I don't know if she wants to get back with him, I don't know if she has no intention of getting back with him...so it's a very tricky situation. It's risky to get involved with her...what if you get serious about her and then she decides to go back to her ex, leaving you high and dry?

Anyway, don't let me sway you either way, it's your choice. It's only been four days so it's very easy to walk away from, that option is still available. You can nip it in the bud and save yourself a lot of hassle and headache. Or...you can take a big risk. Are you a gambling man?
Original post by Thickfreakness
Don't rush to end the relationship and to dismiss her so readily. Take some time to think about it, hear her out. If you come to a rational, well-founded conclusion that it's best to end it, then so be it, but I don't think you're at that stage yet...unless I'm wrong.

It's a confusing situation. The easy thing to do would be to leave her and forget about her. And you can do that without too much emotional backlash as you've only known her for a few days. But just because it's easy, that doesn't mean it's the best option.

Why not give her a chance? If you feel up to it, if you're interested in her, then spend some time trying to get a better idea of how hung up she still is on her ex.

I'm not in a position to give any advice because I know nothing. But I can share my opinion, I think if you're interested in her, then you can pursue her further. If you're not interested, it's okay to walk away.

If she is genuinely still in love with her ex, it's a dangerous game. I don't know who dumped who, I don't know if she wants to get back with him, I don't know if she has no intention of getting back with him...so it's a very tricky situation. It's risky to get involved with her...what if you get serious about her and then she decides to go back to her ex, leaving you high and dry?

Anyway, don't let me sway you either way, it's your choice. It's only been four days so it's very easy to walk away from, that option is still available. You can nip it in the bud and save yourself a lot of hassle and headache. Or...you can take a big risk. Are you a gambling man?


Wow, you have given me the best advice so far. Yes you're right it's a huge risk on the one side we could end up falling in love and have a good relationship, and on the other end she might end up dumping me and returning with her ex, so you're right it's a gamble as I might end up really hurt in the process.

But I will give it a chance and see how things turn out between the two of us,but if it turns out that she still has love for her ex, then I will have to call it quits I am afraid.

But thanks for the help.:smile:
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by somemightsay888
:lolwut: :lolwut:


Yeah I know it's baffling.
You've only known her for 4 days? or been going out with her for 4 days or known her for 4 days and been going out with her for 4 days? :s-smilie:

Quick Reply

Latest