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My mother tried to touch me?

I'm 19 years old, and at a young age (6-9)my mum would touch me inappropriately from the chest to where my genitals were. She used to tell me that I shouldn't let anyone besides her touch me in this way. I thought it was normal because I was young and naive.

She eventually stopped but then when I was 16, she tried to touch my breasts when we sat in the bus. Obviously I was scared so I started avoiding her, but then I got into an argument with my parents because she insisted I was crazy for not wanting to sleep in the same bed with her.

After that incident and now at the age of 19, she asked me 'has your boyfriend touched your breasts? Because you shouldn't let him'
It was really creepy and I don't know who to turn for help, because no one in my family knows this and I'm worried to go to my friends.

I know this sounds ****ed up, but I'm not financially stable to move out either :frown:

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Reply 1
Phone the police, they'll be able to help you out.
Your mother is, firstly, a pedophile, and secondly a pervert. Call the police.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 19 years old, and at a young age (6-9)my mum would touch me inappropriately from the chest to where my genitals were. She used to tell me that I shouldn't let anyone besides her touch me in this way. I thought it was normal because I was young and naive.

She eventually stopped but then when I was 16, she tried to touch my breasts when we sat in the bus. Obviously I was scared so I started avoiding her, but then I got into an argument with my parents because she insisted I was crazy for not wanting to sleep in the same bed with her.

After that incident and now at the age of 19, she asked me 'has your boyfriend touched your breasts? Because you shouldn't let him'
It was really creepy and I don't know who to turn for help, because no one in my family knows this and I'm worried to go to my friends.

I know this sounds ****ed up, but I'm not financially stable to move out either :frown:


"parents?" tell your other, obviously.

Idk if you're serious but you're lucky I was able to type this out because I'm absolutely ****ing disturbed and I don't think I can come back to the thread. God bless you.
Reply 4
I'm so sorry, but you need to phone the police - they have people dedicated to dealing with these sorts of crimes (what happened to you was a crime). I hope that whatever happens next, you are able to get peace and justice in your life as the ultimate outcome.
Reply 5
I'm sorry for disturbing people out there, it's just something i have kept and not told anyone because i thought that since it didn't happen for several years, maybe things would return to normal. I know I should call the police but then where would I go? and as stupid as this sounds, I would rather finish what I have left to do in life and save up money to move out so I don't have to deal with this anymore.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm sorry for disturbing people out there, it's just something i have kept and not told anyone because i thought that since it didn't happen for several years, maybe things would return to normal. I know I should call the police but then where would I go? and as stupid as this sounds, I would rather finish what I have left to do in life and save up money to move out so I don't have to deal with this anymore.


You don't have to be sorry for anything, I'm sorry this happened to you. It is not normal and from your description it sounds that your mother molested you and tried to mess up with your mind. You obviously know you have been violated and that you need to get out.

What I would do is quietly put a plan in place for you to remove yourself from her influence, her presence, and her house as soon as possible. You may not be financially stable right now, but this should be your first priority so you can get out. Continue to be firm avoiding her in the meantime. Get support and talk to someone who can understand and will not be intimidated by your story (maybe a therapist, a friend you can trust, your boyfriend if you feel you can trust him, internet groups of people who had similar experiences?)

Although I agree with others who said that you should address this more formally at some point (i.e confront her and out her, even to police), this is a very difficult and unpredictable confrontation and from what you say you have spoken to no one and have no support system at the moment so I am worried that if you do this haphazardly and before you have some kind of plan or any help, she may make things even more difficult for you. Be proactive in getting some support. Good luck and get out.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 19 years old, and at a young age (6-9)my mum would touch me inappropriately from the chest to where my genitals were. She used to tell me that I shouldn't let anyone besides her touch me in this way. I thought it was normal because I was young and naive.She eventually stopped but then when I was 16, she tried to touch my breasts when we sat in the bus. Obviously I was scared so I started avoiding her, but then I got into an argument with my parents because she insisted I was crazy for not wanting to sleep in the same bed with her.After that incident and now at the age of 19, she asked me 'has your boyfriend touched your breasts? Because you shouldn't let him'It was really creepy and I don't know who to turn for help, because no one in my family knows this and I'm worried to go to my friends.I know this sounds ****ed up, but I'm not financially stable to move out either :frown:



Contact the police, you needn't dial 999 but go to your local station or ring the local police number when you have the privacy. They should have designated and trained personnel to help you. Take a trusted friend or other relative who you trust about this if you feel you want somewhere now.

That's very daunting, but there are other entirely confidential* sources of support as well which can also help you with speaking to the police eventually:

- Even though you're 19 now, the NSPCC's Childline will probably be able to offer advice and support, or if not, pass you onto another service that can: 0800 1111
- Victim Support is a UK charity with both a helpline (0808 1689111) and can even be emailed ([email protected]) for advice on any sort of abuse or attack.
- If you don't know who to call or feel you can't talk to anyone else, your GP should be able to help and also get in touch with services on your behalf.

If you have any siblings - especially younger ones - it's important you do talk to someone not just for your own sake, but for theirs as well.


*Confidentiality can legally be broken if they believe, from what you've told them, that there is an immediate risk to the well-being of someone else in which they must intervene.
(edited 8 years ago)
are you able to tell you're dad or another family member
This is messed up. Sounds like she is pretty screwed up. Police and men in white coats are required
Reply 10
That's really disturbing. Sorry, I have no input to help you.

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Erm can I ask if you have any other siblings and if your Mum is a lesbian. I would say if you do call the police that would mean that you would obviously end the relationship with your Mum. That is not as easy as it sounds as you would be on your own and no longer able to rely on her. Have you ever asked her why she does it of told her to stop. My advice would be to bide your time until you are able to move out and then move out. Also remember that there probably would be little chance of her being convicted unless there are witnesses or some form of evidence.
Tell her to stop saying inappropriate comments like that, you don't like it and it's 100% wrong. If she continues just don't let her come near you.

Unless you have evidence, you hate her 100% and want her in prison. There's no need to call the police, it's in the past, and it was wrong 100% but do you really want to put your mum in prison :colonhash:
There are no words for this....

Honestly I don't even know what to say to you, people are saying 'tell the police' but I dont think they would do anything. You say she touched your breasts etc, but did she actually do anything explicitly sexual? Because unfortunately, female rapists are not even taken seriously, according to the law you can only rape someone if you have a penis.. which is complete bull****, but if she didn't do anything explicity sexual other than put her hands on you in a sexual way, the police are not even going to take this seriously, especially since it was over a decade ago and no direct sexual contact actualy happened.

I cant even imagine being in this situation but you should get away from her as soon as you can... do you have any small siblings??
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Andrew657Thomas
Tell her to stop saying inappropriate comments like that, you don't like it and it's 100% wrong. If she continues just don't let her come near you.

Unless you have evidence, you hate her 100% and want her in prison. There's no need to call the police, it's in the past, and it was wrong 100% but do you really want to put your mum in prison :colonhash:


Wouldnt you like to see your mom in prison if she did sexual things to you.... ? Just because it was 'in the past'? .....
Original post by karl pilkington
Erm can I ask if you have any other siblings and if your Mum is a lesbian. I would say if you do call the police that would mean that you would obviously end the relationship with your Mum. That is not as easy as it sounds as you would be on your own and no longer able to rely on her. Have you ever asked her why she does it of told her to stop. My advice would be to bide your time until you are able to move out and then move out. Also remember that there probably would be little chance of her being convicted unless there are witnesses or some form of evidence.


Really?
homosexual = pedophile? :s-smilie:
This sounds very Norman Bates like - the incestuous overtones are overwhelming.

Ignore what people say when they say 'call the police' because they need to consider the knock on effect it will have on you

Perhaps threatening to tell someone on the outside and fear of judgement/being sent in will cause her to stop?

I can't imagine how difficult of a time it must be for you right now, and it certainly won't be easy revealing to someone that your mother does this. But what she does is definitely paedophilic and you shouldn't accept it under any circumstances.
How long did it take you to realise?

What kind of mother would do that to her child? I'm disgusted :angry:
Original post by eskimo_rising
Really?
homosexual = pedophile? :s-smilie:


true but she did say that she also touched her at 19 or something
Original post by driftawaay
There are no words for this....

Honestly I don't even know what to say to you, people are saying 'tell the police' but I dont think they would do anything. You say she touched your breasts etc, but did she actually do anything explicitly sexual? Because unfortunately, female rapists are not even taken seriously, according to the law you can only rape someone if you have a penis.. which is complete bull****, but if she didn't do anything explicity sexual other than put her hands on you in a sexual way, the police are not even going to take this seriously, especially since it was over a decade ago and no direct sexual contact actualy happened.

I cant even imagine being in this situation but you should get away from her as soon as you can... do you have any small siblings??


No, it was never anything explicitly sexual, she just touched me in a really disgusting way. And I do have siblings, i've told one of them before but she didn't take me seriously and laughed it off. They're both doing their own thing in other countries so I am on my own.

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